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Respite Care - Carers UK Forum

Respite Care

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I am sure somebody can help with advice over the question of respite care. When at meetings for newly diagnosed dementia patients and their carers we were definitely told that a Carer's Assessment should be asked for and this would be about the needs of a carer (health) and not the caree, and that all carers are entitled to respite with a smallish charge being made for the caree to stay for a week or so at a care home, or go to a day centre. My doctor is writing to Social Services to say that I must have a break. When I rang Social Services today I was told that it is based on the condition of the caree, whether that person has savings over a certain level and whether s/he needs full-time caring. The person I spoke to was only interested in my husband's condition and not mine. Not the same thing at all! Obviously I do not expect preferential treatment, but the advice does not tally. They wanted to do the assessment over the phone so I said I would ring them back (after I have consulted with everyone on the Forum - which I didn't add!!) as it didn't seem right to me and I felt they were going to turn it down whatever I told them.
I was informed during my assessment that i should have , so many weeks respite , weekends off even day care , all of this care was to give me a "rest" BUT WHEN WE ASKED ABOUT THE DAY CARE, RESPITE and other help i was informed that we would have tp pay for everything ,,, just because they say you need respite or days/wekends off that they will pay for it ...
Nothing is free this day and age , people seem to think that carers and the persons they look after are made of money !!!
A carers assessment should be soley regarding the needs of the carer. It would be very beneficial to you to keep a 24 hour diary of every thing you do as a carer, from when you get up in the morning till you go to bed, and during the night, if you have disturbed sleep due to your caring responsibilities. Everything you do as a carer should be recorded, to give social services an accurate account of what is required of you for the person you care for. After all, if you were not there someone else would have to do what you are doing.
Personally I found it to be a bit of both. Obviously the worse the Caree is, the more worn out the Carer will be. That is either physically or mentally.
You are right to refuse an assessment over the phone. Make an appointment for them to visit you to do the assessment. They will go away and discuss what needs you have and (hopefully) come back to you with it in writing.
Let us all know the outcome, please? Image x
Face to face assessment is vital. Threaten - nicely - to quit, say you have met a new partner on the internet and want to run away to Blackpool together/ been offered a new job/ want to study at Uni/ or just retire from the fray, and that you will be forced to stop caring unless you receive support.
Its a negotiation: like any form of trade-off, you need to understand that you hold at least half the cards, maybe more. Go figure how much it would cost them if you really did quit.
We dont realise how many carers really do quit - the answer is lots. Dont be a doormat, negotiate!
Whatever their policies you have a right to a face to face interview for a Carers Assessment, because using a telephone isn't always possible. What if you're not comfortable talking on the phone, or you have an old-style phone that's out in the hall and it's draughty and cold? What if you cannot stand at the phone and are too frail yourself to take a chair out to it? Arthritic hands? Lots of possible issues.

If they refuse, ask to speak to their manager and ask how their policy applies within the Equality Act 2010? Why should carers be treated differently to "service users"?
Thank you everybody for all your help. I will start keeping a diary this morning of everything I do and certainly, now it is pointed out, will say that I need a face to face interview and not just answer questions on the phone as I am not comfortable with speaking freely in front of my husband, for one thing. It is too easy to be fobbed off when the person asking the questions does not have to engage personally.
I am really grateful to have this opportunity to ask the Forum for their advice and experience - I would feel isolated without you.
Thank you everybody for all your help. I will start keeping a diary this morning of everything I do and certainly, now it is pointed out, will say that I need a face to face interview and not just answer questions on the phone as I am not comfortable with speaking freely in front of my husband, for one thing. It is too easy to be fobbed off when the person asking the questions does not have to engage personally.
I am really grateful to have this opportunity to ask the Forum for their advice and experience - I would feel isolated without you.
Please also make notes of who and what info they give you dont let them jst fobb you of say you know your rights as a unpaid fulltime carer and your carees right they will most notably come to your home in 2 s they normaly do when they know there is a carer (muggins) in situ they do the bare minimum, ps sorry for the swaring in advance, they will try and bullshit you, fight them and tell them what you want or else they will have to lookafter your husband.

They really doont want to help or support you but just patronzie you with niceties please dont give in to them they think if they say you will just go away you do not on your nellie.

Sorry for the tone but thats the gravity fightme all the way for service. kenneth2nowfife Image Image Image Image

say you know your rights as a unpaid fulltime carer and your carees right they will most notably come to your home in 2 s they normaly do when they know there is a carer (muggins) in situ they do the bare minimum, ps sorry for the swaring in advance, they will try and bullshit you, fight them and tell them what you want or else they will have to lookafter your husband.

They really doont want to help or support you but just patronzie you with niceties please dont give in to them they think if they say you will just go away you do not on your nellie.

Sorry for the tone but thats the gravity fightme all the way for service. kenneth2nowfife Image Image Image Image
Does it work for you, Kenneth? I've always found that when dealing with people in positions of real power, the best kind of fist is retained within a velvet glove, so I bring out the chokkie bikkies first, and try to find common ground.