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Respite - Carers UK Forum


Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Hi I'm going on holiday tomorrow after six month stint of caring need the break big time but feel so guilty for leaving mother in law behind. She's stressed and insecure tell me she'll be fine. I did my reseach and picked a good place but feel like im abondoning her.
Please don't feel guilty! You are not abandoning her. Where will you be if you don't have your break? Sounds like you've researched and found a caring place.
I understand the feeling re abandoning, Have it every time I leave Hubby in the nursing home. Needs must though. Definitely you need the holiday.Please please enjoy it
Don't feel guilty. How many weeks is it since you last took a break? You have earned every second of your break. Feel proud that you have helped mum for so long. Enjoy yourself.
Hi Gwen
I felt the same the first time I went away on respite. The second time I felt it less and the third time less still. Now I run to it gleefully and very very fast :lol: :lol: :lol:

Does help that I now know my caree is well looked after in my absence
Hopefully it will be the same for you too
Xx MrsA
Gwen, if your MIL is going into respite care home while you are away on holiday, think of it as her going away on HER holiday! A good care home is like a hotel! They are waited on hand and foot, meals are all provided, and there is entertainment laid on every afternoon. There is company and activities and really, it is like she is on holiday as well. Good care home staff are lovely! The ones at all three of the care homes my MIL has been in (as her dementia worsened) have ALL been lovely. They 'cosset' her and are always 'on call'.

Of course it's natural your MIL will feel a little apprehensive, but I'm wondering whether you can time her respite period to start a little before your own, so you can help her 'settle in' that first day at least??

Forgive me if I've got hold of the wrong end of the stick and it's not her going into a home while you are away.

As for yourself, enjoy, please, this well deserved break.
Hello Gwen

please go away on your break and forget the guilt - you NEED this break ! Oddly enough I found that my Mum really enjoyed her respite time :) She had lots of company of people her own age, staff waiting on her hand and foot, daily entertainment etc - she thought she was staying in a 5* hotel !