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The stress that comes from lying - Page 7 - Carers UK Forum

The stress that comes from lying

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
105 posts
Well, at least in Scotland we get Free Personal Care. It isn't cheap, but it is affordable, its simply a question of priorities. I wouldn't axe foreign aid: much of that is desperately needed by e.g. the Syrian refugees, women, children, old people camping out in dreadful conditions. But I would axe the Trident replacement: cold-war nuclear weapons have no place in Europe and we could never use them without the USA anyway. I have no problem with retaining a small strategic nuclear weapon store in the USA as a last resort, that should be it.
But folks we will still keep on doing because we do CARE and this is what the powers that be want. I often used to think, whilst for the forth time in a day I was stripping my Dad down to shower off the result of the latest accident (not good for Dads dignity nor mine) I wonder what sort of pay rise Mr Cam would give to himself if he had to do this. He really hasn't got a clue what the real world has to contend with. Perhaps if they had to live like the latest reality TV program on the agenda (celebrities living with Benefit Street tenants) they would have more of a clue when making these life saving decisions and I say life saving because lots of us on here suffer Ill health ourselves now due to the stresses of long term caring xxxxx
Scally Elderly people might get free personal care but young disabled people do not. Jenny my son needs two carers - that is why my husband had to give up his job (that and the fact that he collapsed with the effort to both work and care. One mum of another DMD boy said what is the point of medical science enabling our boys to live longer when they allow them only to exist and not to live? What are they being saved for - a life with no rights to live. Image

Hi Eun and Juggler

None of us ladies should have to bath or wipe the bottom of an adult male. I was embarrassed a few weeks ago at having to change a 5 month old boy, my grandson, and his mother was present laughing at my trials.
I never got out much when I was still caring. My last night out was the above daughter's wedding in September 2009! Since no longer being stuck at home doing the caring I now find that I can't go out because I can't eat out, I never know when I will need to go to the bathroom urgently and having spent 20 years caring all my friends got bored with me. The only one I am in contact with is one who recently lost their mother and his helicopters became violent! That friend has moved to a location about 200 miles from here and I don't even have an address just an email and mobile. Seems that maybe Eun's son gets out a fair bit.
It is some life we have signed ourselves up to as a result of emotional blackmail by a Government.
Hi - can I be blunt? I don't think the government gives a 2nd thought for carers or anyone who is not in employment, unless they happen to be pensioners then they are exempt from some of the punitive measures which have been introduced, such as the bedroom tax. Other measures, of course, they are not immune from, such as being a carer. As far as I can see anyone who claims any kind of benefit, whether it be carer's allowance, dla, job seekers allowance, esa, etc etc is regarded as a drain on the economy. As has already be pointed out, the bankers have got off very lightly and the ordinary person is paying for their mistakes year on year as cuts to vital services get more and more extreme. I don't think that perspective of theirs is going to change at all. Ian D Smith sd something recently about his policies changing the lives of those at the bottom radically (not the exact quote). Well, yes, but in a good way?? Even Archbishops are getting upset about how certain groups of people are being treated. Most people are not scroungers, but anyone claiming benefits has been stereotyped this way. I'll vote for the party which wants to bring some genuine fairness back but unfortunately none of them have impressed me in that regard so far.
Eun, your family's situation is so cruel I feel any comments by me are 'unthinkable' because what on earth, what on earth can someone like me say? Dumb sympathy is all I can offer- and what use is that to you?

I think that, perhaps, the generation of your son will be looked at in years to come as the 'worst' time to have had DMD - earlier patients simply did not have much treatment available, so that dreadful phrase ' nature took its course', applied, and hopefully, hopefully, the next generation will benefit from gene therapy and so on, giving quality of life as well as 'mere' life, and even more hopefully, from preventative genetic counselling. But that leaves your poor son caught between those two generations....

Wishing you what little that can be done now for your son - kind thoughts, (apologetically) Jenny.
Er, yes.... Would hate to be in that position myself now, though I have cleaned up some major shit storms in the past. You do what you have to do, that's about it. Unsure what the alternatives are. Do as you would wish to be done by. Thats it.
Personally, I think there has been a 'hate' campaign to soften us up for 'cuts'. Think about it. We are the 5th richest nation on earth, yet all those in power witter on about is how 'poor' we are.
Strange how that supposed poverty is used against us when it comes to cuts, but is not when it comes to defending the pay scale of bankers, etc, including politicans. Didn't they just demand an 11% pay increase? At a time when everybody, and their uncle, was demanding below inflation increases. Surely I'm not the only person to notice a wee bit of a discrepancy here?
Maybe I am? I don't think so? Has a single banker been prosecuted? No! But I bet you some poor git from the likes of Cantril Farm will be instead.
Hi Sussex

I had meant to mention you because I see it the same way. I was a daughter caring for a father and I was thinking of you and a now deceased carer who was in my real life who also cared for his mother. Did I not mention him? If I missed him out I am sorry I meant to include you and him in the opposite position to mine.

Doing everything for hubby is what I do all the time. Yet I have heard comments like "it comes easier for a woman to do intimate tasks" to which I replied "it doesn't come easier for anyone to do intimate tasks".
105 posts