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Some advice needed this Xmas :) - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Some advice needed this Xmas :)

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
i can only echo what everybody has said to you. please don't give up on your studies, the fact that you have got as far as you have says so much.

don't forget you can be a carer in different ways. if you cannot be a hands on carer for your loved ones because of your medical career, you can put carers in place and be on hand to make sure everything is running smoothly. there will always be hicups, thats life, but as long as you are keeping watch, even from afar, things will be ok.

you are obviously a very caring person to follow the career you have chosen and your parents and brother must be very proud of you and i would not think they would want you to give everything up that you have worked so hard for.
If you were my daughter, i would certainly not. In fact i would forbid you to. Image
Hi and welcome - but please don't give up your studies! Your family will be incredibly proud of you using your education and abilities, not just to give insight into their own difficulties, but for many others in the community. You have a precious gift to give to many.

As others have said, caring comes in many shapes and sizes. Some live with their careers while others (including myself) live at a distance. All of us know there are limits to what we can do ourselves and that sometimes we need to involve others and to 'project manage' rather than being hands on...but we are still carers!

Please make sure your personal tutor knows your situation and your concerns. Keep in touch with him/her if you have any hiccups caused by your situation. But please, keep studying for YOUR future.
Welcome from me too...............and please don`t give up your studies.

Pass your doctoring exams and you will always be a doctor, give it up to be a carer in the future and when the caring role is over you the best option for work will be a shelf stacker in Tesco. It really is a no brainer.xx
It is the biggest regret of my life that I couldn't work after getting my honours degree due to the lack of respite. I think you are very right to look at the future needs of your family now, before a crisis happens. I would suggest that you try and find someone not involved in the current care provision, perhaps the Princess Royal Trust for Carers, and have a really good discussion about what the options might be. My mum is disabled, I cared for her with no support for years, only when I became very ill would she accept carers. Yesterday, she admitted how much she enjoyed their coming and going. I think your brother's future should be considered separately from that of your parents. I have a son with SLD who lives away from home now but comes home regularly. Would that be an option for your brother?
It is always a good idea to have a plan B for when you need to start caring - but as others have said, it doesnt have to be caring 24/7. I too still work and care for my husband who has a brain injury following a road traffic accident 18 yrs ago.
And just because you have a plan B doesnt mean that you have to give up plan A straight away. I agree with everyone else - dont give up your studies. You dont know how long you have before you start caring and I know that there are lots of different types of doctors. I think it very likely that you would be able to combine the two.
Also, dont worry about the student loan, my son is just completing a PHD and has 8 yrs of loan now, but he doesnt start to repay it until he is earning, and even then only a proportion of it depending on how much he earns. Much better to get the qualifications.
This is going to sound hard but you only have one life, don't waste it. It is not a requirement that you become your brother's & or parents' carer.
Use your life wisely & live it how you want to live it & not how you feel obliged to live it.
That way you'll be far more use to your brother & parents because the alternative is to risk becoming embittered as you stack the shelves in Tesco.
As something of a PS to my earlier post, we really do need doctors who understand the problems of caring etc. With your qualifications you would be very well placed to "make a difference".