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who really cares?. - Carers UK Forum

who really cares?.

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
a couple of streets from us,few days back,a person was found after being dead in their home for about a week.no one knew,no one cared.its a sad thing.so typical today though.
It's funny in one way but I remember the same thing happening when I was a kid. You heard stories of milk not being collected on the doorstep for a few days before the alarm was raised. Nowadays of course there's not even that sign for most people.
supermarkets saw-off the milkman.you dont have a regular postman,today,well,we dont.
we dont need a coal-man anymore,and the chap to collect the littlewoods pools money each week,long-since vanished.some still get a newspaper delivered.

but,with progress,theres far less interaction.you may meet a meter-reader,and hope to god that they are the real deal and not bogus.
folks who live alone can go unseen for weeks.

funn,isnt it,in a way,the postmen.coalmen,milkmen.poolsmen etc etc,were,in a strange sort of a way,"Carers".they cared for those they daily intereacted with on the doorsteps.
meals-on-wheels might still cater for some,but,how much we have lost.

thank god for our avon lady,bless her.
I was just thinking about neighbourliness today. I was talking to someone who said he would not want a relative of his living on a council estate.Katie is living in a council house now, and she talks to all her neighbours. To me, good neighbours are essential to peace and happiness, and it makes no difference where you live.
I have been blessed all my life,with wonderful neighbours,wherever I have lived.
.....and I'm sure that you being a lovely person helped that be so, Jane x
I always find news like this upsetting. I have a wonderful postman and milkman and I hope they would notice if something wasn't right when they delivered to our house.
As for our neighbours, they don't notice anything and never call to see how we are or knock the door to come in for a coffee or a chat with Mum. We moved into this street in 1965 and it's only a small cul-de-sac and most of the poeple moved in the same time as us, but they still don't bother.
Isn't it strange that I am the one who has a key to two of the neighbours houses, I put away their wheelie bins every week and I'm the one who arranged stickers for the disabled lady's bins to help her, maybe if I didn't put their bins away one week then they would notice something was up? I doubt it. Very sad.
Unfortunately, people dying alone and unnoticed is not a new phenomenon. Even though my neighbors are friendly, gone are the days when people just popped in for no reason. Everyone is working, or travelling, or busy watching tellie, or something other than having the time for casual social interaction on a regular basis.
We need to take a long view on this. Every so often I go for a stroll in the old graveyards, and the thing that strikes you is the number of children who died young.
And then you look at the war memorials, and see the number of young men who died in the first and second world wars.
Our own baby boom generation is extraordinarily insulated from the matter of fact routine of death.
Perhaps our older generations tragedy is that many of them live far too long - and have too few surviving relatives - to have anyone left to care. Who cares for the sole survivors once they reach their dotage?
We are a much more mobile society, gone are the days when families remained in one place often in the same street or only a couple of streets away, children leave home and move to other regions of the country, every time we move to another area we have to make new friends or not as the case may be, there is very little continuity. It is easy to see how people become isolated, especially when they are elderly and not very mobile, communities are constantly changing. What I do have difficulty with is understanding how people can be sick or die and their families be unaware, I live nearly 100 miles from my parents and now my mother and have always telephoned them every day to check that they are OK and have a chat, however far the distance technology enables us to keep in touch, it may not compensate for the days when family was only a short walk away but it does not take long to reach family members these days, it takes only a couple of days for my sister to travel back from the other side of the world.
often those for whom we care have mobility denied them and so,too often,they are limited to the house.so the isolation the busy modern world affords is difficult for those left behind,sidelined.