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Remember ... - Carers UK Forum

Remember ...

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I have been 'officially' caring for my mum for the past two years, although in reality it has been much longer. Caring is a 24/7 job (that entitles me to £62.10 per week in Carer's Allowance - no living wage applies to carers, despite the fact that the country's infrastructure could not cope without us). The role of carer requires patience, dedication, perseverence and a multitude of other personal attributes and the need to administer medical assistance, to be an advocate for the cared-for person etc etc .. the list is endless. It is a lonely existence - friends stop bothering with us when they realise we can't go out for a drink or to the cinema at the drop of a hat or do the things they invite us to do with them when they want us to. Personal relationships suffer too, as we can't spend as much time as we would with our loved ones. Very few people understand our existence ... I say existence as it is not a life we have, merely a way of life - an existence. We don't take care of ourselves as we should - all of our time and focus is centered on the cared-for person who is the centre of our world, so we neglect ourselves. It can't be helped, it's just the way it is - only other carers understand, they have been there too. Caring is hard, there is no doubt about it, but it can also be a very positive and rewarding experience (or vocation, in many xases).
Take a moment, dear fellow carer, to remind yourself that you are awesome - you do a wonderful job (if you are like me, you will beat yourself up if you feel as though you have not been able to achieve all you set out to do on any given day - but it happens, tomorrow is another day and a blank canvas) ... and even if it is just a few minutes to read an article in a magazine or listen to a song or to sit quietly with your favourite drink, please try at least to take some time out for yourself whenever you can ... it really does help. Remember - you have needs too and you deserve to be kind to yourself. Thank you for reading and take care.
Hello. What a lovely though you have sent to us. You must take care too and thank you xx
Thank you @Pet66, that means a lot :)
Hi Mary,
Welcome back.
What a lovely post, thank you.

Hi @Melly1 and thank you for your kind words, means a lot. Have a lovely day and take care.
Hi Mary, welcome back. On facebook, I get regular sayings etc. from a "Mentors" site. Recently one poster said you can't give from an empty vessel, so true. Sometimes it's much better to forget the housework and have a long bath and an early night, if you are tired.
Are you getting any help at all caring for mum? You are now two years old than you were when you started, and mum probably needs more help now, so be sure to ask Social Services for a Needs Assessment for mum and a Carers Assessment for yourselves, to find out what is available locally to support your caring role. It's not an admission of defeat, because the more help you accept, the longer you will feel able to care for mum.
Hi @bowlingbun and thank you for your thoughtful comment - I have sent you a private message (I think - I have never done it before) ... I appreciate your advice, so thank you again and take care.
What a lovely posting and oh so true xxxx
@JHR57 thank you ... I appreciate your lovely comment and your kindness. Have a good day.