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Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I am going to see the Practice Nurse on Tuesday regarding my blood pressure which I feel has gone up since I found myself in the terrible situation my partner and I are in.

I have just completed an NHS online questionnaire about stress and anxiety, which seemed interesting, but, my question is.......... as carers, we are all probably horribly stressed by what we are experiencing, and there is no real cure as the stress will not go away until the caring situation ceases.

One can get 'me time' or respite or whatever, but it's not a cure, as within hours or a few days, the caree is back and the stress is back...... :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

So, what do we do to manage our stress?
Mine are , in rough order
Mindfulness/meditation/relaxation techniques
Fresh air daily
Talking with others/friends
Little things : having bath, reading book, gardening, listen music
Eating chocolate (supposedly in moderation)
Alcohol (supposedly in moderation)

Somewhere on here is a thread of mood busters...I'll try to find it
Counselling helped me manage mum, but I didn't live with her. I love my son with LDvery much but can't do anything significant for myself when he's home. The term elderly toddler comes to mind, we need the equivalent of school, guaranteed regular time off. Easier said than done when day services have been closed.
Hi Mary,
I think this is the thread that Mrs A is referring to https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... mood-12505

I agree with BB, when S is home I can't really focus on anything for more than a few minutes, that's why I find them forum so great.

Without my Mondays off I 'd definitely not be able to cope.

Thanks Melly
I thought I had posted the link but the whole thing seems to have vanished.

I think we get used to the stress, we become accustomed until something else happens when it builds up again. We also dont stress so much about other things, our world of interest becomes smaller. For example work no longer matters and as for world politics, the environemnt or what to wear today... all pale into insignificance. Sad but it does help us cope
Erm...taking my frustration out on carpet sweeper?! :blush:

G Fraser_1612 wrote:
Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:15 pm
Erm...taking my frustration out on carpet sweeper?! :blush:

Erm, I know what you mean GFraser. I've taken out my frustration before, pruning a bush, I felt better, but when I looked at the bush the next day ... :shock: :roll: (at least it was one of the neighbour's totally neglected bushes, that was taking over my front garden, and not something I had chosen and tendered..)
I once kicked a carrier bag all round my kitchen when hubby was first diagnosed. Another time I punched his pillow . Felt really angry with him for getting dementia and leaving me! As if it's his fault but anger is part of grief. I was on my own I hasten to add.
I definitely agree that 'everything else' pales into significance. You realise that so much else is just 'small stuff'.

That said, because of the stress levels, sometimes it just takes one 'tiny thing' to send us over the edge, and we react with totally 'disproportionate' rage, which is actually not about the trigger, but the main source of stress.

Personally, I found I also became completely intolerant of other people 'whinging' about 'minor things' and used to mentally scream at them 'Well, I wish I only had that stupid thing to worry about!!!!!!!'

It's such a toxic of anger (as Pet describes) AT the situation, and 'outrage' (re my MIL I was, and am still basically, 'outraged' that it has happened at all, and that it's muggins who had to sort it!) that it's happening to US, and then grief for the person, and for all the things we've lost as a partner (our future), an then the sheer frustration and exhaustion of the day-by-day-by-day-by-day day after day after day 'prison' of it all.....
very old topic locked for usual reasons