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Two Wolves - Carers UK Forum

Two Wolves

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi. I thought I saw that someone had posted a Native American parable about Two Wolves.
I did not read it at the time because I know I had read it before elsewhere but I do think it is worth a second read.

I put Two Wolves into the search box but I still could not find it again. Any chance you could post it again?

Many thanks,
Ralph
Is this the one you mean Ralph ? I googled it for you Image



An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
Thanks Ralph and Susie,

Very wise, I shall try and keep this in mind.

Melly1
Thanks Suzie.

That was the one.

I originally read it a couple of years ago on a website at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/giftoflovingkindness/.

There are many inspired quotes on this site and they are available for anyone to read.

Best wishes,
Ralph
My thanks too. It's a good one Image
...
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
But how do you tell them apart?
That's the problem, isn't it?
Hi Sprinter,

I have only just seen your question.

I first saw this fable on a site for religious quotes and discussions. I take it to mean that if you get into the habit of letting your negative side come out, then it will become stronger. And if you get into the habit of letting your positive side come out, then that will become stronger. (Roughly).

I think that as far as the caring role is concerned, if the caree is someone who is easy to love, then caring for them may be just as arduous but it is easier to handle it lighthertedly. If the caree is one of those dufficult peole who has always made enemies easily and there are unresolved issues between them and their and their carer, the caring may not be any more arduous but much more difficult to cope with.

That's as I see it anyhow.

Best wishes,
Ralph

...
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"

The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
But how do you tell them apart?
So you try and feed the good wolf.
You try to become a better carer.
You try harder and take on more.
You become more tired.
You become more irritable.
You become resentful.
You become the bad wolf.

then you feed the bad wolf.
You reign back on the duties.
You take a step back.
You become a little bit emotionally detached.
You take things a bit easier.
You rest more.
You become better at the things you do.
You become a better carer.
You become the good wolf.

In other words, caring is a bit of a roller coaster and we soon learn that don't we.
Hi Audrey,

I did not see your comments as arguing, just helpig me to relate the fable to ordinary (or extraordinary) life. I was struggling to put what I was thinking into words, anyway.

Your reply has put something into prespective for me.

My wife has had experience of caring for three people for greater or lesser lengths of time.
Two children and two parents. Three of them were easy to love. One of them, is no more or less bitter and ungrateful than she was before she became disabled.

Thanks much for your reply Audrey. It set me on a train of thought that showed me that my wife is far more stoic, courageous and resourceful than I had been giving her credit for.

Best wishes,
Ralph





"If the caree who is someone who is easy to love" ????


Yes, i follow what you say.(I suspect Sprinter did too!? )
But "if the caree is someone who is easy to love"?????
Well in real life it can get more complicated than that. For instance some conditions/illnesses change the person so much that....it might become more difficult to care for them?

sorry Ralph, i am not arguing with you honest, just an observation on part of your post Image

Or looking at it from yet another angle ... the more we love our caree the more we are frustrated and angry that they have the illness/condition and need our help?