Update on Dad - and next Xmas

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136 posts
Paul, it's a big problem, getting some GPs to acknowledge any concern. I eventually wrote to my husband's GP with my worries. Fortunately ( for want of a better word) hubby agreed to go to the doctor with me in attendance. He passed most of the questions, which are nonsense in my opinion, but said the year was 1980! The doctor said he was tired.
It's a battle sadly. You may have to push if you are really concerned. Has the GP said why he won't entertain the idea?
Pet66 wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 2:38 pm
Paul, it's a big problem, getting some GPs to acknowledge any concern. I eventually wrote to my husband's GP with my worries. Fortunately ( for want of a better word) hubby agreed to go to the doctor with me in attendance. He passed most of the questions, which are nonsense in my opinion, but said the year was 1980! The doctor said he was tired.
It's a battle sadly. You may have to push if you are really concerned. Has the GP said why he won't entertain the idea?
Well they know him very well at the GP surgery. Mainly because he is constantly hassling them about something to be honest.

After last time I spoke to them they said they'd discuss it and then got back to me. They said he was nowhere near displaying anything they'd expect to see with dementia.

To be honest, hes spot on with most things. They often mess up his INR (hes on different level to everyone else for some reason) so he often notices and phones them. His bank statement he notices if theres an off entry on there. He never misses anything to do with money to be honest......
Paul
I would just keep observing as much as you can. The signs get very noticeable after a while. He is maybe just a pendanctic elderly toddler, as said on the forum! Not a nice term but true in many ways.
Pet66 wrote:
Mon Jun 10, 2019 3:25 pm
Paul
I would just keep observing as much as you can. The signs get very noticeable after a while. He is maybe just a pendanctic elderly toddler, as said on the forum! Not a nice term but true in many ways.
Honestly, he doesn't miss a thing. If direct debit for Sky changes by £1 he notices. If I've said weeks before I'll do something he remembers. He NEVER ever forgets to take his tablets - hes spot on with it. Even my own wife (who has fibromyalgia and forgetfullness is part of the deal) is a nightmare for this!

To be honest, some of his obsessive behaviour is part of the problem. He remembers and won't chill out and let things go.
Am I right to be a bit peed off here?

OK so Dad calls last week - wants to discuss his options for his knee surgery. I KNOW its another scam to get me to visit - next appointment is in 6 months!

Im busy this weekend I tell him. Wife working. Stuff on all weekend with my 6 year old. So I visit him Friday evening.... Good boundaries laid down here. Once again "NO I wont be able to visit - this is why I am here now"

Phone him sunday evening. I'd been out from 8am to 7pm. All I get is "where have you been?" "I've been stuck in all day". He KNOWS I was busy... "I need food Ive got none". That old chestnut. "You'll have to pop up after work one evening". (will I now?)

I'm off to glastonbury with the family wednesday and next few evenings I can't even go from work, I've got to pick daughter up (Cue the "can't your wife cancel work or something" - you should see him when District Nurse is 30 mins late to see him yet he thinks my wife can do this?)

NO Dad. I will arrange home delivery if you're short of food.

901am this morning. He calls me in work. "Are you visiting later with my food shopping?" NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I tell him home delivery or nothing. I will see what time slots are available and ring him lunchtime. (10 mins later I get a call from brother - I ignore this. Looks like Dad has roped him into nagging me-you can do one mate!).

Just called him. Right you can have it delivered at 2pm tomorrow. "I've been thinking. I can manage until you come home".

Excuse the language but OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then he accuses me of being a bit "off" with him....
Obsessions, selfishness and lack of empathy-dementia. Dementia is NOT all about forgetting things.
It is never easy to "care" for anyone with dementia but you need to find a way of managing your own responses to stay sane.
Henrietta wrote:
Mon Jun 24, 2019 3:25 pm
Obsessions, selfishness and lack of empathy-dementia. Dementia is NOT all about forgetting things.
It is never easy to "care" for anyone with dementia but you need to find a way of managing your own responses to stay sane.
Not getting anywhere with this. Spoke to his GP again a month or two ago - they're sick of me now I think. They have said they know him very well and a number of GPs within the practice all agree that, CATEGORICALLY, he does not have dementia....
Henrietta lived with this, I'm with her on this! Sure GP will be proved wrong in due course.
Hi Paul,

It's impossible for any GP to CATEGORICALLY say Dad isn't suffering from Dementia without any evidence.

Any GP worth there money would at least ask for an MRI scan to confirm.
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Jun 24, 2019 7:36 pm
Henrietta lived with this, I'm with her on this! Sure GP will be proved wrong in due course.
Of course, Im aware that Henrietta has a lot of experience with this....

And I know Dads GP can be completely useless sometimes. But at the moment, it is what it is - they have refused to take it further.
136 posts