[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
"Irony warning - this is not a serious attempt to offer advice"
You seem like a decent caring person, and at this point you may well feel that a Thunderclap From Above might solve your problems, and a Cleaver of the Righteous offers even swifter retribution, as the Old Testament prescribes to the Tormentors of the Faithful; but then you are probably getting on a bit, and you need a steady hand and an incredibly foolproof method of disposing of the corpse of the EVIL ONE .. so sadly, in the meantime, there is no real substitute for invoking the formal internal complaints procedure, boring as that may sound. I'm sorry to inform you that God has no place in the social work procedure manual, as he has failed to turn up to any of the Social Services Committee Meetings since around AD 0033, - don't blame me, Blame Him/Her.

If you believe in GOD then your options are rather limited: and you may need to rely on FAITH, HOPE, CHARITY, and of course, humility and forgiveness. Speaking as an Atheist, I'm eternally grateful that I don't carry your religious baggage into what is a fairly routine conflict. No, I just figure out what is reasonable to demand, then double it, and be willing to negotiate on a flexible basis until I get a win-win solution. Have you considered using a human advocate or go-between, and shoving your God into your back pocket as a fall back position? After all, GOD helps those who help themselves, doesn't she?
Welcome to the forum. It seems you feel very alone at the moment, caring can sometimes seem like the loneliest place in the world, but now you've joined us, you are not alone any more. Let's start at the beginning shall we? If you could just give us an idea of what is wrong with your caree, there is probably someone here with similar problems who could share things with you. For example, I care for my 34 year old son with learning difficulties, and have an elderly frail mum. Social workers are generally supposed to support people to work out for themselves what is best for their situation, by talking things through with them. They are most definitely not supposed to make your life hell!!! There is no "one size fits all" solution, everyone is different, what is right for one person is not necessarily right for another. So if you would like to give us an idea about what is causing so much upset, we can give you a few ideas about how to solve the problem. It is then entirely up to you to decide whether any of the ideas are right for you and your caree. Years ago, when my son was new born, someone suggested that you read all the "Bringing Up Baby" books and then bought the one you liked the most. Caring is very similar. We are here for you.
These days, grimly, we have to constantly bear in mind that the Prime Directive of anyone in the public services, such as social workers etc, is to Save Money. That's all they fundamentally want to do - to spend as little money (or time) on the taxpaying public.

Now, some public employees are horrified by this, and put a lot of time and effort into trying to actually spend time and money on the people they are charged with providing services to, and they are the 'good' ones. The 'bad' ones simply are motiviated by their own careers, so want to please their bosses so they can 'get on' (and probably 'get on' so far they never have to see another client again, but spend all their time in important meetings about budgets and writing drivel documentation about 'objectives' and 'outcomes' and all that public sector garbage!). Some, too, are simply so bloody exhausted by having a million 'cases' on their books, that they just give in and mentally (and sometimes physically) walk away from clients....

I say this not bcause you don't know it, but to remind you that what we as the public have to do is enter into a colossal Darwinian battle to wrest from the government a fraction of the taxes they exact from us, by way of getting the public services we are entitled to (because we pay for them in taxes!).

Of course, in retaliation, the public sector officials make it as DIFFICULT as possible for us to get anything from them, and indeed design the entire service to increase that difficulty - think of all the incomprehensible forms specifically designed to make us give up and give in - they must save millions on their budget by people giving up in despair when trying to claim their rightful services and benefits!

The art, of course, is to 'fight fire with fire' - but it is hard and tedious and wearing and despairing. But it can (sometimes )be done, and here on this forum are those who have done it, and can share the art of how to do it.

All the best to you that you can get - Jenny.
Gela - please let us know a wee bit of what is troubling you. You will receive kindness and helpful advice and you are welcome xx
I will tell you about it
Thank you for explaining all this.

Sounds to me like you are in need of an ADVOCATE, someone to draw this together and speak on your behalf. Because it seems from what you say that some issues, including perhaps safeguarding issues related to financial matters including the Office of the Public guardian involvement are not yet totally resolved.You certainly sound like you need help.

(Unless I have misunderstood your story)

Would you like me to send this post of yours to the professional staff of Carers UK? Staff may be able to advise you on Advocacy Services in your area and/or have other advice or signposting for you?

If you think this will be helpful simply say YES. Any members reading it, if I am not around, can simply "report" this to the Moderators here who can forward it to the professional staff.

You can also contact the staff directly, I am offering this method to save you having to repeat all of this again,,,it can be used as a starting point for you.


Meanwhile, just want to say I know how difficult it is caring for someone with dementia.
Thanks Dancedintherain.

via moderators.

be patient. I have no idea how long it will take to get a reply. staff busy. But at least we have started the ball rolling.Hope you can find a way to relax a little.

Let's hope the complexities can be sorted and resolved, bit by bit. X
Thank you all for taking the time to care.