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Some advice needed? - Page 10 - Carers UK Forum

Some advice needed?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
162 posts
Don't use a commode. Get a Porta Potti from a caravan and camping shop. Much nicer for all concerned. It has a normal looking toilet seat, and all the waste goes down into a waste holding tank, which you dose with some special fluid (which smells nice, not like the old fashioned Racasan we used at Guide camp years ago) and about a pint of water. There is also a holding tank for clean water, which has a small manual pump. It separates into two sections for emptying, only needs emptying when full, and is much more dignified for all concerned. I own a steam engine so go to rallies during the summer, I always use a Porta Potti in preference to the public toilets. My mum has a Porta Potti in her bedroom, right next to the bed, with a toilet frame round it, then if she needs a pee at night she doesn't have to struggle to the bathroom. Only problem is some of the carers say they don't know how to deal with it, just trying to get out of another job in my view, but then I'm turning into a Grumpy!
I also have a porti potty too.. but its slighlty too low for mum to use i was going to get a stand for it but never got around to it.. They are much better and cleaner too ..
I think the occupational therapist provided the toilet frame for it, they ought to be able to provide something suitable for a stand.
I will look into that..

The mental assessment is at 3pm today,,, Image
I think you have done a marvellous job. Look at section on Guilt and resentment.Cared for can use enormous emotional blackmail. Start by getting Respite for yourself, for an hour or two, then longer.
I know, I had a wake up call when I got Shingles and was advised to go away for a few days every 3 months.I was lucky in being able to pay for this, but i was called every thing from a pig to a dog, initially.The Care Assistants who knew him, used to'spoil' him whilst I was away and like a child's 1st day at school, once he got used to it, everything was fine.
Obviously, you will do the 'best' job, but it will be much worse, if your health goes and you cannot do anything.Even if she went into a Nursing Home, you could still visit every day and help with feeding etc There is also a personal budget, where you personally employ help.Your Social worker and GP should advise.
All Best Wishes,
Bridget Leech
That was nerve racking.. i am still shaking like a leaf..

He said that its 99.9% sure its vascular dementia

The assesment when very well explained about the problems with mum and her medical records and they also her pulled up some info on our family records as my mum's mum died 1992 she suffered from Alzheimer's disease and she was very nasty according to family but he also said that the women on mums side are more prone to having dementia & mental problems.. He also wasn't impressed with our gp for got giving her mental health checks every year or so as she was in fairfields psychiatric hospital in the 80's for 4-6 years then i was put in care and made a ward of court untill i was 18 and moved back home..

He even when through my records and i was shocked that my 2 suicide attempts when i was 13/14 was on there He laughted at my file as it was only about 10 pages .. i avoid the dr's like a plaque .. But he has suggested that i speak to the gp and see if he can help short term with some meds and also looking into getting me counselling..

They are going to put mum in respite by the end of next week for 2-4 weeks poss and then looking to the nhs to pay for her care and maybe looking to put her in a home..

Off to make a cuppa and calm down now ..
Very well done! I'm feeling hugely relieved for you. Be sure to make a determined effort to do nothing while mum is in respite, don't just do work, work, work. Please. I'm so happy for you. Jill
Wow, thats good progress,for both you and your mum.

Plan something nice for yourself as you will have some time on your hands.

Well done Image Image
Now make sure you do something you want to do during respite Image
Well done indeed.
162 posts