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Carers UK Forum • Twenty-something carer
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Twenty-something carer

Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:03 pm
by Clairy Fairy
I'm a 29 year old female caring for my mother. I have been doing this since 2008.

To be honest in 2008 my life hit a brick wall! At 25 years old my world changed so much and since then I became 'mother', carer, cleaner, chef. My mother was also my grandmother's carer so I have taken on that role too.

I no longer see my friends, I drive a mobility car, my weeks are filled with appointments, shopping and housework.

I find that a lot of carers services and help that is available is geared towards either young carers or older ones and i've struggled to find anybody to relate to. I signed up to a befriending service at the local carers centre but the girl they paired me with is only 21, just out of uni with no caring experience and she's only doing this to get experience for her career. Although her intentions are good and she is a lovely person I feel that our meetings are just something else I have to find time for and I'm not really getting the benefit.

I really just wondered whether there are any others out there of a similar age to me who are caring for a parent and possibly facing the same issues I am.

I'm single and don't get the opportunity to meet people, if I did meet someone where would they fit into my life? I had plans to go travelling and to see and do lots of things, which is now almost impossible. I live within four walls, the supermarket and various hospitals and clinics. I have family but they are happy for me to do everything, I guess I took charge at the beginning and have been left to get on with it. I love my mother to the furthest star and back again but I feel resentfull for this life and then that leads to feelings of guilt. It's not her fault and if she could change it i'm sure she would.

My confidence is rock bottom and I find that if an opportunity does come up for me to go out I say no and use my mum as an excuse. I know i'm not helping myself but it's like a vicious circle, the longer i'm stuck indoors the harder it is to go out.

I would love to hear from people in a similar situation.

Thanks for reading.