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Update on my dad - Carers UK Forum

Update on my dad

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Hi just wanted to update you on my dad I went for a meeting today with a social worker ( at last) a consultant and his key worker all the s w kept saying is when your dad comes home next week we will put in place some help but it won’t be till after the holidays but you can manage till then can’t you because your dad is capable of washing and dressing himself and his mobility is good I just looked at her and said you are joking he can’t do any of those things and no he’s not coming home because I can’t do it anymore and my granddaughter is still not ok so she said well we’ll have to look at sheltered housing then your dad can pay the rent and look after himself I’m sorry but is she really being serious the doctor was really good and he said that my dad needed a lot of support and that he wouldn’t be discharging him until they’d found somewhere suitable well he’ll have to pay for his care she’s in for a shock cos he doesn’t have any money she was horrible I’m so busy I’m working Christmas Eve really my son is working Christmas Eve Christmas Day and Boxing Day he’s not expecting a medal and she’s too busy to take phone calls ( not that I’d be calling her) I have to text her if I have any questions at least my dad is ok there and he’s quite happy to stay there we will just have to wait and see what happens at the next meeting :roll:
It is not the role of a nurse to say where dad lives in future, but the role of Social Services. She is quietly bullying you. Please write down her name, her role in the ward, and what she says, as soon as possible after she says it. You may want to take further action in due course.
Whether or not dad has any money is none of her business either. I dad needs supported living or residential care it is the job of Social Services to do a financial assessment and then arrange services accordingly.
I'm not going anywhere over the holidays, happy to help when I can, in between excited grandson his dad (my eldest son) and M, my younger son aged 40 with severe learning difficulties.
Hi bowlingbun it was the social worker who was saying all that she was awful I think that’s why the doctor said he wasn’t going to discharge him she said well you need to tell me why you won’t have your dad back home he has rights too and if he wants to go back home then he can unless he’s not got capacity the doctor said he was going to assess him this week he has been diagnosed with Lewy body dementia so that’s something positive about him being in there
It was excellent that you didnt cave in to the social worker. If he were to come home they wouldnt be able to get any agency care until everyone is back after the new year, in my experience with my mum. If needbe, take his front door key from him and any lockbox and stand firm. Social worker is trying to play you for her convenience!
Well done, Tracey. The other. thing I have learned from advice here is that when the discharge is finally arranged you should not sign anything about care or accommodation (or at least not until you have understood it and got advice on it) - that is because you don't have to pay anything, it is not your finances which are being assessed and you don't have to pay any top-up fees. You might need to stand firm for a bit longer yet.
Thank you I did say to my son don’t let me cave in and say yes he can come home it helped that the social worker was horrible and I knew it was about money well I can be stubborn and I am standing up for myself otherwise it will be me in the hospital thanks for your support
Tracey, is this a trained social worker?
I used to point people in the direction of the SW's register, on the Healthcare Professional's website, HCPC, but the responsibility for registration has just changed and I can't remember the new name.
https://www.socialworkengland.org.uk/

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