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Lazydaisy Online
- Member

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- Posts: 5820
- Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 5:36 pm
Sun Dec 21, 2008 10:33 am
I have done both; worked and been a Carer, plus stayed at home to be a Carer. I am not at home out of choice. I had to give up, and I resent having had to give up my job,but I do believe that I am doing more than a fulltime job at home.Last week, i gave up a day for my nondisabled daughter, due to her car accident, I thought I would have a nice peaceful weekend doing bits and pieces of housework, and gettin ready for Christmas. It didn't work out. My son woke up yesterday morning quite poorly, we thought it was a tummy bug, but seems to have calmed down and be a heavy cold. Due to his diabetes, even when he is ill, he still has to have insulin, and blood tests, plus he has to eat, otherwise he would end up in hospital. On top of that,because I have been up most of the night with him, when my husband came downstairs this morning, I had forgotten to move a blanket, and he slipped,jolting his already painful back.
I don't think I could go back to being employed, as that would be more pressure if one of my family was ill, or other unexpected circumstances occur. A few years ago,my dad was living at home, 10 miles from us, and my aunt phoned up, to say that they could not get an answer at his door, or the phone. It was 9pm, my children were in bed, I could not afford to go across the toll bridge, so needed my husband, who is able to get across free as he is disabled, so we had to call a friend, and ask her to come and stay with the children.(My brother lived in the same town as my dad, but when I phoned him and asked him,he refused to go out at that time of night, and said he would check up in the morning.)
I think that alot depends on how much support Carers can get from family and friends. Over the years, many have dropped by the wayside, and our firends now tend to be those who are also parent carers so cannot do anything in an emergency,as they are already committed.
I am not a Carer through choice;this life has been handed to me, and if I had been able to carry on with nursing, then I would have. I hate having to go cap in hand to Social Services, DSS, or charities to ask for help, and I dislike the stigma of living on benefits.
I don't want to return to nursing, as I could not give total commitment, and that is the point. Others would start resenting me if I needed time off for caring,I would have to have certain amount of time off for appointments, some at very short notice, so would be a very unreliable employee, even though I would want to commit to my job.
I am enjoying reading the points of view of others on here, as everyone is so different.
Oh and by the way, when I am feeling low and think I can't go on much longer, then something lifts me up. Last night, my son needed me to bath him, as he wasn't well enough, but he wanted a bath. When I washed his hair, he said "aah, that's better, my hair was all sticky and sweaty."Yep, I might not have asked for this life, but a comment like that is what keeps me going.