I am an newbie -5 months as a 24/7 carer living with the caree but I am learning, particularly through this great forum .
My caree is wife (aged 84) and either does not truly understand , or chooses not to understand the concepts of "caring" ,
"support" and "respite" . Raise the subjects and you will get " a caree is surely entitled to support and respite ". I also face "strangers in the house over my dead body " syndrome . I have had some rest, admittedly, but no "respite" as defined by Carers UK since the start.
Two professionals have advised this approach : 'I am taking next Thursday off so you had better arrange for someone to come in " . Confession: I simply could not do this to a spouse of five decades and I told her I would never go out for a half day/ full day without ensuring a competent person was lined up to take my place , but continuing to stress that I had been warned by people who know that I was heading for a crackup unless I had more support and regular breaks. None of this was actually acknowledged verbally.
So to my questions to fellow-carers: do you think your caree is entitled to blackball anything suggested in these areas and to insist on final approval and has anyone actually taken the approach suggested by two professionals (see above ) ?
Finally: has anyone asked someone from Social Services or involved with a local carers organisation to see the caree and explain to him/her (assuming he/she is compos mentis ) the dangers to a carer's mental or physical health without decent support and respite and, if so, did it meet with success ?
My caree is wife (aged 84) and either does not truly understand , or chooses not to understand the concepts of "caring" ,
"support" and "respite" . Raise the subjects and you will get " a caree is surely entitled to support and respite ". I also face "strangers in the house over my dead body " syndrome . I have had some rest, admittedly, but no "respite" as defined by Carers UK since the start.
Two professionals have advised this approach : 'I am taking next Thursday off so you had better arrange for someone to come in " . Confession: I simply could not do this to a spouse of five decades and I told her I would never go out for a half day/ full day without ensuring a competent person was lined up to take my place , but continuing to stress that I had been warned by people who know that I was heading for a crackup unless I had more support and regular breaks. None of this was actually acknowledged verbally.
So to my questions to fellow-carers: do you think your caree is entitled to blackball anything suggested in these areas and to insist on final approval and has anyone actually taken the approach suggested by two professionals (see above ) ?
Finally: has anyone asked someone from Social Services or involved with a local carers organisation to see the caree and explain to him/her (assuming he/she is compos mentis ) the dangers to a carer's mental or physical health without decent support and respite and, if so, did it meet with success ?