Personal Invasion Rant

[Henrietta]

I am looking forward to my holiday but oh how lovely it would be just to lock the door behind me and leave all my stuff all over the place to be waiting there for my return.
Instead with 4 carers a day plus a daily nurse, plus a daily food delivery, plus family looking in, during my 10 day break I will have no less than 65 people unlock my home, traipse through poking into goodness knows what in my absence. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
It's almost enough to make me stay at home.

[MumWhoCares]

65?! Oh my word, Henrietta, that's like a hotel! And to think you normally do all of that yourself, it's amazing how many people it takes when the carer goes away!

[bowlingbun]

Henrietta, maybe you should consider making one or two rooms solely yours, and putting locks on them? My mum also had lots of carers, some of who were of dubious character. She decided to give me all her jewellery a couple of years before she died, and a few other things which she knew were of sentimental value to me. She could only just walk to the toilet and back with her Zimmer frame, couldn't go in the kitchen when her meals were being cooked. Lots of her cutlery, of all things, disappeared!! Especially teaspoons. In the end I bought some "cheap and nasty" spoons from ebay, they did manage to stay put. I wonder why. Her "gardener" systematically cleared her garden of all her daffodils - and transplanted them into his front garden, completely forgetting that he lived next to my brother's house, so I saw them!!

[Henrietta]

No I have nearly that number coming through all the time except the 10 meal deliveries and ten of the care visits (one extra per day) but I am here to oversee.
I don't think I have anything left in the house of much value- I have already moved stuff.
One of the carers has seriously got up my nose this evening- I asked him to do the washing up and he has done it all except one plate, knife , fork and mug which I used and he has left these dirty on the side. I am on the war path and he has picked a bad day to crosss me. I have emailed a sarcastic request to the manager whether I should be able to expect this when a carer has a spare ten minutes plus each visit to sit and watch the tv. I know at the CHC meeting that general household help for daughter was on the list of Dad's needs.
I am easy going but I won't be made a mug of.

Bowlingbun- that doesn't surprise me at all. In theory the carers shouldn't be going upstairs. I can't really lock everything upstairs as its still dad's house and he would perceive it as locking him out if he were to find out , even though he doesn't go upstairs. My brother might go up there for something so I couldn't really. To be fare, despite my rant, I don't really not trust any of them, it's just a feeling of lack of control.

[NanaNana]

Oh dear, Henrietta. Sounds like the assistant will do things that relate to your dad and not things which help you (as in the remit). Get onto their bosses about this. This used to happen in our house with our PAs, as if I didn't matter or help them enormously. Speak to someone about it.
Don't let yourself be treated like a doormat by your assistants. I was driven crazy by letting myself be used like this.

[Scally]

There is a lot to be said for having a locked room or even a small safe for your own personal stuff. Not a happy scenario!
You might as well simply leave the front door open with 65 people wandering through - one of them is bound to be a chancer.

[NanaNana]

Scally's right, Henrietta. You say you have nothing valuable in the house, well I say, yes you do. Your privacy is at stake here. The entire house is subject to being disected and pried upon and you can't be around all the time.
I once found a PA sitting on the settee in our lounge, flicking casually through our wedding album and other photo albums. I knew she'd been through others, because they were put back on the bookshelf all out of order and I know damn well that I always put things back in the same place as I get them out of.
Privacy is sacred, doesn't matter whether you've got the Crown Jewels in your knicker drawer or not.
Maybe consider getting a lock put on one room, which you can call your own.

[Violet]

I know what you mean - strangers in your home. I think I am going to get a lock on door of a room where I shall know no-one can nose around - good suggestion.

We have a "sitting service" once a week when I can go out, knowing that someone is with hubby for 2.5 hours. She doesn't do anything other than making coffee for them both- sits with hubby watching daytime TV - hubby nods off to sleep most of the time - but I am sure she has a good snoop around. Once or twice she has asked me something which she would only know about if she had "happened to notice" - not something I have told her about.

NanaNana looking through your wedding and photo albums, that's not on

I can certainly understand your uneasiness Henrietta with so many people being in your home. As you say you could not lock a room, do you have a cupboard or even a wardrobe which you could lock? Make sure other wardrobe keys do not fit as sometimes keys are interchangeable. It's a shame to have to think this way in our own homes - but 65 people in your home!

[Fi_15061]

Interesting and worrying thread. You've helped me make up my mind that yes, the study door will be locked when we start getting carers in to "mum sit".

[jenifer_1605]

I am so amazed by reading this and you guys were looking the wedding photo albums. I think its a natural behavior, people normal do this to look their memories. I also sometimes look my old wedding dress and wedding photos!