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Not a carer, not yet a sandwich - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Not a carer, not yet a sandwich

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
Your welcome.

Deprivation of Assests ?

Always a good one when virtually all LAs are strapped for cash ?
@Honey Badger

Thanks so much. Perhaps I'm just a tiny little bit of being a carer, but the awful rest is just being a daughter.
This is just such a great and helpful community :) I'll be poping in sometimes. Take care!
@Chris From The Gulag
Again, many thanks for your reply.

Again, if my mum pays for the care herself, what is the threat?

Do you think that once the forthcoming Green Paper is in force, there would be some drastic increases of lifetime social care charges?


Best wishes
Again, if my mum pays for the care herself, what is the threat ?

In most cases , none.

Consider the following.

Parent sells property for £ 500k ... gifts £ 200k to siblings ... £ 300k used to pay for care homes fees.

However , after 6 years , funds are exhausted , and said parent is still thriving on this planet.

All attention will then turn to that £ 200k gifted away.

Green Paper ?

A variation of the existing , failing system , that does nobody any favours ... either to those with assests or to those without.

1 in 4 are BELOW the official poverty line ... how are they supposed to contribute under , say , an insurance scheme ?

A notional contribution guaranteeing precisely what when it comes to social care ?

NHS ... free at the point of delivery ... NO charge for the rich or the poor ... funded through general taxation.

Anyone complain that ... if they do NOT use it , they should not pay for it in taxes ?

Why not social care on the same principle ... free at the point of delivery , funded through general taxation ?
Evie,
I'm really worried that you are wearing rose tinted specs.
Mum should be fit and well at her age. I've had lots of surgery and health issues but at 67 I'm very independent and able to enjoy holidays in Greece, involving a fair bit of walking.
You say that mum is introvert, and that with you and your husband it's just enough, but not easy when you are still in what I call the "Honeymoon" period. Who will care for her if you or your husband are ill, or want a holiday from caring?

If you want to care for mum long term, would it be possible to build an extension for mum, so she has her own front door, own bathroom, living room, and kitchenette?
Then when mum needs more care than you can provide, she could have carers coming in, rather than her move into a care home perhaps?
When I was disabled in a car crash, my son converted our garage into a bedroom for me, I have an ensuite complete with washer/dryer. It's my nicest ever bedroom. Mum could fund an extension with the money from her flat, but you would need to make sure there was a proper legal arrangement.
You are a carer AND you are a daughter. They are not mutually exclusive. Most unpaid carers are also relatives, friends, neighbours etc.

Personally I always refer to (and think of) myself as partner first and carer second, almost incidentally, and I provide 24/7 care to a severely disabled man.
Hope for the best but plan for the worst. You and your Mum may not want her to go into a care home but circumstances may arise where you will have no choice. None of us expects this at your age (by which I mean young enough to have a Mum of 69) but it is going to happen to far more of us than we would like. I know finances etc are the last thing on your mind at the moment but if something does happen before you get it sorted it will be taken out of your hands and will be horrendously expensive and time consuming just when you least need it. See some of the other threads on lasting powers of attorney for more details, especially about what a nightmare the alternative is. So long as you have the powers in place they don't have to be activated until you need them or your Mum wants you to have them.

Also as part of long term/contingency planning try to suss out the local care homes and maybe get on a waiting list for the best of them - if there is no alternative at least then she will get the best that's around. There are still some good ones around but you may have to search hard for one that's good and local.

Maybe think about getting in touch with social services now and see if they have anything to offer to help with Mum's physical difficulties - anything under £500 (per item) is provided free without means testing, so it's worth a go. Just be aware you may have to try several different options before you find what's right for your circumstances. These days they are trying very hard to keep people in their own homes as far as possible so you should both be working towards the same outcome.

Keep communicating honestly about how the living arrangements are working and hopefully you will be able to agree a set of ground rules which you can all live with and if any particular issue becomes a sticking point perhaps ask on the forum for others suggestions/advice/experiences. You'll usually get a wide range of responses.
@Chris From The Gulag

Wasn't at all familiar with the upcoming regulation, the current legal arrangments etc. It all seems a bit unfair, all this assumption that people are hiding their assets to avoid paying for care.. To be honest, I'll wait to see what happens next with the Green Paper. I don't see really what I could be doing more - or coud I?

Thanks Chris
Your welcome.

The forthcoming Green Paper won't be !
bowlingbun wrote:
Tue May 07, 2019 1:24 pm
Evie,
I'm really worried that you are wearing rose tinted specs.
Mum should be fit and well at her age. I've had lots of surgery and health issues but at 67 I'm very independent and able to enjoy holidays in Greece, involving a fair bit of walking.
You say that mum is introvert, and that with you and your husband it's just enough, but not easy when you are still in what I call the "Honeymoon" period. Who will care for her if you or your husband are ill, or want a holiday from caring?

If you want to care for mum long term, would it be possible to build an extension for mum, so she has her own front door, own bathroom, living room, and kitchenette?
Then when mum needs more care than you can provide, she could have carers coming in, rather than her move into a care home perhaps?
When I was disabled in a car crash, my son converted our garage into a bedroom for me, I have an ensuite complete with washer/dryer. It's my nicest ever bedroom. Mum could fund an extension with the money from her flat, but you would need to make sure there was a proper legal arrangement.
@bowlingbun
I agree, mum should be fit at her age, but she unfortunately isn't... Few days ago she had lumbar spine MRI, now we are awaiting GP's consultation regarding that. Hopefuly soon she'll be correctly diagnosed and will get proper treatment and help.
As for building an extension... Currently not really possible, we don't have enough money to do that. Yes, maybe in the future, when her flat is sold... But these legal arrangements... I'm just so not aware of that sort of things...
Currently we are sharing the same front door, bathroom and living room with kitchen. She only has her own bedroom.
As mentioned, so far so good. This is me, wearing (you guessed that correctly) rose tinted specs... I know I should think about the future, but for some reason I'm postponing this.
Thank you for your support! xxx