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Might like to comment on this - Carers UK Forum

Might like to comment on this

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"I'm so angry my sister won't help care for our mum."

Sarah Abell advises a reader on how to shed her bitterness and resentment that her sister won't share the care for their elderly mother.

See article at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationship ... -mum..html

No comments there when I looked a few minutes ago.
"I'm so angry my sister won't help care for our mum."

Sarah Abell advises a reader on how to shed her bitterness and resentment that her sister won't share the care for their elderly mother.

See article at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationship ... -mum..html

No comments there when I looked a few minutes ago.
Hi,

Unfortunately this is very common as SS have told me before I feel the same towards my sister and she lives 5 mins away from her mum & she refuses to help me SS are no good this is all about someone making up there own mind & refusing to help as carers we r often alone
I would be willing to bet that most of these relatives who refuse to do any of the caring will still make sure they show their faces at the will reading once a caree has passed on!!!
often close freinds spouces and the like are more committed carers,though,having said that,i care for my mom.i find family very supportive,but as the nearest family member is over 200 miles away,they cannot do much more than be on-hand,by phone,if i need a chat.
I would be willing to bet that most of these relatives who refuse to do any of the caring will still make sure they show their faces at the will reading once a caree has passed on!!!
Hi,

Yes that's for sure that's what get's to me it's so unfair the carer's do the hard graph & family member's sittin with there hand out im not bothered about money me & my caree are more important & I will do what is required
Surprisingly, there is now only one comment at the end of the article - you would think there would be quite a few people affected this way. It could be that they are not posting comments which do not offer useful suggestions or added experience, of course.

See article at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationship ... -mum..html
I would be willing to bet that most of these relatives who refuse to do any of the caring will still make sure they show their faces at the will reading once a caree has passed on!!!
Oh so very true! People may remember on here how my dear sister (not) decided she didn't want my Mum living with her anymore and didn't have her back after one of my regular visits where I looked after Mum in her own home. I travelled from Spain every 3rd week and stayed a week to care for Mum. The rest of the time Mum had a care package in place. My sister, who told me she felt "liberated" used to go to my aunt's house 2 doors away but would not visit. my sister lived just 20 minutes away from Mum.

Funnily enough, my sister came back on the scene a few days before Mum died! She fought tooth and nail to get what she could from Mum's will but fortunately I have managed to distribute Mum's estate according to her wishes, ie 50% to grandchildren rather than my sister. She completely cleared Mum's house including the t.bags!! As you can imagine, our relationship has now completely broken down.....I have sadly, no interest in seeing my sister again after what she put Mum, my children and myself through. Mum was no angel I know, but did not deserve the treatment she received.

Bell x
Sadly this is not uncommon. When Jan's mum and stepfather started showing signs of dementia, Jan's older and able bodied sister estranged her self form her mum, stepfather and us.

This meant that Jan, me and our son had to cope alone with all the incontinence, bewilderment, and non payment of bills, because of the dementia. What annoyed me was that Jan was the one leas able to give physical personal care help to them and it was inappropriate for me to offer any hands on personal care.

In the end when Jan's mum died, and by coincidence Jan's sister ran out of the blue to tell us that their uncle had just died too. Jan said that 'mum had just died and the funeral was on the next Monday. Her sister said, "ho! I thought she would have been long dead by now"

Needles to say she didn't attend the funeral
Sadly this is not uncommon. When Jan's mum and stepfather started showing signs of dementia, Jan's older and able bodied sister estranged her self form her mum, stepfather and us.

This meant that Jan, me and our son had to cope alone with all the incontinence, bewilderment, and non payment of bills, because of the dementia. What annoyed me was that Jan was the one leas able to give physical personal care help to them and it was inappropriate for me to offer any hands on personal care.

In the end when Jan's mum died, and by coincidence Jan's sister ran out of the blue to tell us that their uncle had just died too. Jan said that 'mum had just died and the funeral was on the next Monday. Her sister said, "ho! I thought she would have been long dead by now"

Needles to say she didn't attend the funeral

I find this all so v sad, but v true
My OH and I read the Telegraph article. My OHs brother reads the Telegraph too, I wonder if he felt any guilt, I doubt it Image