Carers UK Forum

Apart from no I Mum ,I have had no communication with anyone on the problem I've now got and would be interested to hear what any of you think.
Some of you may recall my hub has Aspergers and recurrent depression syndrome.He's 44.We said goodbye to the mental health team when hub seemed to stabilise ,and to be honest the once a month "well how are you feeling now ?" wasn't doing much.

Over the last few months his behaviour has changed first sublty, then dramatically.He started to come up to bed with me rather than his usual late turn in, started sitting opposite me for every meal instead of his usual one eye on the tv/comp.He started to sleep- loads more.Then , things in the house that he would normally take pride over , he just left completely.( no replacing light bulbs, watering plants, his OCD disappeared and he wasn't bathing ) Mysteriously, the washer,dishwasher,computer,router,front gate - all broke.He would normally have fixed them, not a problem.Now he stood in front of each thing shrugging ,saying he had no idea how you fixed them.I went to the G.P. twice - contacted my carer support,e mailed mental health.Everyone agreed he needed to be referred back to mental health.I saw the G.P. again y'day and I thought he was going to call the Duty Officer.He said I'd get a phone call from mental health and my hub would go and see them.Heard nowt.I think we are at the bottom of the pile, not on the Duty Officers list.
Question is- I am starting to suspect this is not depression.Last night hub (who is bright like a lot of aspies and previously built his comp ) asked me how to reset the router .This means turning the switch off and on.I couldn't believe it.It seems like dementia to me.My mum and dad both had it and they forgot how to do basic tasks too.
Thoughts welcome,
thanks
B.

I've read what you've said barrowgirl, but unfortunately can't offer much advice as it's not something I've had experience with. Though I do agree that it doesn't sound like depression to me, at least not in the usual sense.

My son is 26 and has Downs Syndrome and type 1 Diabetes. A few weeks ago, he had a sudden and unexpected very aggressive hypo attack which left him unconscious for several hours.
It has left him with some memory loss, and looking back, he reminded me of my Dad after a TIA,which is a mini-stroke.
The memory loss seems to be something that is puzzling him, he is aware that he should know things,and doesn't understand why they are not in his head.
Could your husband have had a TIA, or even a bigger stroke?My husband had a stroke about four years ago with no effects on him, except a pit in one cheek. It was only a brain scan that showed he had suffered a stroke.

Good luck with finding a cause.

Actually I think it is a form of depression...my son is like your hubbie (has aspergers)...but he also has the bi polar form of depression where he goes just like you discribed your hubbie from someone that can do things to it being totally alien to him. I am not a medical expert I am just basing what you have said on what I have seen with my son. I would strongly suggest another visit to your gp to be on the safe side. Also start a diary write down these things so they can see patterns in the deterioration.

Thanks all-I'd appreciate it too if others please keep any thoughts coming.
We've heard nothing again today so it's not being treated as urgent which is what I suspected.The stroke suggestion sounds plausible to me.As does my thought of early onset dementia.I feel this isn't depression at all.
I am totally without faith in the medical profession at this point.The only comfort is the mental health team are crap anyway ,I am only holding out to see them in the hope that they will order a scan of his brain so we can figure out what's wrong.The G.P. seems not to have any initiative,and is leaving it down to the mental health team to sort.I have no idea how we as carers get by ,we should all be sainted when we die
thank God for chocolate is all I can say right now !
B.x

Thanks sparks-we posted at same time.x

thank God for chocolate is all I can say right now !

Maybe there should be a charity that donates chocolate to carers in need

thank God for chocolate is all I can say right now !

Maybe there should be a charity that donates chocolate to carers in need

There isn't a charity big enough to afford us

The TIA sounds very feasible to me, though I'm no expert. If you took him to A&E and said you suspected he'd had one, would they do a scan then, to be sure?

BertieBear - that is a brilliant idea
Myrtle - I have been sat here thinking about A and E.God, it comes to something when you have to think of ways to get your husband seen by the right people , doesn't it ? why don't doctors just think a bit more broadly.If he didn't have aspergers I'm sure he would have been sent for a scan.

At the rate I'm getting through crunchies it'll be me who goes to A and E- but will the trolley be wide enough for my bum

B.x

have you tried doing a memory test,some of the questions are on the internet and make a few up,ie name and address of harry barnes is one question,then ask him to remember 3 fruits,does he remember what he did that morning or yesterday,don't dismiss alzheimers my wife was diagnosed at 40,sooner you get diagnosis the sooner it can be helped ie aricept,but a full blood count may show something simple that's the problem,thyroid etc,friend of mine had a blocked vein going into her head,she had a stroke but they sorted her and she's ok now