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Seriously thinking about leaving the forum. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Seriously thinking about leaving the forum.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I would like to agree with the above posts. BB you are not hard as nails. You are sensible, kind, practical and helpful to so many forum members. You and Jenny gave me such useful advice when I was caring for my mum and husband.
Stephen sorry to hear you feel like this. I too care for an elderly Mum and find your voice useful, so I hope you won't go.

I too have benefited massively from advice here. Particularly from the people you mentioned, (BB - def not hard as nails, but definitely responsible directly for me being in a better position now than I was 3 years ago). And you contribute to that too.

A forum of this type is not easy to run to ensure that a hugely different group of people are not offended or upset. We are not always going to agree. I've always found Lizzie to be kind and empathetic, but she does have a difficult job to do to ensure that guidelines are met. Not always an easy balancing act to weigh up the needs of all forum users.

I really hope you reconsider Stephen.

Best wishes - Sally
Stephen, if you really want to leave this Forum, then that is your decision. You are the best judge of your personal life, your time, your responsibilities as a carer.

But we'll be sorry to see you go.

I was entertained to read your recent post (though I did not respond to it at the time) about an officious receptionist who refused to ask a visiting doctor to give you a flu jab while they were there. "Only a carer" indeed! As you rightly said, if the carer goes down, what happens to the caree? One of the great aspects of these forums is that advice and observations expressed is helpful to anyone reading the post - not just the person who started the thread. Many more will read than respond.
Stephen_16071 wrote:
Sun Oct 20, 2019 1:56 am
. . .
It would be lovely if we had carers in charge of the show rather than profiteers . . .
Lizzie has already responded why the moderators do not get too involved. I am slightly puzzled by what you mean by profiteers. Anyone trying to use this forum for commercial gain does not last long. I have reported inappropriate posts two or three times to the moderators and these posts have been promptly removed. One was trying to use the forum as a free advertising site for a questionable product.

Come to that, I have had one of my own posts censored by the moderators - apparently a comment I made was too blunt and could have caused upset. It shows that Lizzie and Michael are on the ball and doing their job. It is true, I can be quite blunt when I am trying to drive over a point. I generally re-read my posts after drafting, and sometimes soften the language. And this brings us to another point made.
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Oct 21, 2019 9:31 pm
. . .
Don't think of me as "hard as nails", just think of me as sticking up for the "under dog", because surely that's what we carers are?
I could not have put this more succinctly myself. I am saying this for the benefit of anyone reading this thread.

Bowlingbun has had a tough life and spent many years looking after many carees. She has encountered countless problems and learned how to overcome them. We should be overtly grateful to her for giving us the benefit of her experience. I frequently feel humbled by sheer volume of her practical experience and knowledge the workings of social services, the Health Service and other caring-related organisations. I don't know how she finds the time to be a carer and also such a prolific contributor to this Forum.

I think that, like me, she sometimes uses firm language to drive home a point. There may even be a difference of opinion on occasions. That is healthy; we can examine various points of view and decide which best suits our individual circumstances.
This thread is now locked as a result of a forum member reporting a post that breached our Community Guidelines which has now been removed. As a prerequisite of joining our forum, forum members agree to follow our Community Guidelines and be respectful. I've copied the below points from our Community Guidelines as a reminder for everyone:
Our volunteer moderators will be looking out for any posts which do not follow the forum guidelines and will remove them if necessary. They will inform the staff team if the see any posts which:

• contain insulting personal remarks, are offensive, abusive or libellous or act in a way to cause harassment
• make comments that misrepresent or damage the reputation of Carers UK, whether on the Carers UK forum or on any other public forum or site
• are not constructive to the overall purpose and mission of Carers UK