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On Hold - Page 7 - Carers UK Forum

On Hold

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
69 posts
Exc. An apology from me - i had misjudged your Avatar - initially i saw it as aggresive. Thanks for explaining - thats its actually protective and actively magic. Image
yeah, i am a slow learner!
The origins of the sword date back to Celtic mythology, but are found in British, Welsh, and Irish epics. The Welsh name for the sword was Caledvwlch. Irish stories call it Caladbolg, the fairy sword of the hero Cuchulain. In various British Arthur stories, Excalibur is often referred to as "Caliburn." Loomis comments the "ex-" or "es-" prefix that was later added was a "peculiar tendency" of the time period (424).
http://csis.pace.edu/grendel/projs993a/ ... alibur.htm
There are two explanations of the way in which Arthur acquires Excalibur. Contemporary story-tellers are fond of "the sword in the stone" narrative in which young Arthur pulls the magical sword from a rock and anvil bearing this inscription]
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. You can't expect to wield supreme power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!"
Brilliant Image

Secretly though ..admit it..that avatar tells me you're a romantic at heart eh? Image
I've been watching Merlin on a saturday night - Bradley James as Arthur is cute - even though I am well old enough to be his mother! Image

Eun
Just been reading excalibre's post about caring not being a burden but a choice.
I wish it had been that simple.
I was in the process of leaving my alcoholic husband, had in fact been on the council list for 6 months for a flat when he had his stroke
Now he was an alcoholic but NEVER violent or nasty, I'd just had enough of watching him get smashed every night for the previous 15 years.
I cared about him very deeply but did not love him as a wife loves her hubby.
He is left severely disabled both physically and mentally but he is good natured and fairly easy to look after but it is 24/7.
What were my choices? Image Image Image
Family hardly visited once he was out of hospital, I could not put him in a home with what would have been people who were a lot older, so I look after him.
I don't resent him and try never to get impatient with him, after all I would not wish his problems on anybody but it is tiring and lonely.
We cannot get out much as I have arthritis and pushing the wheelchair knocks my back out so YES I DO FEEL MY LIFE IS ON HOLD. I cannot get the years back. Image Image Image
Daylily - your story sounds almost like a carbon copy of my friend's life for many years.

It isn't always "that simple" as Excalibur suggests, so don't feel bad about that either. Sometimes people come over as very positive and because everything in their garden is rosy at the moment they find it difficult to imagine that others don't feel the same.

Some people have been carers for many more years than others and it is usually a lot easier to care for a young person from birth to a young adult than it is for someone who suddenly becomes disabled as an adult or in the case of some people, for several decades.
Its nearly 15 years since i started caring for my wife........., but when you consider that for 30 years my wife cooked washed cleaned went to work bore me two sons ,I now think I'm only giving back what she has done for me whilst I looked after my career, it is'nt in the slightest degree a burden for me as I know she would do exactly the same for me, age is against me but she will never go into a home even if it becomes a burden.

my best wishes to everyone
I don't agree that it is "easier" to care for a young person from birth to a young adult. Our caring has been for 25 years and will not end until either my son dies or my husband and I do. You have to watch that young person miss out on all the things he should have had but can't because of the Muscular Dystrophy and there is no gtting better only a deterioration with a fatal condition for which there is no treatment and no cure. At least if a person gets a disability later in life they have had a life.

My own muscular dustrophy is getting worse more slowly than my sons is but I have had a life.

Eun
There is nothing worse than watching your own child struggle with disability, they do not get to experience any of the things that people who may become disabled when they are older have had.
As carer and parent it is extremely hard and nothing easy in it at all.
Vicky
There is nothing worse than watching your own child struggle with disability, they do not get to experience any of the things that people who may become disabled when they are older have had.
As carer and parent it is extremely hard and nothing easy in it at all.
Vicky
I think it depends on the disability - Eun has a much heavier cross to bear than I do, and I am the first to admit it. Watching my son grow in confidence, independence and skills is a delight, and I was even pleased that his DLA was reduced recently from high to medium because he no longer requires night time assistance with continence etc - I regard that as a real achievement and bonus!

Well, thats something you wont hear very often on these lists, and it just goes to show that there are two sides to almost everything!
69 posts