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Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2019 2:07 pm
by Henrietta
Hi Paul

I think it is worth saying again that I think your Dad is showing early signs of dementia . I know his attitude to his grandchildren is upsetting but that is one of the signs of dementia. Your Dad's world is shrinking, the people who he is acknowledging are shrinking down to the nearest , dearest and those doing active things for him. Please please don't take it so personally. Dementia is a cruel business and can make someone extremely selfish and self focussed. To your dad it may well apear that your children and his niece are a nuisance, they aren't there to serve him and are distracting other people from giving him the time and attention he is now craving. He is not a bad man but an ill man who needs handling and managing.
Just because your dad can still remember things and is still self functioning doesn't mean that he is just old and nasty and doesn't have dementia. Please do take time to read through the previous links I have sent on early stage dementia. . Believe me that you will be the first person to see the signs and not the medical profession.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2019 11:24 pm
by Stephen_16071
I agree with Henrietta, you mentioned problems with swallowing a while back and dismissed it as stress related.

Any carer will tell you, trouble swallowing can be the sign of a stroke, which can in turn lead to vascular dementia.

You're Dad seems to be showing the signs of dementia, maybe talk him into a CT scan just to confirm (I know that won't be easy)

I enjoy every moment with my Mum, while she still recognises me, asks for me. I know at some point she won't recognise me anymore. I'd suggest you do the same with your Dad..

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Sat Jun 08, 2019 6:39 am
by Pet66
Paul
Im not intending to take up your thread so please forgive. Just want to explain something to Stephen.
It's not an absolute certainty that your mum will get to the point that she won't recognise you. A possibility yes of course. Late hubby always recognised me and my family, thankfully, and lots of the residents in the nursing home continued to know their loved ones. Not all. Face it if it happens, and it's good you are aware, but try not to dwell. This is imho.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Sat Jun 08, 2019 8:19 am
by Henrietta
Yes I agree Pet same with Dad who had VDem

Back to Paul- also the miserly money "won't spend my gold as saving for a rainy day" syndrome plus constant pestering phone calls plus inability to have any empathy , constant moaning and not wanting to go out himself- all classic signs Paul.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:44 am
by paul_1607
Henrietta wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 2:07 pm
Hi Paul

I think it is worth saying again that I think your Dad is showing early signs of dementia . I know his attitude to his grandchildren is upsetting but that is one of the signs of dementia. Your Dad's world is shrinking, the people who he is acknowledging are shrinking down to the nearest , dearest and those doing active things for him. Please please don't take it so personally. Dementia is a cruel business and can make someone extremely selfish and self focussed. To your dad it may well apear that your children and his niece are a nuisance, they aren't there to serve him and are distracting other people from giving him the time and attention he is now craving. He is not a bad man but an ill man who needs handling and managing.
Just because your dad can still remember things and is still self functioning doesn't mean that he is just old and nasty and doesn't have dementia. Please do take time to read through the previous links I have sent on early stage dementia. . Believe me that you will be the first person to see the signs and not the medical profession.
Thanks Henrietta - I will take a look at those links again.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:46 am
by paul_1607
Stephen_16071 wrote:
Fri Jun 07, 2019 11:24 pm
I agree with Henrietta, you mentioned problems with swallowing a while back and dismissed it as stress related.

Any carer will tell you, trouble swallowing can be the sign of a stroke, which can in turn lead to vascular dementia.

You're Dad seems to be showing the signs of dementia, maybe talk him into a CT scan just to confirm (I know that won't be easy)

I enjoy every moment with my Mum, while she still recognises me, asks for me. I know at some point she won't recognise me anymore. I'd suggest you do the same with your Dad..
Thanks Stephen. Well it was all checked out when he had this so I'm assuming its all good now.... But of course, you never know with the NHS.

What do you see on a CT scan then? Or is just just vascular dementia?

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:48 am
by paul_1607
Henrietta wrote:
Sat Jun 08, 2019 8:19 am
Yes I agree Pet same with Dad who had VDem

Back to Paul- also the miserly money "won't spend my gold as saving for a rainy day" syndrome plus constant pestering phone calls plus inability to have any empathy , constant moaning and not wanting to go out himself- all classic signs Paul.
Yeh know what you mean. Trouble is twice now I've spoken to his GP (a hard task in itself) and both times they have said, categorically, without a doubt he does not have dementia and, even though, I tried to get them to they refused to push it any further.

With the behaviour thing, does a person with dementia change rapidly like this? Thing is a lot of my Dad behaviour stems from probably last 30-40 years its just got worse.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:52 pm
by susieq
paul_1607 wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:46 am

What do you see on a CT scan then? Or is just just vascular dementia?
A CT scan can show areas of the brain where shrinkage has/is occurred/occurring.
It was my Mum's CT scan which fully revealed the extent of her Alzheimer's dementia - especially in the areas connected with memory.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:15 pm
by Pet66
The scan showed the several Tia's that hubby had suffered. Looked like pin pricks on his brain. These Tia's ( mini strokes) are often hidden. The memory tests in the assessment centre established he had vascular dementia.

Re: Update on Dad - and next Xmas

Posted: Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:24 pm
by paul_1607
susieq wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 1:52 pm
paul_1607 wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:46 am

What do you see on a CT scan then? Or is just just vascular dementia?
A CT scan can show areas of the brain where shrinkage has/is occurred/occurring.
It was my Mum's CT scan which fully revealed the extent of her Alzheimer's dementia - especially in the areas connected with memory.
This is all sorts of dementia? Trouble is GP wont even entertain the idea let alone a CT scan!