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Such a mess/feel so hopeless - Carers UK Forum

Such a mess/feel so hopeless

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I feel so hopeless at the minute :(. My mum needs permanent residential care. I am young and feel guilty that I can no longer look after her at home because her needs are too great/complex. But now what I am most worried about is that I will not be able to place her into an appropriate care home because the one that seems perfect for her I. E. Has many people with her rare condition, staff understands it and has a wide age range (mum's only 61) has too much of an expensive top up fee-£1300 a month :(

She is currently in a home where there are lots of advanced dementia residents and she is very aware of this and tells me she doesn't like it (but then tells the social worker she is happy).

I have exhausted the social care catalogue looking for homes.... So many are either unaffordable or inappropriate. My mum has a brain injury due to alcohol and lots actually have bars which is not good (I know the care home wouldn't let her have it but imagine being an alcoholic in a care home with a bar). What do I do? I am utterly, utterly heartbroken.

She really cannot look after herself properly at her own home, I know this isn't a safe option, even with carers coming in and out and I need a life... I need to be 26 not 56...
Does mum own any property or have more than £23,000 in savings?
Rachel_1908 wrote:
Sat Jun 27, 2020 8:20 pm
I feel so hopeless at the minute :(. My mum needs permanent residential care. I am young and feel guilty that I can no longer look after her at home because her needs are too great/complex. But now what I am most worried about is that I will not be able to place her into an appropriate care home because the one that seems perfect for her I. E. Has many people with her rare condition, staff understands it and has a wide age range (mum's only 61) has too much of an expensive top up fee-£1300 a month :(

She is currently in a home where there are lots of advanced dementia residents and she is very aware of this and tells me she doesn't like it (but then tells the social worker she is happy).

I have exhausted the social care catalogue looking for homes.... So many are either unaffordable or inappropriate. My mum has a brain injury due to alcohol and lots actually have bars which is not good (I know the care home wouldn't let her have it but imagine being an alcoholic in a care home with a bar). What do I do? I am utterly, utterly heartbroken.

She really cannot look after herself properly at her own home, I know this isn't a safe option, even with carers coming in and out and I need a life... I need to be 26 not 56...
I think you should try and explore cheaper alternatives, its cheaper to pay someone to care for her, when you cant. You need her to confess her concerns to her social worker. I could also express your concerns on her "unhappy treatment"