Panorama tonight (23/4) Abuse of the elderly in care homes

[tracie]

dumped is the wrong word to use

my husband has cp epilepsy and is blind his dad has dementia and over last 4 yrs he has got slightly worse his mum looks after his dad and we help best we can but i am ill and hubby not in best of health but he does what he can hubby will sit with him while his mum goes out shopping his mum is up in night when his dad gets confused of where toilet is or hypo due to being diabetic sometimes things have to be put in place for everyones health and well being its not just about dumping sticking someone in a home its a hard choice to make

[Duncaring]

Hi

I had no intention of "dumping" my dad is a care home. All I wanted was one week per year to have a break. I had moved back to the city I was born in and had consciously chosen to leave for a better place. No way would my dad have moved to where I wanted to live and a move at that stage in his life may have caused confusion to a mentally alert elderly man. In 12 years of caring I had one week off in 2006. Never in all those years did my sibling even visit my dad. My elder child and my sibling's children were all adults for at least the last decade. My elder child never once offered to look after her grandfather, my sibling's children never visited. My younger child has been an adult for 3 years and would keep an eye on my dad for the likes of doctor's appointment. I had hospitals discharging my dad even though I was exhausted and ill myself. I was put at risk many a time as my dad had MRSA and I have eczema. He also had LRTI (lower respiratory tract infection) and I have asthma. Social Services never faced the reality of my dad. They claimed in one letter that I was hindering his progress by trying to get him a stair lift. In his late 80s I dont know what progress they thought he was going to make. I got his stair lift eventually after spending 6 months shoving a 6 ft 14 stone man up 2 flights of stairs every night.

So far from dumping my old dad in a home I only wanted 1 week per year to get away from the place I hate and the stupidity of dealing with a Social Services office who seemed to think my dad was suddenly going to turn into a marathon runner and a hospital who cant work out that if you push the carer too far you end up with the carer in hospital.

As a result of my experiences of being a carer I have told my children not to become my carer but to find me a nice wee care home and visit now and then in their work uniforms and make sure that the care home is running well. They were told to be scary if necessary. Only by demanding that care homes are decent will we ever get good care homes.

I am so glad that you can manage to care continually for your caree but I dont think that one week off per year was asking for so much. I believe you had a post, Eun, about how your respite time was cut and that your caree was taken by someone else to the Savoy in Glasgow. I didnt have that I was 24/7 no days off no respite no holidays (caree would never go on a holiday with or without the family in the last 40 years). I also had to live in a place I didnt want to ever go back to. I visited twice a day whenever in hospital. I really put my back into caring and only wanted one week off in return. Decent pay was out of the question. Now my dad is dead and I am ill and being sent back round various departments of hospitals trying to find out what is wrong with me. It is simple, 12 years, 1 week off = sheer exhaustion.

Little Lamb

[biscuit22]

Hi All

Very scary what I saw on the abuse on the elderly. I have been caring for my mother for 2 years 24/7 who suffered a severe stroke, which has left her wheelchair dependant & incontinent and I have 2 carers that come in 3 time a day for personal care, as my mother is hoisted for all transfers.

I refuse to put my mother in a home because I am so scared the same sort of thing would happened to her. Having said that I am also scared that one day I may have no choice but to eventually put her in a care home if I cannot cope or I may fall ill myself.

I am in my early forties and gave up my full-time job to care for her as I felt it was my responsibility to do so. However I do find it stressful at times in caring for my mother, but as long as she is with me it gives me comfort knowing she is o.k.

[Emma Forrester]

I used to work in a care home not as a carer but in the kitchens , part of my job was to deliver the hot trollies to the units so i saw how the staff treated the residents. Recently my MIL had to go into a care home and it was without hesitation i recomended the place i had worked in as i knew the staff,she has settled in and the staff are still as good and caring as i remember.

[Phoenix10]

I couldnt watch the whole programme as it was too distresssing. Shocking. Fortunately, I didnt have to put my dad in a home but did go to view a very good one as it seemed it could have gone that way. We cared for dad at home and like Biscuit it was a comfort to know that he was with me and was OK. Though it was stressful at times, we made the most of it. He was very much family orientated and a care home may have distressed him. He may have been OK for a few days but would have definately done his best to get back to his home. He would have been very sad.

[michael parker]

There are some good homes out there,but they are getting scarcer.Everything is being done as cheaply as possible,so the quality of management,of care staff,of equipment,of care in general,is going to suffer.I care for my parents because i cannot afford to place them somewhere nice,so i am at the mercy of Social Services,and i know there isn`t a Social Services home,or a home used by Social Services in this area that i would want them to live in.It is my choice to do this.I am not forced to,and when the day comes that i cannot cope any more,then they will have to go to one of these homes.I hope they die before that,but that is out of my control.I do not have a problem with people who `dump` their relatives in homes,that is their choice,there is no right or wrong in this.We are not legally bound to care for our loved ones,and no Divine force will punish us if we `dump` our relatives in a home,but,when homes are set up,there are laws to regulate the way they are run and the care that the residents receive.There are laws to deal with assault,neglect,abuse,but when are they used.....hardly ever.We have a regulatory body,CQC,to whom we are supposed to report these incidents and concerns,but they are useless.They will not close private homes because councils cannot find the beds to take extra clients.Staff who abuse residents get away with it because nobody wants to put their head on the block and say `i saw what happened`,why would they,when they see CQC failing to act until something serious or media-worthy occurs.If there was a good home here,and if i knew i had a regulatory body to whom i could turn if i needed to,then my parents would have been `dumped` some time ago.But there isn`t,so i care for them,and i am happy to do it despite the sacrifices.But,as i said earlier,i hope they die before i get too old to cope.Things are not going to get better in care homes,they will get worse.What we see now as bad is rapidly becoming the norm.What we see as worse will be the norm in the future,so what the hell will care homes be like when todays children are aged,living to 125 years,starting their dementia at 75 years.....thats 50years of dementia in a care home of the future.....we`ve never had it so good.

[pamr]

its very interesting how many of us carers, have told our adult children that if the time comes that we need care that we would rather go into a care home than have them give up their lives looking after us. says it all i think.

i just hope mine believe what i have asked of them and carry it through if necessary.

[Penny]

There are some good homes out there,but they are getting scarcer.Everything is being done as cheaply as possible,so the quality of management,of care staff,of equipment,of care in general,is going to suffer.I care for my parents because i cannot afford to place them somewhere nice,so i am at the mercy of Social Services,and i know there isn`t a Social Services home,or a home used by Social Services in this area that i would want them to live in.It is my choice to do this.I am not forced to,and when the day comes that i cannot cope any more,then they will have to go to one of these homes.I hope they die before that,but that is out of my control.I do not have a problem with people who `dump` their relatives in homes,that is their choice,there is no right or wrong in this.We are not legally bound to care for our loved ones,and no Divine force will punish us if we `dump` our relatives in a home,but,when homes are set up,there are laws to regulate the way they are run and the care that the residents receive.There are laws to deal with assault,neglect,abuse,but when are they used.....hardly ever.We have a regulatory body,CQC,to whom we are supposed to report these incidents and concerns,but they are useless.They will not close private homes because councils cannot find the beds to take extra clients.Staff who abuse residents get away with it because nobody wants to put their head on the block and say `i saw what happened`,why would they,when they see CQC failing to act until something serious or media-worthy occurs.If there was a good home here,and if i knew i had a regulatory body to whom i could turn if i needed to,then my parents would have been `dumped` some time ago.But there isn`t,so i care for them,and i am happy to do it despite the sacrifices.But,as i said earlier,i hope they die before i get too old to cope.Things are not going to get better in care homes,they will get worse.What we see now as bad is rapidly becoming the norm.What we see as worse will be the norm in the future,so what the hell will care homes be like when todays children are aged,living to 125 years,starting their dementia at 75 years.....thats 50years of dementia in a care home of the future.....we`ve never had it so good.

I'm glad you mentioned the CQC Michael. Wasn't the report they did a disgrace? It was a complete whitewash and for people considering moving relatives to that Home in the prog., totally misleading. They should have said in black and white for all to understand that there has been serious issues with 5 members of staff who had all now been sacked and one was sent to prison. They shouldn't just be allowed to gloss over it and say it was an isolated incident.

[Saoirse]

I'm fortunate in that the Home here (state run) is excellent, and has been upgraded in the last 20 years to include specialist wards for Dementia patients, and I have no qualms about "dumping" my mother there every two months for Respite. Nor will I have a problem "dumping" her there permanently when she becomes too much for me to handle.

From what I understand (and this abuse goes on all over the world) the problem is Homes hiring unsuitable staff (in some cases people with criminal records) and they are given no training.

Far too many people assume that caring for an elderly person is simple, sit them in a chair with a blanket on their legs, cuppa in one hand, TV remote in the other - sorted!

Of course, those of us who care for the elderly know that's far, far from the truth. Elderly people can and do suffer from incontinence, have difficultly moving, are in pain, and in a lot of cases become 'confused'. If you're having to deal with these things and you weren't prepared for a person poo-ing themselves, or the bed; or not being able to move where you want, when you want; or yell when you touch them, no matter how careful you are; and refuse to perform even basic tasks competently, like drinking a cup of tea without spilling it on themselves, or all over the floor. It can be a 'shock to the system'.

We grow up believing that older people are our carers and protectors who teach us what to do, and help us when we need help. When you are a carer, you have to forget all that and reverse the situation. You are now the carer, protector, teacher, helper. With the correct training and information it's do-able. Without any training or information, not so much. And you end up with frustrated carers (be they family members or staff in homes) will resort to slapping, shouting and other abuse.

It's very easy to stand outside the situation and criticise.

I managed to cope because I know two women who worked in Homes, and they fed me information on taking care of an elderly person, so I didn't vent my frustrations on my parents.

Proper training, and screening applicants is what's needed. A similar documentary on RTÉ showed an agency who were providing at-home-carers to the elderly. None of the people were trained, and hadn't a clue what they were doing. They were "abusing" their charges, only it wasn't abuse, as none of them were deliberately trying to hurt the patients, they just didn't know how to give someone a tablet, or spoon feed them, or help them in and out of bed, or anything else.

[michael parker]

The situation with CQC is beyond a joke.None of us will obey regulations/laws if we think we can get away with it.We speed when we drive,we use mobile phones when we drive,we steal if we are sure we shan`t get caught,we will be abusive,racist,assault and even kill if we can get away with it and justify it to ourselves.Society needs rules and regulations for it`s own good,otherwise we have mayhem and no society.Care homes are run by people.These people will get away with whatever they can if there is no regulation,and at the moment there is very little,as,whilst the regulations/laws exist,there is no reliable regulatory body to enforce these regulations/laws.We speed because we don`t get caught.A resident unable to speak for himself will be abused because the carer cannot be caught,and if he is,nothing will happen.The same applies to all aspects of care,hospital care is rapidly becoming a disgrace,home care is a gamble as to who you get,and how many family members are abusing the carees they are supposed to be caring for?We desperately need a strong,reliable,honest regulatory body to whom we can turn,without it we have streets without Police,and much as none of us want to be told what we can or cannot do,and do not want to be fined for speeding or parking in the wrong place,without the enforcement of societies regulations we have no society,and therefore return to the survival of the fittest,which probably eliminates all of us.