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Carers UK Forum • Some people are so rude!
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Some people are so rude!

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:53 pm
by Boggle
Some people are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo rude! Image Image Image Image Image Image
Sat in a bar today and proceeded to feed my daughter - then I realised that a woman on another table had deliberately and pointedly turned her back to us - thereby (due to seating arrangements) making it rather obvious that she did not want to look at a disabled person whilst said disabled person is eating. Daughter was not eating in any messy way - she is not a messy eater. When she had finished eating the woman turned round again so that daughter was again in her line of vision! After that daughter coughed a few times - and every time she coughed this woman turned away again!
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry that anyone thinks it is okay to behave in this obvious fashion.
I did however comment to my daughter 'some people seem think you're disgusting but at least you're pretty and intelligent' - shame on me - the poor woman heard the comment - and I don't give a damn!!!!!!! Image

Some people can be so

Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:55 pm
by no1mum
Some people can be so ignorant Boggle.


Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:07 pm
by Maxi
Oh,I do despair of humankind.I think its just bad to ever act as that woman did,But,to my mind,it just seems worse when such ignorant downright rude attitudes are directed at a child.

Now,I never thought Id ever say this,think it,much less write it,but your story made me,having just come back from my local ASDA,but,I must,on this occasion,praise that supermarket.I cant quite believe it,but yes,I did say "Praise".

I only thought of this reading your thread.Every week,my caree and I have a meal at Asda.It happens that when we visit there seems to be lots of disabled children,just happens to be .
No one coments,turns away,No one makes any issue.

Indeed there is a very freindly attitude.

It is the customers in the cafe that are the ones to coment upon.They dont make nasty coments.

I think that everyone should be respectfull and should just be nice,lifes so short.Why upset others?.

Im a peacefull soul,and wish no harm on anyone.But,Id happily poor cold porridge over that womans head.Sorry,felt it had to be said.

You can expect a young

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:58 am
by FreeBird
You can expect a young child to stare, or maybe come up and ask questions, but it's such a shame when adults make a point of making someone feel different!
A man who's house was burnt down used to live near me, and he had scars on pretty much all of his visable skin, and the poor guy couldn't leave his house without receiving hurtful comments or being treated differently!

Gets on my wick!

What a very sad, empty

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:42 pm
by nelliejo
What a very sad, empty life that woman must be living. I can only feel pity so someone so obviously ignorant and uneducated Image

At least you have the pleasure of knowing how much your daughter has enriched your life, and will continue to do so, whereas that pathetic excuse for a human being will never appreciate life the way you do.

Good on you for pointing out her rudeness to her - although it probably went right over her head Image

I know whose company I'd rather have at a meal (or any other time) and it isn't hers Image

you know,I thought,a lot,about your

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 5:13 pm
by Maxi
you know,I thought,a lot,about your story,overnight,this morning,today,and,Im still ANGRY.Some idiots are so dam crual and,frankly,beneath contempt.(Can I say all that here?,its really how I feel)I cannot imagine how hourt you must feel,But,all I can do is say,I,for one,feel you and your child were treated with contempt.

It's terrible isn't it? My

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:24 pm
by Penny
It's terrible isn't it? My daughter has no physical problems at all but she has learning difficulties. When people first meet her they are not aware that she has probs until they realise the conversation is not flowing properly.

Sometimes they look completely puzzled and start addressing me instead of her. She might get bored and wander off and then they say "what IS wrong with your daughter?" Usually they're not really rude just being honest I guess.

Only one person ever was rude enough about her to make me want to do something horrible back and that was in a shop and I posted on here about it last year. I have never set foot in that shop since then. That made me feel ill for weeks afterwards and I just couldn't shake off what that woman said. So I have great sympathy for people who get stares and comments regularly. Image

Why cant we just be

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:26 pm
by Maxi
Why cant we just be kind,a smile is such a tiny thing,but,gosh,it goes a long way.

I have to feed hubby

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:02 pm
by NanaNana
I have to feed hubby all his meals. We get stared at too, when we're out dining, but when the other diners see him down a pint of lager and tucking into a rather large steak and us two having a laugh and joking about, they soon stop staring and realise that he's normal after all - just like them.
If they don't stop staring, I just hold their stare back, can't help myself.
And actually, thinking about it, it's usually the older people who stare at us and the young blokes out for an evening pint, who hold doors open for us and ask "you alright there, mate/love?" when I'm negotiating our way through.

And I'm sorry to say that WOMEN are the worst for staring. 'I'd happily change places, love if you like'. TUT, bloody people!

I'm pretty good at staring

Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2010 10:18 pm
by Boggle
I'm pretty good at staring back !

The other week three little girls got the rough side of my tongue - I was in a hurry and walking quite fast as I pushed the wheelchair. Went past these three who were pushing their dolls buggies and dawdling behind their parents. As we passed them they all had a good stare but I ignored it and walked faster - next thing I knew I could hear the dolls buggies aproaching behind us at a rate of knots - these three had rushed after us, past their parents and then raced ahead of us to turn round and stare again - believe me they won't do this to anyone else in the future!!!!!!! Image

Then there was the time that three or four children from the same family followed us all round a shop - delibertely positioning themselves so they could stare - daughter had had enough after a while and so had I - I turned to daughter and said 'take no notice - it's not their fault they've been so badly brought up'!!!!! A short while later I walked past them in the street and the mother was whinging to her friends that her children weren't badly brought up - if that was the case why was I having to do her job for her? !!!!!! Image Image Image Image

It's not only children of course - sometimes supposedly intelligent adults have no idea - one of our GPs is retiring later in the year - in 26 years I don't think she has ever spoken to my daughter so I don't think we'll miss her! A consultant of 9 years only managed to speak directly to my daughter on 4 occasions - and none of that concerned her medical care! Another consultant spoke to her in that loud patronising tone that people reserve for toddlers - and apparently I am supposed to be impressed that he noticed she 'has a nice smile' !!!!!!!!

On a better note - yesterday we went to a post office we use sometimes - it is at the back of a general store. We had parked outside the door and one of the guys from the family who run the shop noticed that we had a new car and came out to have a look - he made a point of speaking directly to my daughter in admiring HER car - bless him! And at least twice a week we walk past a Big Issue seller ( I never buy one - bless him he's got more money than me!!!!) but he always says hello to me and then inclines his head in my daughter's direction and says hello to her too.

It isn't all bad but some of the bad is appalling!