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Helpless - Carers UK Forum


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.

I am a carer for my husband who is disabled has head injury and PTSD. I also now have a 16 yr old daughter with PTSD and depression, I have a 13 year old daughter and now work four days a week. We have had a difficult time since my husbands accident in 2007 but our lives were turned upside down when we found out my 16 yr old suffered an sexual assault which she kept secret for 4 years and the last two we have spent waiting for trail to which saw this creature sentenced to 25 years, but I am struggling to cope with the ups and downs of her moods swings, she is indenile that anyone can help and that any thing is wrong but underneath she knows she not ok. She smoothers me when I am at home and I am the only one she talks too or grunts at. Now at college she is struggling and there is only do much I can go now she is 16. Trying to get her a grant for support but hitting brick walls and trying to get her to talk to counseller but she wants me to go in with her but there not keen.
I am emotional and tired love her to bits but when she's ok the husband isn't its a viouous circle.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it's so difficult when you have more than one person to care for. If your daughter wants you to go to counselling with her, surely the counsellors could work with you for the first week, alone, so you know what to expect and how to respond? She's been through an ordeal, some girls might not want mum there, but yours does (and that's a huge compliment to you I think). Have you asked the local authority Children's Department (Social Services) if they can help? My daughter in law's sister is a rape counsellor at court, could they help? One of the problems about making suggestions is that services are arranged differently, and called different things, depending on where you live. I do hope your daughter can find someone she can trust enough to help her come to terms with what has happened, it's so sad when a girl has such a bad experience.
Hi Monica...such a heartbreaking situation for you all and I'm sure you must be emotionally exhausted as well. As your daughter feels that she is able to lean on you it seems an enormous pity that the counselling service aren't happy with you attending too. Have they given any specific reason why that is the case?

Bell x
I realise you have been in the 'system' for some time now if trial itself over. Was there anyone throughout supporting you that you could contact again?

There is also this...it may help you to talk to someone. I know via phone not ideal but its a start and they may know of further support local to yourselves.

Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre freephone helpline:
0808 802 9999

The helpline is open 12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day of the year, providing support for female survivors, partners, family and friends

More information on this link
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexualhealth ... sault.aspx
Thank you for your replies. Were now heading for psychiatric doctor re medication.
Then Cognitive behavioural therapy when in a happier place. Support these days is limited due to the government cut backs as we all know.

Just typical I've caught a cold days before my unpaid careers away day so might miss it.

I hope things start to improve for you all before too long.