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Time to walk away, bye from Londonbound - Carers UK Forum

Time to walk away, bye from Londonbound

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I am making one of the most difficult decisions of my life but I think it is time to walk away from caring.
I looked after my friend for over 10 years, he died leaving me heartbroken, I never got a chance to say goodbye.
I have no friends now. carees yes but not friends.

I have spent months/years arguing with all these faceless people and they are faceless, you never meet them, but they are controlling your life.
I am continually told to contact social services, but its not about the care, its medical treatment my carees need.
Living on basic painkillers like paracetamal for chronic pain.
Barely able to get out of bed, fed up depressed, multiple health conditions.
They want and need a team of people to help them back into some kind of normal.

And this is advertised in all these strategys and we will do this, that and the other.
I am told contact the GP who will do this that and the other, refer here and there.
NOPE and again its a GP you have never met before making decisions that deeply affect you and your carees life.
It should be according to the CQC, a small team that knows you well, I don't know any of the gp's at all , and they don't know me.
My caree's should contact their co-ordinator, what care co-ordinator, what care, they are not getting any care for someone to co ordinate.
I don't know if its fundholding, it costs money to refer, does it?, I don't know, no one explains, they just refuse.
Doctor knows best dearie in a patronising way.

If I could just achieve something, but the system is just stacked against me, you just need a stroke of luck, the right doctor, the right social worker to just give the right help.

Its years since I did anything for me, always thinking about others, opposite of selfish.
When's the last time I went to the cinema or had some me time, 20 years ago?
When's the last time, someone helped me? I can't even think?

I am a clapped out carer, worn out, exhausted need to recharge my batterys.
Start up my hobby's I used to persue, have a bit of fun, enjoy life and I think that's what all us carers need.
So I am taking a big step back, it's not the caring that's the issue here.
Its the fighting and emails and phone calls that do my head in.

So good luck everyone for the future.
Sometimes it's the only option left I'm afraid. A sad reflection on the lack of care for the carers.
London bound
I personally feel it's the right thing to do. Before you are actually unable to have some life for yourself. Which is very very much deserved.
Come back if you feel you can to let us know how you are.
Good luck Londonbound, I'm very pleased to hear it for your sake at least (not for those you help). It's a shame that your battles have gone the way that they have, but that's how it is everywhere I think.

You did say not long ago that you were stepping back from some of your caring and I was thinking recently that you didn't appear to have really done that.

It can't have been an easy decision, but I don't think you'll regret it in the the long term, make some plans for something that you want to do - once we have this virus out of the way.
Sorry to hear that, i hope you recover from the stress. Do what you enjoy doing and always make time for yourself and your needs. I wish you the best of luck always.