nurses are angels? who are they kidding?

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Pretty hellish day today when we got to the hospital Robert had been sitting in his wheelchair totally alone (he is supposed to have a named nurse whose responsibility is supposed to be Robert) with a mouthful of grogger which had been there for 15 minutes (he could have aspirated!!) I had to get it out myself but we have already warned the nurses that if they were putting him into his wheelchair without us being there he needs someone with him at all times. They can't just dump him in his chair and leave him!
We were left totally alone for the 6 hours we were there! Every time he needed a cough (and he was very chesty today) its a procedure we have not yet been taught; we had to come the ward looking for someone who would be willing to leave their patient and get our son to cough before he choked to death!! They try to make us feel guilty by saying there are people in the ICU worse than Robert. Yers we do know that but Robert is not exactly in ther for the fun of it now is he? We also had an argument with someone from the kitchen because the nurse ordered something Rob didn't want to eat without consulting him and so we sent it back and asked for tomato soup and the woman from the kitchen was doing her nut and saying we should not have sent the bowlful of bovril (which they also sent up for lunch and for tea yesterday hence why he wanted the soup) back and if he orders something he should eat it!! This hospital is doing our head in!!

Eun
That's so unfair on Rob. He's so restricted anyhow, surely he at least deserves something nice to eat/drink. I'd be sending Bovril back too. That's not food, well as far as I'm concerned anyhow.
Eun, that's not acceptable. Not allocating him a nurse is dangerous and he has a right to choose his own food. Is he medically stable now?

Melly1
We had to "comb" the ward!
I'd be tempted to set up some covert video camera. A friend used to work for IBM, I suspect as a senior manager. He once recorded me representing local residents against a planning application. His camera looked like an ID card on a lanyard round his neck, but the recording quality was first class. Yes, we won!
BB
I was thinking the same about M and these carers to find out what they are doing if they're not spending the time cooking
M is complaining that they spend a lot of time on their phones! I'm getting nearer and nearer to getting a covert camera.
Eun - if you're talking about Assisted Coughing, this should be taught to you as a matter of course should Robert need to cough. I had to do this 80% of the time every time Mark needed to cough, but the nurses at the spinal unit showed me. Have a word with the ward sister to get someone to make time to show you. It's flammin' important isn't it?
Robert has a trachy. For him to cough a tube has to be put down his throat then its pulled out slowly while you press the button on the suction - this is what they call a "cough" but they don't let us do it as yet. Plus if we did do it we would probably see even less of his nurses as they do bugger all else at times! The physios came round today but said health professionals shouldn't be doing his physio or using his cough assist machine we parents should be shown how. Sorry but why the hell should we? Are we not allowed to get a rest - they are getting paid for it - we aren't. The government have stopped my carers allowance as far as they are concerned I am no longer a carer so why should we be doing things health professionals should be doing? We have also lost the extra help we got for council tax because "we are no longer caring" - that's funny what the hell are we doing spending 7 hours a day in the ICU if thats the case?

Eun
My mum was in hospital last year, and the "care" was abysmal. Nurses were openly on their phones - one whilst she was tidying up a ladies bed (she was in it at the time; the lady, not the nurse - that would have been a step too far!)
Everyone was tucked up in bed by 7pm, and the lights dimmed, whilst the nurses station was a hive of activity, with everyone gathered round looking at their phones.