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equality,carers,why i just got mad. - Carers UK Forum

equality,carers,why i just got mad.

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now today,i got mad,i mean angry,i mean livid-type anger,rage,and ive a long fuse,so i dont get so mad very much,but i did-so today.

ok,brought it all on myself,i grant you.

i asked a minor local politician to meet for coffee to discuss non-carer stuff,planning issues in-fact.nothing carer-related in it at all.

that-done we chatted,i just said i was a carer aswell as doing my job.

the minor politician smiled,then said:"Oh your a carer too.Good,i think this carer thing is a spongers charter">I felt myself getting very warm."Why so?" i asked,frostily.


"Well,you work and care too.too many just see having some poor soul to use as an excuse to avoid work as being a heaven-sent gift,they call themselves carers,i call em ponces".

i was flabbergastered by that responce.we had heated chat,then the minor twit said:

"LOOK WEEK-IN-WEEK-OUT,FAT,LAZY SPONGING WORK-AVOIDING SO-CALLED CARERS,COME TO ME BECAUSE THE JOB CENTRE DARES TO QUESTION WHY THESE SPECIMINS DONT GET OFF THEIR ARSES AND TRY FOR A JOB.ok theres some real carers caring for disabled children,disabled parents or a spouse,but they were teachers,had real jobs worked.but the carers who come to me never worked ever.lived on the dole for years untill they cottoned-onto this get-out of job hunting thing,called being a carer.carers allowance was the worst days work of any government.yes,if you have to give-up work or go part time to care for someone who really needs care,you should get compensated for loss of earnings.
but not these never-worked-ever spongers".

i told the twit that the cause of carers rights,equality,was set-back years with such stone age comments.

i pointed out that the plight of carers was one of a very diverse group who are very-much forgotten by a callous state.i layed into this fool full-on about the stress,illness.missery,isolation,carers suffer.i railroaded this ill-informed clown into comming with me to meet my fellow carers at my local carers group.i was utterly livid.

i concluded by saying that stereotyping was typical of an out of touch minor politician.i reminded this clot that many carers were voters here.

but i roundly stated that these idiotic generalised comments were typical and proof to me of the perception we have to overturn.how dare anyone judge another.

i see carers equality and rights now,today,as much a battleground as martin luthor kings call for equality for his peoples or every bit as hard as the gay comnunity have had problems as they seek equality.carers are prejudiced against,it utterly enrages me.
hi maxi ,may i ask to which party this d***head belonged?.you should have taken a tape recorder along with you.
Sounds like you gave him a good verbal working over, Maxi. Image
im still angry the more i think of it.this citizen,very very surprisingly was not the usuall suspect,one would expect such ill informed rants from,but,a,wait-for-it,labour party person,retired teacher.
i phoned my freind,a lib-dem councellor to just see if i was going nuts,if it was me,was i missing something?.i got a very different responce.and some very graphic words,similar to my own,regarding the idiotic comments of this other fool.
further,my lib-dem chum told me that every week both the salvation army and the St Vincent De Paul society locally,and the lyons club,help-out over 60 families in dire need,the staggering thing is,some 41 families have carers and cared-for members.carers poverty is real,deep,horrific and
it only adds to my growing-yet-more,fury over those vile coments.
why don't people understand that we would all like to go back work full time,life be the way we planned it and be normal.i would love somebody to wave a magic wand so the wife would get her memory back,stop watching her go down hill as the years go on and not be so scared and depressed most of the time,there will always be the scroungers in society,hopefully the government will sort them out.i wish i knew how to handle the fact that when you think you've had a normal day reality kicks in ,like saturday,went out for wedding anniversary,meal etc and then sunday you realise that she can't remember any of it,lifes hard enough without idiots .
May I play devil's advocate? Image
(and keep in mind that I'm a sole carer and have been so for about 30 years, and I would LOVE to be able to go back to work, or take a vacation!!!!!)

I have a friend. He is 62 and is married to a lady who has MS. His wife runs her own accounting business which employs a large staff and she goes into work for about 4 hours every day. He drives her there, and drives her home.

In between dropping her off and picking her up, he has a job in a newsagency. He gets paid cash so he doesn't have to pay tax. He also plays in a band (lol, oldie's band) and works or rehearses 3 or 4 nights a week.

His wife's adult daughters (this is her second marriage) live down the street and spend more time at their Mum's place, doing for her, than at their own home.

But HE gets a carer's pension!!!! Full pension. Aus$700 per fortnight !!!

OK, ok, I'm with you, MOST of us are genuine carers who would love not to have to be carers, but like everything, there are people who do take advantage of their situation. Sad to say that it's them who give the rest of us a bad name in the eyes of some insensitive slobs like this politician. But we also know that unless you've been in this situation, or exposed to it, you have NO idea, and what such people need is to be educated.

I always find it amusing, irritating, frustrating, infuriating, that big-time rip-off merchants get away scot-free, but I get hauled into social security annually to report on my mother's health, confess or deny having been away from home for more than one night in the past 12 months, must reveal my bank balance, get questioned about whether I've done any work for pay, blah blah blah - and my answers are always greeted with suspicion and sometimes a knowing smirk from some 18 year old who can't get a job anywhere else.

Ooops, I forgot to be a devil's advocate, didn't I? Lol. But my point is that there ARE people who rip the system off, and there ARE lots of ignorant people who don't know any better just because they're only exposed to those scammers. Invite him around for dinner one night, Maxi, and let him sit and wait for a cold meal because you're up and down doing other things!
I thought I was cynical but today coffee with that minor politition was cynicle.
yes,not every person on benefit is honest.carers cannot be exempt.but not all carers are spongers
"It will get far worse far more rotten spongers with the cutbacks.You see real carers at your carers group,I meet some real stinkers out to milk the system,avoid work,milk the poor sod they care for to do it too.Its a nasty world".were the minor politicians words.I guess we are both right.
So, upon reading that twit's response, am I safe to assume that he's prepared to come to my house and spend all day doing the typical housewifely duties as well as running around after my husband, mother, sister in law and niece (and get abused for it) so that I can get a job, work full time and sit up all night crying in pain? Perhaps he'd like to go pick his car up off the ground on his own and get a rough idea of what I do every single day of my life?

Yes, I'm a carer, no, I was never able bodied from the day I was born and yes caring for others has aggravated my disabilities further. Can I get disability benefit? No, can I get respite care? No, can I get help around the house, No.

Am I frustrated to my wits end? yes! Why? Because I know some of the spongers that have made my life impossible - even today, they continue to get all the help while I know that the time I can provide care to the same level that I do is fast running out, yet I can't get help to continue to care for longer since my husband "isn't disabled enough" What happens when the day comes when we are both in wheelchairs? Is he supposed to provide all my needs in some sort of sick role reversal?

If that is what is expected then I'll either end up confined to bed or in a nursing home because he wouldn't be able to lift me in and out of my wheelchair.

I don't even want to be paid for the work I do. I do it out of love but I do need help to continue, either people to come in and help me or cash so I can hire the help I need would be nice.. If that makes me a sponger in his eyes, then so be it!

Sorry for the rant (again), I just had to get it out there
There are people that seem to live without a conscious or any sense of morality, they cheat any system or anyone any chance they get. IMO the media and now the current government have a lot to answer for because they are responsible for much of the negative attention about any of us receiving any sort of government help.

I say "help" because Carer's Allowance is a WAGE, not a benefit. It's taxed. It accrues National Insurance credits. The person cared for has to be registered as needing care by the DWP for a minimum of 35 hours a week. And the person giving the care does not need to be related to the caree in any way; so in a real sense they are employed to care for someone.

One thing I will say though - appearances can be deceptive. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I would not accuse anyone of cheating without knowing their personal situation.
I have mentioned this over and over again the six million claim does us no good at all... many years ago when talking to M.P. he agreed with me that the carers allowance should be at least doubled to £100 per week, but he then said the six million tag was a big problem if the allowance was raised how many of the six million "part time carers " would walk away from a low paid part time job or leave J.S.A. and move onto the carers allowance where they could receive the cash without the need to "look for work" ....

last time i checked D.W.&.P. said we had just 550-000 carers in receipt of the allowance ?