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Latest on my situation. - Carers UK Forum

Latest on my situation.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Today we had the hoist delivered with a full sling. I had had to turn down accepting the bed due to having to move furniture from upstairs to downstairs ready for when the workmen arrive to replace the boiler.

I then phoned the Occupational Therapist to come out to show me how to use the hoist.

She asked about the bed and I explained it all to her.
She wasn't pleased that we hadn't accepted the bed or that mum was sleeping on her recliner. She said 'oh that won't be very comfortable for her' and I said that actually she likes sleeping on it and says it is comfy.

She said at first that she wouldn't be able to show me how to use the hoist if the bed isn't here because the hoist base won't go under mum's bed (the one that was here downstairs when she assessed her). That's when I told her that I'd removed the bed.

I got the impression she was going to create a further fuss and more trouble for me for not having a bed at all now when I'd only moved it to ultimately allow for a bed to be placed downstairs. I can't do anything right according to these professionals.

So she has agreed to come out tomorrow afternoon to show me how to use the hoist which will be to get mum off the recliner and onto the commode.
However the sling is only a full one and to toilet mum effectively I'll need her to have a toileting sling. I am half expecting her to deny us this until after the work has been done. Let's hope I'm wrong and she has some level of common sense to work with me to make things easier until the work has been done and we can then accommodate a bed downstairs.

Being difficult for the sake of being difficult isn't going to help anyone.
Why do they have to make everything so long winded.

Hubby would agree about the comfort of the recliner, he often sleeps on his for longer than he can in bed! Dad never remembers sleeping during the day (mum would never allow that) but he has been on the recliner, sound asleep with a fleecy blanket on top of him and I have been in, done two hours housework, left a note and he hasn`t stirred, despite his snoring.xx
Hi Poppett,
I have bought my mum a thermal fleece blanket for when she sleeps on the recliner. It's a Christmas present. I'm so tempted to give it to her now.

The more I thought about what the OT was saying earlier today the more silly it was because in effect she was saying at the start that she couldn't come out and show me how to use the hoist because it wouldn't fit underneath a bed we don't have !

That just takes the cake doesn't it.
Sometimes I think it's a shame we can't use swear words here, because polite words about this OT fail me! You want the hoist for the health and safety of you and mum and every day you are without them puts both of you at risk. If she had half a brain she'd have ordered the toiletting sling when she ordered the hoist. The bed and hoist are not hers personally, she's there to provide a service, they're not sweets to be handed out to good children!
I agree with bowling bun, words fail me Image but glad at least you are starting to get somewhere.
Hi, I think you should engineer the situation so that your Mum needs the commode whilst the OT is there. If your Mum is capable of being in on this, then she can request the commode, if not ensure she has plenty of drinks before the OT arrives. You can then ask her to demonstrate how the hoist with the full sling will work ...

Caring is difficult enough without professionals listening to the folk who do the care everyday.

OT has just been and now she's saying the hoist can't be used with one person and I'll need carers in, even though both myself and my mum have said we don't want them.
She's not happy that now that there is no bed downstairs mum is staying on the recliner 24/7.
Well this is interspersed with sitting on the commode for some time in between moves.
She went on about pressure sores and how they develop.
She's going to have a word with her manager when she gets back as to how they feel about what our situation is.
She asked if there was anyone to help me do the personal care for my mum and there isn't anyone but I might just try and get my sister to come down next time and say she can do this regularly just to get them off my back.

I said I am trying to get everything done and am getting the boiler done so that the bed can come in. She has pushed me into having everything ready for the new bed by next Friday but I don't think it will be because the work won't be done by then. I'll only just have managed to clear the upstairs by then.

I feel so stressed out and pressurised. I don't know who to turn to who would be on my side. I feel like they are trying to get me to say something all the time that they can then use against me such as saying I can't cope so they'll bring someone else in.

I said that I'd been stressed out by what the social worker had said about bringing carers in to take over from me if I refused to let them in and she said now that I'd raised the subject she had to say that if they're not happy with what I'm doing that could be a possibility.
So that has freaked me out again and I just don't seem able to do the right thing. I feel totally pushed into accepting carers that we absolutely do not want.
I've said I'll bring the bed back downstairs again so that mum isn't on the recliner 24/7.
I check mum's bottom for sores all the time and we have cream to prevent them and she has a pressure cushion.

I just feel they are looking for faults all the time and I'm just so scared of saying the wrong thing.

The OT said she hadn't seen mum stand and that was the problem. ????
Mum can't stand that's why I asked for a hoist in the first place.

They come out and say mum can't sleep downstairs because of the gas boiler.
I arrange for boiler work to be done and move bed upstairs so we don't get our gas cut off when the housing bloke calls.
Then the OT says they don't like mum not having a bed downstairs as she's on the recliner all day and all night. (not entirely true).
I've got to clear the upstairs bedroom to let the workmen do their job.

What can I do ?
Who can I turn to ?

Now it's looking like they've brought in a hoist that she claims cannot be used by one person. Yet I've seen them used by one person on you tube every single time.
Should I go ahead and accept the help which will upset mum and then wait a week and say no thanks it's upsetting her too much. What would they do then ?

Where do I stand ?
I don't know what to do ?
She asked me to demonstrate lifting her off the commode and putting her back on it and she asked me to position her over the hole (the seat was on it). She said hardly anyone can get it right. I was absolutely certain I had, I know the commode well. She said I hadn't and that it was a sign that I needed someone to help me.... this is what I mean by trying to trip me up all the time so they can claim I need other people in here.
Scruffy we have a hoist and yes it is supposed to have 2 people to use it, but I do it on my own and the health ot, the ss ot, the dn etc. etc. are all quite happy with that.
When I move my oh he ends up in exactly the correct position every time because I make damn sure he does.
When the care workers who come in to shower him do it half the time he's in the wrong position! And they don't even see that he's not sitting right and actually in danger of slipping out!

Besides that, what happens when your Mum wants to go and it's not a designated time so there is only you there?
Does your ot seriously expect her to sit, soaking wet, until someone turns up????