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Thinking of stop being a carer due to red tape - Carers UK Forum

Thinking of stop being a carer due to red tape

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Hi all, I am thinking of giving up my role as a carer due to red tape. I would love to swear but trying not too, as what has is going on with the mental health system makes me :sick: .

A week ago today, i took mum into a mental health unit due to her self harming herself but also the abusive both me and dad was getting. I even had a knife threaten at me!. The police have been to the house twice, suggested I take her in than they do it. twice she tried to jump out of the car as it moving and i had to make a emergency stop.
She did admit in the assessment that she wanted to hurt her self or us, I was present there. Now after 4/5 days the mental health doctor seems to have sorted things out, said mum was a model patient and should have never come in.

I was not at this meeting when he said that as it was onde to decide what next to do with her home or another unit. I have said it a unsafe discharged and so has dad. Even mum social worker/ care manager has tried to fight our corner and a few others that have been involved but no one took any notice.
Mum knows the system and knows how to work and I have been made out to be the bad guy in all of this, I am the cause of it all.

There is more to this story but would read like something out of a novel or a drama. Twice I had to fight to get a duty team to see her but also help but it seemed like we were set up and peed on. One of the main trouble that started this off was in the same unit/ward as her and we did ask staff to keep them apart but it did not work.

I don't know what to do next other than find somewhere else to live.
Michael_1910123 wrote:
Wed Jul 20, 2022 9:47 am
Hi all, I am thinking of giving up my role as a carer due to red tape. I would love to swear but trying not too, as what has is going on with the mental health system makes me :sick: .

A week ago today, i took mum into a mental health unit due to her self harming herself but also the abusive both me and dad was getting. I even had a knife threaten at me!. The police have been to the house twice, suggested I take her in than they do it. twice she tried to jump out of the car as it moving and i had to make a emergency stop.
She did admit in the assessment that she wanted to hurt her self or us, I was present there. Now after 4/5 days the mental health doctor seems to have sorted things out, said mum was a model patient and should have never come in.

I was not at this meeting when he said that as it was onde to decide what next to do with her home or another unit. I have said it a unsafe discharged and so has dad. Even mum social worker/ care manager has tried to fight our corner and a few others that have been involved but no one took any notice.
Mum knows the system and knows how to work and I have been made out to be the bad guy in all of this, I am the cause of it all.

There is more to this story but would read like something out of a novel or a drama. Twice I had to fight to get a duty team to see her but also help but it seemed like we were set up and peed on. One of the main trouble that started this off was in the same unit/ward as her and we did ask staff to keep them apart but it did not work.

I don't know what to do next other than find somewhere else to live.
Move out pronto
Go on holiday for two weeks and it will all collapse like a pack of cards.
The longer you stay there, the less likely it is for mum to get the help she really needs.
What does dad say?
It sounds to me like you urgently need a break.
It sounds like an impossible situation, and I can relate to the difficulty of seeking mental health help. It's awful to feel you have to put a loved one at risk to be listened to. Do you live with your parents?