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On a "Guilt trip" - Carers UK Forum

On a "Guilt trip"

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Hubby's had problem after problem this last 2 months, got a chest infection which sent his dementia twice as bad. Still has a cough but after being checked out twice been told theres nothing to worry about. Last week a urine infection which I'm now used to because of the indwelling catheter, Sunday had to call Doc out as he was shivering an feeling sick.In my blind panic I thought it was maybe another stroke, but Doc said the antibiotics hadnt kicked in yet!! Now I'm feeling "tattered".Last couple of days he has been unable to position himself from wheelchair to stairlift to bed an vice versa, has been totally miserable an Ive been in the firing line!! tonight he wanted to go to bed at nine an naggged an nagged while I was talking to our daughter on the phone.Again he was'nt able to get his co-ordination and it took me an hour transferring him from one place to another. My sciatica flared up today an taking him for his walk in the wheelchair today and undressing him has made it worse. Now I'm feeling so bad because I had no patience with him tonight an really snapped at him ,, mind'st he did snap back!! Looking at him now all snuggled up in bed I feel so bad and guilty, its like looking at a child and feeling remorse. Thinking now he may have had another mini stroke, taking him out for lunch tomorrow with twin daughters so hopefully he will feel a bit better. Its hard hacking the long winter nights and not being able to get out
Hi Margaret,
((((((((hugs))))))))) very scary and lonely, watching your loved ones
with illness. but you are human too, and we all get tired.
Take care
Minnie
My hubbys been knocked for 6 by another water infection. The joys of the supra pubic catheter. Things are starting to get a little strained here too.

You have my total sympathy so sending big hugs
((((((hugs)))))) to you.
This time of year always seems to make the bad stuff twice as bad. Shortened hours of daylight perhaps?

Hope things improve for you both and you find some help around the forum.

We have all been tattered and sitting on the bottom naughty step (many times in my case) but from there the only way is up.

Take care
Meg
I know just where you are coming from. Have a
((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))
Many thanks for all your hugs and kind words, it feels so good to know I am not alone. Had a good day out, shopping , pub lunch an then on to podiatrist. Hubby is now fast asleep . He will be shatteed as he woke at 3 this morning wanting to getup!! So greatful to my twin daughters who take us everywhere.
huge hugs back to you all x
Hang in there and try to see the funny side when you can,and that can take some doing.Can`t give you any easy solutions,as there aren`t any,but chatting here helps,and some of the responses will help,make you smile,or let you know there are others like you.Wish things weren`t the way they are but that`s life for some of us,and if you can take a step back and see what a good job you`re doing then maybe things won`t seem so bad.
Oh Margaret - I am so sorry to read this. I can sympathise over the sciatica - isn't it wretched? Have you tried acupuncture? I have been very impressed with it - when I get the slightest twinge now (maybe once a year) I go and have a session and it sorts it out.

I tried osteopath, 12 sessions of physio, stretching exercises lotions/potions and pills but acupuncture sorts it for me.
It is so hard to deal with those guilty feelings isn't it? I am a relatively new carer - my husband has terminal cancer - and some days we jsut spark off one another. i always feel so awful afterwards if I snap at him ....but like yours he gives as good as he gets sometimes. When I have had time to think I realise that it is normal and healthy....we are all under a lot of stress and even the nicest people feel frustrated.
Thinking of you...sending hugs...Helen x Image