trying to have a holiday away

[Lorraine Black]

hi everyone just need a bit of advice. i care for my mum and her sister who are both bed ridden and on oxygen,my husband and i have a holiday booked june (first time away without are children)but dont know what help is avaliable. mum has late stages of copd she has care that come for half hour in morning and half hour in evening but i do her meals drinks medication and just making sure she is ok and checking on her during the day and i am always avaliable for her .have spoke to care trust about my holiday but are not very helpful just said i have to arrange meals on wheels which we we have to pay for ourselves and if budget avaliable they could do a spot check on her, i am an only child so have no one else that can help. am now so worried cause meals on wheels can not check she is ok make her drinks and that medication is checked as with copd everyday is different .I would be grateful of any advice as i need to know all willl be ok whilst i am away x

[Scruffy]

Hi Lorraine,
Just last night I was looking at various options in case I managed to get a break and one of the things I was discussing with a friend was going somewhere and taking mum with me where she would stay in a nursing home near to where I was holidaying so that I could visit her and take her out for days.
I found there are places that allow for this.

http://www.holidayswithhelp.org.uk/
http://www.richmondretreats.co.uk/

The last one might be expensive by the look of them but it shows what might be possible. I had always thought that I'd have to leave mum behind if I went away but I hadn't considered the possibility of her going too and being looked after.
Edited to add this...
http://www.holidaysforall.org/

Scruffy x

[Lorraine Black]

thanx for the reply, unfortunately i did not say in my previous post my mum is ,constantly on an oxygen machine and is bedridden due to other medical problems,and i also look after her sister who lives in the same block of flats who is also partly bedridden and i am the only family member ( oh the joys of being an only child) and just need a break away with my husband, but i did not realise there is no help avaliable and the care trust cant help me, i will have to keep phoning them and see if they can offer any help at all as i am worried that even though she has a morning and evening visit from a care team its a long gap inbetween with no food ,drink, checking her medication and all the silly things that need to be done, and i could not go away in that situation x

[bowlingbun]

Contact Social Services and Health. Has anyone in Health mentioned "Continuing Care" to you? Look it up on the internet and then ask your mum's and aunt's GP to arrange an assessment asap. It sounds as though everyone has been happy to ignore your needs and welfare. Your carees are both vulnerable adults with high care needs and as such Social Services MUST ensure that they are being looked after properly. Whether or not they fund the care may be decided by them, depending on a needs assessment. Under Continuing Care, all help is free, regardless of assets etc.

[Lorraine Black]

thanx for your replys its all so confusing mum gets some help she has a care team that come in half hour in morning and half hour at nite she pays she still has to pay some money towards it , i can not understand this as she is only on benefits and in a council flat so has no assets that why i was so upset that care trust/social services would not help,i have now got to employ someone to go up to do her a sandwhich check on her meds and make sure all the silly things get done that are not silly they are needed so i am on holiday in 5 weeks time and can not even look forward to it. like i said no help or dont know where to go for it . x

[bowlingbun]

Has mum had a formal financial assessment from Social Services? In my area, someone from the finance department visits, asks to see copies of benefit payments, and outgoings, and then works out how much the person can afford. There are discounts for extra heating, chiropody, gardening etc. It might help if you felt able to say which County you lived in, as each one seems to work slightly differently now.

[Lorraine Black]

yes she did but it was a while ago now she did not need as much help then her circumstances have changed so much now, think it needs reviewing, but like i said its so confusing for me dont now where 2 go who 2 speak 2 and when u phone someone u just get passed from one department to another and still no help, i am not stupid but this system makes me feel like i am x

[bowlingbun]

Every local authority Social Services department has to have a complaints procedure. Have a look at the LA website for your area and there should be more information. Ring them up to start with and ask to speak to the Complaints Officer. As time is short, ask for his/her email address, and keep copies of all emails with a separate file in your "Inbox". If neccessary, follow your call and email with a letter sent by special or recorded delivery, to show you mean business.

[Chris Wibberley]

Yes, you should complain. Sometimes that's the only way to get through to someone who understands the system

I complained last year to my County Council about respite care which no one seemed to understand till I complained.

Sadly now I'm back to square one again because the CC are trying to impose care on us we don't want and have withdrawn my respite vouchers though I'm quite capable of caring for my husband, nothing in that respect has changed since I was assessed as his carer. The care plan they have cobbled together with the care agency does nothing for my husband's care and does nothing to give me respite.

Tomorrow sees renewed warfare against my County Council!

Can no one suggest to your dad that you need a holiday without him. I had similar problems with my mother 20 years ago! I know that's difficult but he needs to realise what you do for him.

[Lorraine Black]

hey thank you for all your replys have just heard from carers trust and they are going to give mum an extra visit in afternoon to do food, coffee and medication while i am on holiday even though last minute only 3 weeks to go, it proves that if u keep on at them even though they put you through so many different departments you dont know what to do anymore when one says no help available, dont take that answer, its just a shame it could not have been sorted earlier as it is hard work caring and everyone needs a break . its a shame its not easier to get help and getting help is hard work (we dont need any more hard work ) just never take no for an answer keep trying x