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Carers UK Forum • Terrified about the country and my future - Page 4
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Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2012 10:26 pm
by Maxi
I think,and as ever,its only my view,That recessions,being regular periodic events,happen regardless,and so,theres not a lot of point getting worried too much over such stuff.

I know carers,like me and you,have it rough.That wont change.We try to do what we can.Ive never been at all bothered about what other people get upto re-benefits.If they try for them,get em,live on them (forever and a day,if thats their thing)thats their story.Nothing whatever to do with me.So I dont get all stressed over who is doing better then me."Her down the road",or "Him up the hill".Or whoever.

One thing that REALLY does bug me is the fact when your a carer,and EACH one of us is different,THIS,(as ever,is only MY view.Only MY opinion) The state probes your life if you access any of their so-called support services.I detest that.I like the very minimum to do with government agencies of any sort.I loath the whole idea.

I work and care,because,

A.the benefit system IS poverty.

B. I loath the form-filling,probing,etc that goes with any application for any sort of help.

C. I DETEST Job Centres.

D. I like to work.

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 12:35 am
by malc
i like to work as well but with the alzheimers getting worse i have become the main person in my wife's eyes,no chance of outside help coming in to help,the wife would freak out,and i've not mastered the art of being in 2 places at once yet,but working on it.

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:15 am
by bowlingbun
I loved working, but the sad reality was that I could not work and care - it ruined my health. Now I'd describe myself as a "clapped out carer". I'm happy for anyone who can juggle caring and full time work, for others caring 24/7 the idea that they can work too is dumb. So much depends on the amount and quantity of the support available to you. Caring is work. An employed carer i.e. from an agency, can get paid up to £15 per hour, if care is provided by a family member on Carers Allowance they only get the rough equivalent of 4 hours work (4x£15 = £60). The other 164 hours are, in effect, unpaid!
(Oooops. I edited the initial post and didn't do the job right!)

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:02 pm
by Sianie87
Carol, what you have written is how I feel down to the last detail. I am 25 and to say i am very scared of what i will do when my mum is no longer her scares me to the point that i want to be sick with fear. I understand what you have said. I have no other family or friends. i am an only child. i am terrified of being alone, being forced out of our home and losing everything and i mean everything, not being able to get work and left without anything and no where to go as i have no one and maybe no home. This has been playing on my mind all day and have been crying on and off all day. going into the bathroom to hide my tears from my mum Image . i want to cling on to her so much and terrified of the day why i can no longer do that and i will freely admit i am not sure i would be able to carry on after Image

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:27 pm
by charles47
Carol, Sianie, please see your GPs about counselling to help you to deal with your worries. The problem with worries and fears is that, if you don't face them and deal with them, they grow and grow into impossible monsters you cannot beat.

But you can.

Easy for me to say. Hard to do without help. Counselling can help.

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:46 pm
by Sianie87
Charles, my doctor knows my worries but wont offer any help apart from "happy pills" and Diazapam. I have no idea what i will do. i just keep welling up Image

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:14 am
by cheryl
Sainie you could ask your GP to refer you to this service? although it looks like you can just call in or contact them yourself.
If you don't find it easy to talk to your GP how about him/her a letter, make an appointment and just give the GP the letter and don't be palmed off with happy pills you need support not just a prescription.

http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sites3/page.cfm ... &pid=34579

These offer free 1 to 1 councilling

http://www.gwersylltcommunitycouncil.co ... ervice.htm

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:28 am
by bowlingbun
Keep pushing anyone and everyone until you get some counselling. It took me a while to find some but it made such a difference to me. After 4 people died, a serious illness and a serious car accident all in a short space of time, I knew that I had got really bogged down and had lost my way in life. Counselling helps you sort out your head and your priorities in life. I had some medication for a while too, there's no shame in taking pills when you need them, in the same way as you need plaster when you have a broken arm. It's just easier to see a broken arm! Take care.

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:33 pm
by charles47
Sianie87, you might like to point out to your GP that the NICE (I know it changed recently but whatever) guidelines suggest that psychological interventions are effective in conjunction with medication, but that medication on its own is rarely recommended.

It's worth a read:

http://publications.nice.org.uk/depress ... dults-cg90

Re: Terrified about the country and my future

Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:40 am
by Scally
Carol, Sianie, please see your GPs about counselling to help you to deal with your worries. The problem with worries and fears is that, if you don't face them and deal with them, they grow and grow into impossible monsters you cannot beat.

But you can.

Easy for me to say. Hard to do without help. Counselling can help.
Agree with Charles, irrational fears need to be tackled head on, not ducked, with help if needs be. I'm frightened of a few things too, so I just go and face them head on. Thats why I became a potholer and climber. Just take it one step at a time.

I have a retired friend who lost his wife to cancer three years ago - a keen walker, he went on a walking holiday in Derbyshire and met the new lady of his dreams. I'm not frightened of losing people I love, because I know that there is always someone else I have never met around the next corner. And I'm not frightened of unemployment, because I have had at least ten jobs in the last thirty years, if it flops you just need to pick yourself off the floor and start again. But first you need to get fit, improve diet, and feel good about yourself.

As for happy pills, I'll pass unless in a dire emergency. Once taken, its very hard to get off these damned things.