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Thinking about suicide - Carers UK Forum

Thinking about suicide

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Been now fighting for 3 and a half years, but just not got any help, I have been in mental health services but been discharged as they reckon it's upto Social Services.

But I have just been told this morning by Social Services that if I am feeling suicidal I should goto my doctor.

But I went to the doctor last year who said it was clear I needed help and support caring but it's not his job thats Social Services.

So if I go back to the the doctor I will be sent back to mental health services but they have done nothing to help and can do nothing to help with caring.

It all seems to be about helping the caree, is the person you are are caring for having a crisis, no it's the carer thats having a crisis.

I have just been told to goto A&E, 4 hours in A&E, well what are they going to, I went to A&E 5 years ago, they refered me to some mental health crisis team but they refused me all help because it was upto Social services.

5 Years later looks like like i will be going back to this crisis team, hopefully I see the same member of staff, she insisted that Social Services will help, Social Services have done absolutely nothing to help.

Just seem to be sent around in circles, I phoned up a crisis line, lady was very sympathetic and told me to go and see my doctor, but I have seen my doctor before and they have done nothing.

I am attending yet another carers assessment, but have attended carers assessments before and never got any help.
What should I say at this carers assessment, I am suicidal, no one seems to take any notice, they just fill the forms in and bung them in a filling cabinet or maybe the bin, who knows?

Thinking of phoning the samaritans but surely there should be some emergency based carer help.
It all just seems to be the mental health services but time and time again I am repeatedly told, go to Social Services for help.

Clearly i can't kill myself as who would look after my wife and I think thats what the government are relying on.

But what do I do, I have no support, no support worker, I am disabled, my wife is disabled but there is just no support.

might print this out take a copy to my doctors., don't know what else to do unpaid carers save the government a fortune but just get no help themselves.
Londonbound, welcome to the forum. Image
Sorry I don't have any experience of MH, I care for my mum who has other problems. Please, stick around on the forum. There will be others along shortly who will be of more help than me.
There is always somebody around to listen/read, please don't feel that you are on your own. There's plenty of support here.
Services available differ in regions, it really is a postcode lottery. It would definitely be worth printing off what you have written and giving a copy to your GP and to Social Services. Your local MP might be able to help as well, not sure if this is a route you have used in the past.
Firstly, welcome to the forum. There are many of us here who have reached crisis point during our years of caring, and that includes me. I've been a carer for 34 years, and now recognise when I'm suffering from a bout of what I call "clapped out carer syndrome". Reading your post, I reckon that you too are suffering. You can only do so much for so long before your health gives way. As someone else has already mentioned, services vary depending on the area in which you live. You haven't said why you or your wife are disabled, that's fine, however it might help you through the maze of Social Services etc. if you let us know a little more. Then if you hear what support others in a similar situation get, it might help you ask for the right things. I would suggest that you go back to your GP, and ask him to contact Social Services and INSIST that your partner goes into emergency respite care, hospital OR they arrange intensive support on a short term at home. You cannot be forced to care, you are quite within your rights to say to SSD that you do not want to care any more. Ring the Samaritans if you feel you need to, I know they have supported other forum members in the past.
Bowling, here is the link to London's new member post.

Hello, so sorry that you have been let down by the services that are supposed to be there to help you. It sounds like after 3 and a half years you are reaching the end of your tether.
I understand you that you feel isolated and unsupported, no wonder! Please know that although no one is going through exactly the same situation as you, the people here are ready to support you with information and their own personal experiences that may help to put a fresh slant on things and point you in a direction that you didnt know exisited.
Thinking of you, hoping today is a better day, Shirley
Hello and welcome. I can't add anymore than has already been said. We will help and support you all we can. Thinking of you
Hello London
I can't really add anymore to the good advice of the others, but didn't want to read and not say anything. I care for my mother who has severe mental health problems (so understand a little), and I have been close to breaking point before. This forum has helped me so much.
take care xx
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem ......like many others I have suffered from depression for years made worse when I became a carer in 1997 I have had little or no support from local authorities we / I have had to pay for every thing we have needed ... at long last we now can get free respite care via the M.O.D. S.P.V.A. but have not needed to use it as yet, just knowing the free respite care is available has lifted a weight of my shoulders ...
Hello Londonbound

Sorry you have been having such a difficult time as a carer, but you certainly are right in that unpaid carers really have it tough. I am amazed how you have found the strength to keep fighting for your loved one and yourself, it surely is an inspiration to me. All I can say is keep fighting, because I feel that is sometimes the hidden attribute many carers do not recognize in themselves. I really do hope something works out, its just a matter of time.