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Please help urgent - Carers UK Forum

Please help urgent

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Have two autistic boys, one 12 the other 14. We are getting constant grief from neighbours abotu how noisy they are and its got very intense and we feel threatened. Constantly being told we should move and how everyone hates us. We try to keep them quiet but when they are happy and playing in the garden they get excited and they want to be outside in the nice weather. Im exhausted, my wife is getting ill through this and we feel imprisoned and scared. Can anyone help?
Hi Tim,

Sorry to hear about your neighbour problems. I suggest dialogue is the best way to avoid escalation, which is obviously very distressing for your wife and yourself. Your council may offer a neighbour mediation service and may be able to offer advice on how you might manage this difficult situation and in some instances may try and engage with your neighbour to help them understand the situation and help improve relationships.

Best wishes,

Thanks Gavin,

Social workers coming around tommorow for a chat but she says the boys are doing nothing wrong as do the police who i checked with. However she will arrange a meeting and try to calm things down. We cant move, cant afford too plus its our own home so we are stuck and it feels like we are under siege. Defintely case of seriously low morale here these dyas.

cheers Tim
Hi Tim,

Like Gavin says your local housing dept should be able to help. After quite a few high profile stories over the years, most will act to try get things to settle down.

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sorry but your neighbours r uneducated twits who need social serives or some one to put them right, tis sort of thing makes my blood boil, hence why i like the above t-shirts on ebay.
I really hope this does get sorted for you, children no matter wot make noise- amy got toldoff for singing too loudly in the garden- my replie was "she can also do phil collins , howard jones and a spot or erasure if u dont like dolly parton now get out my face and leave her be, she isnt swearing or being offensive, shes singing 9-5 i admit badly but she isnt hurting any one!" we havent had any other complaints
Well i agree that kids can be noisy it is about balance.
That includes accepting that it is a problem to the neighbours.
They to have a right to a reasonable standard of life and if a noise problem is effecting it then there has to be a solution.
Equally they have to accept that there is to be expected some noise from anyone who has a family.
If i lived next door to someone who did have kids who made a lot of noise i would NOT accept that i simply have to put up with it.
As to anyone who is about to say there kids have a right to play in their own garden with any right comes a responsibilty.
Sorry if this offends but i do get irked at people who seem to think that kids will be kids and thats it.
Kids will be kids but it is a question of managing the situation to the satisfaction of ALL.
Not just one party
Hi Tim, I don't have any new advice for you, just hoping that you can all resolve this very soon, you have enough to worry about without trouble with neighbours.
Have to admit, I love to hear children being happy.
When mine were young, there were lots of children in our street and the one which backs onto ours, and all year round we would hear children playing. This year for the first time in a long time, I have heard children again out in their gardens.There are lots of elderly people in our street too, and nobody ever complains.
If children are in their gardens, they are not playing out in the streets or wandering somewhere away from their families.
Neighbours talk over the garden walls where I live too,perhaps we are just fortunate. We have lived in the same house for 22 years next week, and six out of the ten closest houses still have the same neighbours as when we moved in.

I hope that you have some luck. Even if children do not have disabilities, they are likely to be noisy especially teenagers. when they have mates in the garden, day and night!Your neighbours don;t know how fortunate they are, as they could have a lot worse than noisy youngsters.

Pixie, I love the teeshirt logos Image
I don't mind other folks kids playing in their OWN gardens or in the park up the road but what I strongly object to is when they swing on our whirly (the washing line), run up and down our garden throwing eggs at the window (an absolute b*gger to get off the glass as if you use warm water it scrambles the egg), or steal anything that is left out there - such as my sons football, bird feeder, weather station etc.

I can't have pots with nice plants in as the brats will simply vandalise them for badness. They also set fire to our fence one year and the following year came back and kicked the fence down whilst staring us straight in the face daring us to go out and sort them out.

You call the police who come out long after the little sods have gone and tell us we should just close our blinds and ignore them?!!!? I tell you there are times when I long for a roll of barbed wire and a shotgun!

We had one brat standing on the back of my sons electric wheelchair while his brother rammed the wheelchair into the man across the road's garage - the police wanted to prosecute my son!!! An elderly lady living across the road saw all that went on and told the police - the brats hounded her out of her home!

So I see it from the other side - as the victim of other peoples "little angels", Let me tell you it is no fun.

eun id cattle prod the lil darlings!

i dont like it when kids show off and r doing the noise for attention (because they dont like being cattler prodedded or the kinder option having a water ballon lobbed from my bedroom window hard and im a bloody good shot!)
kids playing happily, laughing and having a lovely time is the sound of summer-- being lil sh*@s is wrong, same as kicking a ball against neighbours fence (yes u silly boy it was me that gave your ball to molly and let her pop it!)
im not even 30 yet and im evil to kids

children r like farts- u love yer own but not other peoples