[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
Panorama tonight (23/4) Abuse of the elderly in care homes - Carers UK Forum

Panorama tonight (23/4) Abuse of the elderly in care homes

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... abuse.html

Fiona Phillips was talking on the Jeremy Vine show about this today. Also on with her was the daughter of this poor, poor lady. I'm not sure that I will be able to watch it because it is sickening but I have heard and seen most of it already so hopefully we might be able to hear how thins can be stopped and what care homes plan to do about incidents like this.
Perhaps if these people cared for their relatives at home instead of dumping them in care homes then this would not happen. This is why we care 24/7 for our son - we would not even consider dumpimng him in such a place. He is our son - our responsibility.

Eun
Perhaps if these people cared for their relatives at home instead of dumping them in care homes then this would not happen. This is why we care 24/7 for our son - we would not even consider dumpimng him in such a place. He is our son - our responsibility.

Eun
Eun, perhaps one day you will have to 'dump' your son in a Care Home and your understanding of other people might be a little more compassionate.
I have 'dumped' my Father in Law in a Care Home and I make no apology for that.
i commend you for that Eun.

however, there is always the question which i am sure you are well aware of. What happens when parents of disabled children are simply too old and physically unable to look after their children anymore.
and of course when sons and daughters of elderly and ill parents are themselves unable to continue care evan if they wish to.

as always the answers are never simple.
Perhaps if these people cared for their relatives at home instead of dumping them in care homes then this would not happen. This is why we care 24/7 for our son - we would not even consider dumpimng him in such a place. He is our son - our responsibility.

Eun
Eun, not everyone is in a position to care for their relatives at home and some relatives require a greater level of care, including specialised nursing or end-of-life care, than a family member can be safely or reasonably expected to provide for them. You only have to read the heartbreak that some members of this board go through when residential care is the only option left to understand that this is not a case of "dumping" a relative or of failing in their responsibility towards them but of doing what is best for the person for whom they care.
I think Eun might have said that in the heat of the moment.

There are loads of reasons why people cannot care for elderly parents - family disputes, house too small, not physically or mentally stong enough to cope, distance, work commitments, family problems etc.

Wherever they are cared for they should be safe, clean, and treated with dignity.
Sometimes we have to make heartbreaking decisions. I cared for my mother but when my daughter became ill and needed full time care there was no question for me who was my priority. Knowing my lovely Mom, she would have wanted it no other way. Thank goodness the home she lives in is a good one. We do what we have to do - eventhough the guilt is sometimes overwhelming.
Perhaps if these people cared for their relatives at home instead of dumping them in care homes then this would not happen. This is why we care 24/7 for our son - we would not even consider dumpimng him in such a place. He is our son - our responsibility.

Eun
A couple of points. The title of this thread is about abuse of the elderly, not our children, whether they are adults or not. If we were talking about our children then maybe you would say that I had "dumped" my daughter in a care home last year where I should actually have looked after her at home. I know your situation, your son's illness and I am truly sorry for that. But you will not have known the pain of having your child throw knives at you, try to hurt you, smash things that are precious to you and listen to them cry in desperation because they cannot explain what is wrong. The same child who is ill and who wants to move away from home and be like others - is it my right to deprive her of a possible new life because she is my responsibility?? what about her view or doesn't that count?

Now for elderly in care. My mum was in hospital three times since Christmas. At one point it was though she needed end of life care. I live in South London and have no car, she is in West London over an hour away by tube and 2 hours by bus. My husband has a heart condition and if my caree had still been at home what would I have done, chosen the one I love the best and "dumped" the other one? My daughter or my mum..doesn't bear thinking about.

Except that it does because it would have been impossible to look after both. It is just me and my hubby and eldest daughter here now, caree is still in her hospital placement but mum is home. I have just had a call from her, the care agency that we had chsoen for her has let her down twice today, not turning up at all this morning (careworker said she couldn't find the address) and I have just had a call from mum, careworker was supposed to arrive at 7 to get her tea and help her get undressed ect, the careworker didn't turn up and someone else started knocking at her door at 9pm saying they were the careworker and wanted to come in to move the commode. I have left a message on the voicemail service and am waiting for a call. My mum is capable of mobility but is very frail. She is end stage heart failure and struggles but can just about make a cup of tea and a light meal. In the process of caring for her at home she has been let down twice today and if she was totally reliant on the careworkers would have been in a terrible state by now. She would have had no food or hot drinks. I had to attend a meeting at carees placement, a vital one so I couldn't have gone to mum. Her care at home let her down.
Should she go in a care home? If it was the best thing for her, absolutely, if there was no other alternative and I could not make proper arrangements for her.

So the thing is Eun, you may consider that care homes are dumping grounds but I am surprised that such an obviously wise woman as yourself would say such a thing, especially as you know the situations of some of the people here. I think it's safe to say that it is not a decision that is taken lightly and for some it is heartbreaking, I commend them for trying to do the right thing.
Perhaps if these people cared for their relatives at home instead of dumping them in care homes then this would not happen. This is why we care 24/7 for our son - we would not even consider dumpimng him in such a place. He is our son - our responsibility.

Eun
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 no it's not working Image
Did anyone watch the programme? It's something I should have watched but I had really bad earache last night and found that I couldn't even listen to my favourite music without it feeling even worse, so I missed it.

Will try to pick it up on iplayer.