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Carers UK Forum • slowly getting a new routine...
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slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 7:22 pm
by David_1709123456
my wife has made really good progress. Christmas was really difficult as it was the first without her dad. but she made it through, of course she had low moments but even those she coped with so well. She is getting up on time every day, helping out so much more around the house. She has thrown herself into learning how to make her own meals (all be it with the microwave at the moment but its a real start) the washing up is done most days (and if she forgets its first on her list for the next day.)

she has been much better when we have been out. she still relies on me to help keep she safe, but she is trying to hold conversations while we are out and about. Ive seen her spend so many lovely hours with our daughter and they have painted, played tea sets, played dolls, read books and just been silly. I've been going to work my evening job with a sense of peace as she has handled bath and bed time every night. its been such a change.

she says she wants to make her dad proud and make herself proud of the wife and mother she is. honestly im over the moon.

I just need to think of a way to show her how much she means to me and make her see how proud i am of her. i tell her everyday, but being autistic she doesnt always remeber ive said it or she doesnt take it on board because its too routine.

what can i do?/

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 9:26 pm
by Ayjay
That's good to hear, I'm pleased for you.

How about something simple for starters like a bunch of flowers, maybe just some Freesias with a nice scent?

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 10:49 pm
by sunnydisposition
Why don't you make/buy/produce a special personal card. I know it might sound old fashioned in this day and age. I still send cards for differing occasions and people usual comment. How lovely what a nice surprise.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:11 pm
by Elaine
Buy her a 'Willow Tree Angel'. (Google it, lots of varieties). If she loves it, as I do mine, then you can add to the collection. Something that lasts and has a message.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2020 11:21 pm
by Melly1
Hi David,

It’s sounds like you have done a sterling job of supporting your wife. It sounds like she is coping well and managing to be a great Mum despite her grief.

Since most people with autism are visual and literal, I think a carefully chosen and written card as suggested by Sunnydisposition would work. Or you could make a montage of photos of what you love and admire in your wife with captions or interspersed written messages and display it in a large frame. Alternatively record a video of you telling her how proud you are and why, (or even one of you holding up different pieces of paper with the words on - saw this on a film once - very romantic!)

Melly1

PS Elaine, a very good friend bought me one of those - she is holding a puppy. It is treasured.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 9:55 am
by Pet66
David
What a refreshing post to read.
I have a couple of fridge magnets, from my sister, with lovely sayings. Cheer me up. You can get fairly large ones.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Sun Jan 05, 2020 7:47 pm
by David_1709123456
i know a lot of people are proud of her, but i feel like something nice will keep her motivated. thank you for all of your ideas.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2020 8:21 am
by Rosemary_1706
Such a delight to read.

Re: slowly getting a new routine...

Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:41 am
by Sally_17031
Good for you and good for your wife.

I am 100% sure she knows you are proud of her, hence the motivation to get up and get on each day. But what a lovely idea to want to mark her progress in some way.

How about a photo book? You can put them together online and include meaningful captions and comments?