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Carers UK Forum • Son's Last Session with Befriender
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Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:15 pm
by Gilli
Tuesday was my son's last session with his befriender, who was leaving the service. Someone else will be taking over, but there should have been a period of shadowing, which didn't happen. The person who was leaving was quite annoyed about it and had told his employers so. I must say, I can see his point. We can only hope that it doesn't take long for the new person and my son to get to know each other.

Gilli

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:12 pm
by Scally
Tuesday was my son's last session with his befriender, who was leaving the service. Someone else will be taking over, but there should have been a period of shadowing, which didn't happen. The person who was leaving was quite annoyed about it and had told his employers so. I must say, I can see his point. We can only hope that it doesn't take long for the new person and my son to get to know each other.

Gilli
My son has had three befrienders in the last three years, all employed by us, and all young people his own age he has known for years at school. We call them "peer-supporters" by the way. With most of them I have known their parents for years too - we don't need or take references, and we dont advertise.

Before we had In Control payments we had the agency staff, but they were a rag-tag and bobtail assortment of misfits, I'm much happier now we get to recruit staff ourselves. Change is OK, we all like to change every year or so, and these young people are always heading off to Uni or chasing their dreams, I think that makes it more like real friendships.

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:34 pm
by Melly1
Gilli - sorry to hear your son has lost a good befriender, it is a shame there was no overlap, now you need to induct the new person .... Hope the next one is found quickly and is at least as good as the old one.

S has had befrienders before an assortment of ones through projects and ones found ourselves - it always takes them ages to become confident with S (apart from the latest one, who kind-of new him anyway and has lots of autism experience) and then as you say they tend to move on.

Scally - S, couldn't cope with mainstream and so has always attended special school - so no wealth of peer-mentors from there. Peer mentors are ideal, especially if you have a ready source.

Melly1

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:09 pm
by no1mum
Hope you don't have too much trouble during the transition. x x

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:58 am
by Gilli
Thanks for your replies. Glad your system is working well, Scally. J has no contact with school peers - he was bullied at mainstream school and the special school he went to from there was quite far away from here, with students coming from a wide area, so no opportunity to make meaningful relationships there either. The befrienders he has had coming are employed by an autism charity, so are trained in working with people with autism. All have been good so far, apart from one who I think was maybe a little bit impatient with J. I don't think the transition should be too much of a problem - J adapts fairly well to change - it just would have given the new person a chance to get to know J while the current befriender was still in place. One person appeared at the door without prior warning, introduced herself and said she had come to take J out and off he went! Fortunately she was genuine, but she tended not to let us know if she wasn't coming, which happened a lot. Thankfully, things have changed for the better.

I don't know if the new person will turn up on Tuesday or not - we haven't heard anything. Hopefully we'll hear tomorrow or I'll ring up to find out.

Gilli

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:12 pm
by Gilli
Well, the new befriender turned out to be a former one and rang up before he came out. He said they were short staffed so things are a bit hectic, but he will be J's befriender again in the meantime. It's a year since he last worked with J and said he could see a big difference - for the better.

Gilli

Re: Son's Last Session with Befriender

Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:26 pm
by Myrtle
That's really good Gilli Image