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Paying for Care home - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Paying for Care home

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Thanks for all the input. I am fairly overwhelmed, I have to say.

I am a bit unclear about what the magic age of reaching 60 actually means. Does it mean they can’t take the money from the eventual sale of the house? If not, does it actually mean anything at all? My mum does have savings of more than £23K, and I know they would start taking that.

If they are saying that she is at risk of falling again if she goes home, surely she could still fall if in a care home. Might they decide she should be wheelchair bound to avoid possible falling? Could they give her an electric wheelchair to move around as she couldn’t move herself with a manual chair? Or would she need someone to walk with her every time she gets up for the toilet? And this would also be needed at night. I can’t be getting up 2 or 3 times a night, as I have to get up in the morning for work. 🤕

Hi Lapwing, sorry we bombarded you with lots of woe yesterday but better to know the facts so you can plan as best as possible.
When I looked into all this 7 months ago, if you are a grown up child who is living in the property as your home (not sure if you need to have lived there so many years) as I had been at home for decades, then when it comes to a financial assessment for a care home , the home is disregarded if the "child" is over 60 or is disabled.
Therefore if you can limp on until you reach 60 by hook or by crook your home will avoid having a deferred charge placed on it to pay for care home fees.
I think the council would be highly unlikely to pay for electric wheelchair. They may if you are lucky pay for 4 x 2 carers but no night time cover.
Have you got the basics in place like commode and slide sheets?
This is something you need to consider very carefully- would you be better off giving up work to become main carer until you are 60? Whatever you earn in the next 18 months will not pay for a flat I would guess! There is a small sum of carers allowance.
The difficult juggle you end up with is a nightmare. Is there a chance that mum will become so likely to fall social services and GP wil start bandying around threats of safeguarding. At this stage again-in your situation cheaper to aply for live in carer self funding to bridge the gap until 60.
This is an issue that I have very strong feelings about, I always lived in family home and gave up work for 5 years to care for dad. He had umpteen falls and at End of Life I was struggling to keep him safe at home so the last 3 weeks he was in respite care home. If he had not have passed on , but lingered as some can with dementia then the house would have been sold to pay for it in the end.
Plenty of food for thought here and no easy options.
I would recomend that when speaking to officials Social services , GPs etc you do not express your choices to be based on your own personal financial situation. Wrap them up as care for your mum, "always wanted to die" at home etc etc
You just need to get to 60!!!!!!
The question of whether a "child" living at home is discretionary to the LA so some may be more humane about it than others.
Could you put out feelers anonomously to gauge the approach of your own Social services?
I really don't know my stuff on this but this may help - if your caree gets attendance allowance it might be possible for some of it to be used for the motability scheme - if that is financially viable. I know my brother could have paid £28 a week (?) for an electric bariatric wheelchair, but in fact it would not have been good for his skin and he would scarcely have used it. But anyway, check out the motability scheme.
Well as a quick update,

Mum is home after a 11 day hospital stay. They concluded that she had fallen because of pain in her legs. She has been discharged with no additional care provided. But now mum has lost her confidence to the extent that she wants to go into a care home. She says she is worried about what might happen when she is alone. I don’t think this is a good idea but it’s her decision at the end of the (long tiring) day. Sigh 😔

Many homes let a potential new resident arrive on a respite basis, ie, so you don't sign a long term contract. That way they can try them out.

Though, you know, finances apart, if your mum actually WANTS to be in residential care, I would be very thankful! I know it's a wrench emotionally, but it lifts all the 'chore burden' aspect of care off your shoulders, and then you can enjoy her COMPANY again.

Until she got very bad with her dementia, I would have my MIL back for 'sleepovers' with me, and then, when that was too difficult (as she worsened) I regularly took her out for lunch/tea and a nice drive and so on, which she really enjoyed.

A good care home is like a hotel for OAPs! They lay on nice meals, daily entertainment, company, good cheer and companionship. There is something 'going on' all the time, and the residents DO feel 'part of a community again'. Loneliness in old age is horrible, and if you take the word 'care home' and substitute it with 'All Inclusive Hotel designed for OAPs' it can sound a lot, lot less 'sad'.
It was a HUGE relief for me when my mum moved into a care home, and I'm sure it will be for you too. Make sure you use a home as close as possible to your home, and I would urge you to find one that promises they can deal with any development until she dies. Many homes these days cove care, nursing, and dementia care (EMI = Elderly Mentally Infirm).
The next step is to arrange for the local authority to visit for a Financial Assessment. In any case the first 12 weeks mum should be assessed only on her income, I believe, the value of her house will only be taken into consideration after the 12 weeks are up.

You now need to contact the Carers UK helpline to find out more about a "Capital Disregard" for the financial assessment. Email them, don't ring, and tell them how old you are.

I forgot to say, don't let mum take anything valuable into the home, or it will get "lost". Also make sure everything is CLEARLY LABELLED and will withstand washing at high temperatures. No hand knit jumpers, or wool! My mum insisted on having all her clothes from her home in her wardrobe, it was 4ft wide and bulging, and she was bed ridden and would never wear them again, but insisted. Maybe buy mum some lovely toiletries before she moves out. It's an emotional roller coaster, but will be a huge weight off your shoulders too. We are here for you, any questions, just ask."
That Age UK link , posted earlier , will be of assistance now that a care home is the favoured route.
Earlier in this thread you pondered the cause of the falls was associated with 'frailty'. In my experience, the hospital doctors use the word frail to equate to social needs rather than a medical condition. They use this reasoning as grounds to deny CHC. I'd urge you to use more specific medical wording to describe your mother's condition.

Also, my mum lost confidence whilst spending time in hospital, mostly in bed. It doesn't take long being in bed for one's mobility, strength and mental confidence to decline. I encouraged mum to keep moving and build her strength up.
Good point Rosemary. My mum kept falling as she had a serious spinal condition called Hyperostosis. Bony outgrowths put pressure on nerves coming out from the spine. If mum moved on a certain way (flushing the toilet seemed to be a speciality), then she fell. Had she moved her feet rather than twisted round, she might not have fallen. Took me ages to work out what was happening, as I didn't live with mum.