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Carers UK Forum • Three full time jobs
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Three full time jobs

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:48 pm
by Cloudygal
was just reading an article that said a quarter of parent carers work 100 hours per week caring.

That is equivalent of three jobs!

I am sure the figures could be similar for other carers.

No wonder we are exhausted, and have neither the time or energy for ourselves.

I also notice someone has started a legal challenge re carers allowance ..

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2020 6:05 pm
by Joshua_2007
Cloudygal wrote:
Sat Jul 04, 2020 3:48 pm
was just reading an article that said a quarter of parent carers work 100 hours per week caring.

That is equivalent of three jobs!

I am sure the figures could be similar for other carers.

No wonder we are exhausted, and have neither the time or energy for ourselves.

I also notice someone has started a legal challenge re carers allowance ..
That seems to be true but most of the time is spent talking to the person being cared for and doing activities with them. I must admit it still must be exhausting for you and the other people that do this. I wish you all the best.

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2020 6:42 pm
by Cloudygal
Joshua

"Most of the time is spent on talking to the person and doing activities with them."

Incorrect in my case, and a lot of other carers too.



There is a lot more to it than that.




Are you a carer..??

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:46 am
by bowlingbun
Joshua, please don't comment about things you have no personal understanding of. If you have a disabled child, work never stops. Even once they live away from home because our health is ruined, we are still expected to do so much. My son was brain damaged at birth. He is now 41, unable to read, write or do any maths, over 6ft, fit as a flea, hyperactive. When he is with me, I get no peace from the moment I leave my bedroom until I go to bed, exhausted. For years we juggled the needs of our four disabled parents and our son. The stress was horrendous. My husband DIED of a heart attack and I developed a life threatening illness. Major surgery saved my life, but I live with after effects.

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 2:00 pm
by Honey Badger
I do not believe Joshua's reply was intended to come off to some in a negative context though I would say companionship and emotional support for a caree is as important and in cases even more so, than the practical elements of care, and can often be more emotionally draining for the person doing it because you are at task mentally, where as if I am performing a hands on task (washing, changing etc) you tend to be more focused on that.

Most people with a decent level of training can perform physical care safely but to be able to connect with your loved one on an emotional level and prop them up mentally, let them know they are loved and that life is worth living, no amount of training teaches that... particularly in the learning disability community where caree's may only "click" with specific people (usually those they are closest to)

Plus communicating with a caree who has those difficulties and struggles to communicate effectively on top of physical disability who years after the fact still actively grieves a lost parent for example (and can't access the living one who is in care themselves) day in/day out, and needing to stay on top of those mood spirals and remain upbeat, is like having your heart ripped out each time your loved one upset and you make them feel better/happy again you are reliving the experience with them.

Last 6 months have been some of the worst. And it really does lay bare the importance of mental well being.. I can definitely see how those without adequate support might be suffering during all this and frankly it worries me.

I am a stubborn bugger but let me tell you no matter how young/old or determined you are 100+ hour weeks will wreck you physically and mentally.

Best wishes

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 2:09 pm
by bowlingbun
I always used to be able to balance M's care with doing things I really enjoyed, sewing shops, day trips, coffee in a garden centre, that's all ground to a halt.

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:04 pm
by Cloudygal
I think the general public would have no idea of how much we do on a day to day basis.

The last six months, I agree with Honey Badger have been beyond difficult.

I can't believe how many balls I am juggling constantly.

No sign of it easing up either.

What surprises me is how resilient I am.. as are so many other carers.


We are doing a really good job...even if the government refuses to recognise this

BB

No way should our health have to suffer through caring for someone else.


Would love more freedom.

One day..maybe.

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:40 pm
by bowlingbun
When I was diagnosed with a serious condition I asked the consultant why? He told me that "25 years without a holiday didn't do any favours". My husband died of a heart attack after 5 years when we were juggling the needs of all four elderly disabled parents, our son, and running a business. Caring CAN kill!

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 10:52 pm
by Honey Badger
Cloudygal wrote:
Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:04 pm
I think the general public would have no idea of how much we do on a day to day basis.
Honestly, by large they do not. I have interacted with/engaged people from many walks of life (ironic given my social difficulties) and honestly it always came off as one of those deals where you could never really expect a true understanding/empathy with the struggle of it unless the person was themselves placed in the same situation.

The average person simply would not believe the half of it if they were told. Sometimes it is because the person has been fortunate to have had a sheltered/insulated life from the less pleasant aspects, and other times it is sheer self serving ignorance, or gullibility even that the powers that be would never allow such a situation to happen as they have been conditioned as such.

I would also say the state sponsored and slanderous media/press attention of social security/welfare recipients in recent years has gone a large way to undoing what little recognition was allowed to those in the caring role as we were like many others lumped with the feckless/scrounger label.

I strongly believe one of the most damaging things in recent years was David Cameron parading his late-son on national television while at respite with a team of health professionals at the families back while on a respite stay, because it painted an image that persons with those sorts of disabilities were all catered for in that way... if you try to explain you are taking care of a severely disabled person (better yet, several at a time) with minimal to no assistance, you'll get looked at like you are talking out of your backside/lying.

Carers in general just aren't valued... which is the biggest irony as going into the future society will become ever much more dependant on them existing in all forms (unpaid, professional alike)

Re: Three full time jobs

Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2020 12:02 am
by Londonbound
I always say the only way to understand the situation is when you walk in my shoes, be an unpaid carer.

There seems to be these government pictures of an elderly lady with all her family around here enjoying the family time as the carers do everything.
The reality is paid carers just don't have time and won't don't can't do everything, and family's, many elderly just don't see their family, lonely and living on their own.

The GP tells me to contact Social services, do they understand perhaps years ago, his elderly patients were well looked after by social services but there have been such massive cuts in social care.
Trying to explain to the GP in 10 minutes, writing a letter to the GP, just ignored.

And respite that's not provided, you have to pay for it yourself, minimum £500 a week, how is someone with little savings able to afford that.
The rich yes can pay for respite and alsorts of things, but none of my carees had loads of money, could barely afford a new washing machine let alone respite/holidays etc.

There was one man from an advocacy scheme who did understand, he had been an unpaid carer juggling, work, caring, family etc and yes could see where i was coming from.
But the advocacy was only to help me complain about the NHS, could not help in any way Social care etc.
The services just aren't there to help unpaid carers complain about Social Care and often don't have time to complain about social Care, months and months of arguments.

We unpaid carers are just hidden, how many unpaid carers do you meet at the average dinner party? we don't go to dinner party's.

We see Nurses, the uniform, they work at the hospital, we see ambulance drivers, they drive big 20 foot Ambulances with lots of lights and sirens.
Unpaid carers are just not seen.
Sometimes a celeb reveals he was an unpaid carer and that's good raises the profile slightly.

Children in need very good.

How about a similar programme unpaid carers in need, national fund raising, 6 hours of tv on a Friday night.

I looked after a lot of severely disabled people providing lots of services that just weren't available, why not, no one knows, no one cares, people assume that the family's will help, many of my carees just didn't have family's.
I was a chef, electrician, plumber, taxi driver, cleaner, personal shopper, PA/Secretary, mechanic, and many other jobs, caring just isn't about care.

But the government says family's should look after their elderlies, often they don't, won't ,can't.
Perhaps if people could see what we do, a massive nationwide flood of media, the radio, the newspapers , the TV.

I wrote a diary, and it showed i just didn't have a second spare, make time for myself how?, the council has cancelled 80 per cent of the help available forcing unpaid carers to do it all unpaid.