trying to have a holiday away

[bowlingbun]

Hi Lorraine, have a wonderful holiday - where are you going? I hope mum enjoys her extra calls when you are away, then you can turn on the screws for another similar break, so they get built into your year. It's not just the holiday, it's the excitement beforehand, buying a few new things. I always love packing, going to the charity shops to choose a few books to take with me, planning where to go, what to do, even if it's only a trip to Devon, which is less than a hundred miles away. Have a lovely time when you are away, and tell us all about it when you get back.

[Lorraine Black]

hi yes thanks of to turkey 4 a week but anywhere would have been nice just for a break and hopefully some sun. now at least mum is sorted i can relax and do all those nice bits before the holiday. i think mum will be glad of the break as well she has probarly had enough of me constantly going on at her about eating her food and taking her medication etc etc
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[trippedup]

hey thank you for all your replys have just heard from carers trust and they are going to give mum an extra visit in afternoon to do food, coffee and medication while i am on holiday even though last minute only 3 weeks to go, it proves that if u keep on at them even though they put you through so many different departments you dont know what to do anymore when one says no help available, dont take that answer, its just a shame it could not have been sorted earlier as it is hard work caring and everyone needs a break . its a shame its not easier to get help and getting help is hard work (we dont need any more hard work ) just never take no for an answer keep trying x

My boyfriend and I are trying to have a holiday in Sept/Oct and, although my Mum is in a residential home (so I don't need to worry about food and meds), I'm also having issues with the council and the residential home HQ about funding. I know it's a different issue than yours but all I can say is you were right to keep on at them. They loathe being forced into a corner and will do anything to push you away but, equally, they loathe being hassled yet that's the only thing that gets them kicked into gear. I've got a meeting with one of them on Weds and I've insisted she comes to my workplace (ironically, a hospital) as I work as a temp therefore can't waste hourly pay by traipsing into town and I want her to understand clearly what it is I want from her and her colleagues. She didn't like my "demand" but gave in! In a previous conversation with her colleague (who was very helpful unlike her), I even threatened going to the local newspaper - that made him listen VERY carefully!!!!! My sister and I put in 2 complaints to the hospital about Mum's care post-stroke, both nursing and therapy-wise and, in both cases, were told we were absolutely right and they hadn't a leg to stand on to defend themselves. Again, ironically, it was the hospital where I'm working but you've got to take the work where you can get it. I sometimes see the staff who were involved with Mum and I feel like giving one of them a right talking-to but I'd just get sacked!
Anyway, keep going and remember - as I said to the helpful colleague - we pay their salaries (through our taxes) so they're the ones supposed to help us and if they don't like it, there are other ways and means of getting your points made (oh, and keep records of everything!).

[bowlingbun]

If mum is in a residential home, SSD should have done a financial assessment before she was admitted, and notified either you or mum in writing - giving a complete breakdown of her income and expenditure, showing exactly how they calculated what mum would have to pay.

[JohnT]

Heres one you could try its a lovely hotel that caters for people with all kinds of disabilities and they have care staff on hand to assist in any way for a modest fee.All the staff are warm and friendly and there to assist with anything you may need during your stay including all forms of equipment.hoists etc.The entertainment on evenings are very good.Have a look at the link below.They have hotels in Blackpool and St Annes




http://www.bondhotel.co.uk/

[Lorraine Black]

thankyou everyone for your advice, i am now back from holiday and back to normality all i can say is i had a great break away its just a shame that it was so much trouble to get any help,so anyone that is going through the same just keep on at social services so even like me if its at the last minute they offer,it proves that keeping on at them works, even though it should not be that much hard work and is very upsetting just keep going xxx

[Chris Wibberley]

Would your mum go into a care home while you went away? Would you be prepared to do that. Have you applied to your local authority for respite vouchers for YOU. I have respite vouchers which would basically give me a day off a week or two weeks off a year. We have carers come in to my husband if I'm away for a day or longer but it gives the option of him going into a care home, £12.32 a night plus handing over some vouchers. We would have to pay per night for the care home The vouchers are free and YOUR entitlement.

[Lorraine Black]

hi sorry its been a while since i have had time to be on here have no idea what respite voucher are as i said i have no one to give me information i am just left to it on my own with help from her care team but no advise or anything and i have tried but even our carer advisor from our doctors has not bothered so feel very much on my own am doing well but no one to tell me what help is avaliable xx

[bowlingbun]

Contact your local authority and ask for an up to date "Needs Assessment" and stress it's urgent, or you will wait for month. In my area, when they send the appointment letter they send you a large booklet crammed full of relevant information. Every local authority is different, so we can only generalise, rather than give exact details here, however every LA has duties towards carers. Before the social worker comes, write down exactly how you feel, what is frustrating/tiring you most of all.