So wotcha think about the New Members

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
101 posts
Morning Aud..are you listening yet? Image Image

Re your question..I think there is no real "answer". Depending on what one joins the forum for, practical help, someone to offload to, friendship but mostly an understanding of how it feels to be a carer.

I can only speak from my own perspective but when I was under a lot of pressure I felt so worn down that everything was too much effort, even writing on a forum. It is probable that many that post need to pluck up courage (so to speak) to post about their own particular situation and that may take time.

If anyone can get some help or comfort just from reading without contributing then this place has done a good job - maybe the contributing will come later. Image
In my case lack of posting and getting involved I think may be to do with age difference. Most people on here, forgive me but seem to be 'middle aged' looking after older parents, a partner, or children. I'm 24 and my caree, my mum, is 'middle aged'. On here we have being a carer in common but it's a little harder to find anything else in common. I've found this at my local carer support group too, they have one for young carers (people still in school) and one for everyone else but it's seems aimed at older carers especially when it comes to day trips. Next month's trip is a river boat cruise with cream teas and the following a ceramics class, not my thing at all. The forum is great for getting advice when needed though Image
I'm coming to peck y'a bum malice Image Image

After it's stopped raining Image Image Image
I belong to a few forums but I like this one the best as we all come from all sorts of different situations to support (and make giggle!) each other, but I suppose it depends what you joined for??

(Ferret, I think Malice is safe as it's not going to stop raining Image Image Image )
I think most people think of the Forum as 'constant' and you can dip in & out (as I do!) when you feel in the mood, time allows, want a moan, rant, laugh or support.
You have some very good points actually, Audrey.
I have noticed a few members intro posts having other members question if they are OK financially, obviously checking to see if they are getting all the help and benefits they're entitled to. This might not be what they want and would probably seem to some like an intrusion into their privacy so early on and probably scare them off. I can see that members are only trying to help though.
And you also have a point, some of us go on to detail our own similar ailments/experiences which could do nothing more than pour more doom and gloom a new member's way. On the other hand, I imagine most members are only trying to help by painting a picture that they're not alone and there's light at the end of the tunnel. Indeed, some new members might read other's reply of similar plight and feel better for it by realising they're not alone.

I do think the majority of the replies here are right though that many members come here seeking help/advice about one thing and once they have that, they no longer need the forum. After all, some are simply not interested in making new friends, especially those hiding behind a computer and not everyone likes forums. I also agree that many pop on, look around and then decide it's not for them.

I also firmly believe that, sadly, forums are dying. Why? What's killed them? Social Networking, of course. I used to run a few of my own forums and was admin/moderator/member of several forums, many which used to be very active in their heyday. When Social Networking evolved, particularly Facebutt and Twatter, I noticed a decline in forums. People no longer need forums for friends or to keep in touch with friends they may have made in the past on forums when they can have their own "forum" in the form of Social Networks, ones which they have their own control over.
Personally I think new members should be warmly welcomed but the welcome should be relevant to their post, so if they post about their role and yours has similarities you say, for instance
'Hi, my (insert caree relationship) has (whatever) too', otherwise just 'Hi and welcome etc.'
Or if they post about a particular problem provide an appropriate answer without bombarding them with your own circumstances or indeed benefits unless that's what they asked for.
It can take an awful lot of courage (or desperation!) to make the first post and however much you've looked before you leaped it's the replies to your post that are your real first impression of whether this is really for you or not.
It can take an awful lot of courage (or desperation!) to make the first post and however much you've looked before you leaped it's the replies to your post that are your real first impression of whether this is really for you or not.
I totally and wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Image
There is no "one size fits all" about forums. All I know is that by using my own personal experiences to illustrate my posts, that I have had a number of PM's which have thanked me so much for taking the trouble to write to them, it has helped them enormously. Other "regular" posters have not always agreed with some of my listings, and have written to me in a critical fashion. So much depends on the people concerned. Long ago I was given advice about bringing up baby - look at all the books on the subject and choose the one you like most. Isn't that what forums do? You can ask for advice, look at the responses, and ignore them all if you want to, or take notice of some suggestions.
he,he.I love that about the bringing up baby books.
101 posts