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Wh Cares - Not Social Services! - Carers UK Forum

Wh Cares - Not Social Services!

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
This is probably turn into a rant but I will try to restrain myself.

I think I can safely say that the last three months have been the hardest for a longtime if not ever.

My mum, who it have been caring for for the last four years had a fall mid July resulting in a 999 call. She is 91, has a arthritic hip and memory issues (dementia). The first heart stopping moment was that she has broken her femur and needed an emergency operation. A big worry for someone of her age but she is a fighter and got through all the meds and results of meds on the digestive system and was sitting in a chair smiling and laughing within two weeks. As she was on an acute ward she needed to be moved to rehab which we only found out at the last minute was not in the same hospital but their sister hospital. I hasten to say that the initial hospital is a good 15 mile trek from home and the second one was another 5 miles away but so long as they got her better who cares.

Then the delays started. Apparently when she arrived in rehab they found her injured leg was considerably shorter than the other, something not noticed or indeed apparent at the first hospital. She was the. Left lying in bed for a week whilst they decided whether it was anyone's fault and what they could do about it. Deciding it was just one of those things they then started rehab the following week having left her lying in bed with no manipulation at all. Surprise, they found they couldn't do any rehab and promptly gave up within a week. I should add that during these two weeks she was in a room by herself with no stimulation other than a clock right in her eye line. I was unable to visit her for,the first first days because I had a dreadful cold and they wouldn't let me in.

That is the bag round now to the rant. After deciding rehab was not an option the hospital wanted to get rid of her so they called a meeting with family, medical and social worker. Options were discussed and it was decided much to my sadness that mum would need much more care than I could provide and would need to be discharged to a Nursing Home. That was six weeks ago. Since then the social worker has said that they couldn't give us options for care homes until the hospital did an assessment. We then chivvied the hospital along and two weeks later there was another meeting going through the assessment and approving. The social worker then couldn't do anything because they needed written confirmation from the hospital which was finally sent two weeks ago.

Hurray we thought we can start getting mum properly cared for but no because, apparently, Nursing Homes are as rare a hen's teeth. My mum does not own her own property so what social services actually mean is they can't find one in their budget.

Now as I mention, mum is 91 has just been a dreadful experience can only be visited by me because my bothers live miles away and I can only make short visits to the hospital because I am looking after her elderly and pining dog. Hopefully from this description it would occur to the reader that I would not want mum to be very far away from me so we were jubilant when SS did come up with a,local nursing home which we viewed and thought was ideal. Obviously we wanted to make sure so we had a second look before requesting an assessment. Job done. But no, I found a message on my mobile from the relief social worker who has taken over from the original who has gone to get married (news to me) that the nursing home had given the bed to someone else. When I got the message I called to find social work number two only works morning so I had to talk to social worker no 3 who not knowing me or my mum gave the general impression that she couldn't give a shit. Apparently the hospital that the health authority decided to send my mum to is outside of their zone but as mum's home is in their zone they have the legal responsibility. Now I didn't realise that finding a nursing home was like finding a house and that you could lose out but apparently this does happen so I sadly accept. However, did any of the social workers warn us of this? no. Did they, once it had happened discuss our options in term of waiting list and interim care homes? no. All they did was give us two more nursing homes to view which are nearly as far if not further than the hospital she is in, one of which has a dreadful Cqc. And one of the names the social worker didn't know and gave me a vague address and local which I had to look up. This was after stating that that one would be okay provide my mum wasn't a wanderer! She isn't, she can't walk remember.

The options I have mentioned have been discovered after research. If anyone else has any suggestions I would be grateful. We are now approaching nine weeks in hospital, six of which have been just waiting for somewhere to move to.

Sorry I said it would be a rant but how much better do I feel for writing it.
Hi Maureen
I'm sorry to hear what your mum has been through. This struck a chord with me as Dad fell down the stairs last year breaking his tib and fib aged 87 at the time. He was in hopital for 2 weeks in various departments undergoing treatment and then sent out to rehab where he remained for just short of 100 days. I looked into the funding side of it and there seems to be a 100 day limit rehab once in a lifetime. I am sorry they seem to be reluctant to care for your mum .
I was fortunate that they kept Dad as long as they did despite his eagerness to leave. I thought with funding issues that the nursing care element had to be funded by the NHS.
Just dug out the web page I saved
It does say the hospital has discretion whether to admit patient or not which seems a bit strange. It could be that your mum's hospital is buying time making sure something is in place for when the 100 days expires? They kept telling Dad he might be out next week for over 2 months towards the end of the stay.
I don't have any practical advice, Maureen, as it's not something I've any experience of but did want to say I'm so sorry you're having to cope with all of this as well as worrying about your mum and looking after her poor dog. I know you said your brothers are too far away to visit very often but can they take on some of the 'admin' type stuff so you aren't having to deal with it all on your own?

I hope you get some support with it all soon, sounds very difficult to cope with.