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Feel like giving up today ..what am I meant to do? - Carers UK Forum

Feel like giving up today ..what am I meant to do?

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
You might remember me I care for my gran full time and my aunt lives in Australia and uncle nearby but they don't help at all.
Anyway I contacted adult services and waiting for a carers assesment ..when asked how long they said how long is a piece of string.
I'm at my wits end,I couldn't just leave her high and dry.
Her ankles and legs are swollen due to blood pressure tablets (amlodopine) sorry might be wrong spelling..doctor said stop taking them and go into see him on Friday .
She refused to stop the medication and won't go to doctors,her ear is more blocked up now and won't believe it needs syringing she says they are putting things in her ears (the people who live in the wall)
Refuses to put drops in,she won't wear her new slippers so that's not helping the walking.
She bolts the door and I can't get in unless she hears the phone and knows it's me but now she can't hear the phone .
Get in today and her fridge is off ..she's turned it off.
I honestly think I'm going to have some kind of breakdown ..I keep saying to my aunt I can't cope ,she isn't taking me seriously ..now waiting ages for this assesment thing.
I feel alone,trapped,unhappy..I don't know what next
Ring Social Services Complaints Department - NOT the local office. Say that you need EMERGENCY RESPITE as you are having a breakdown. Lay it on thick that you CANNOT COPE and then go home. Because while you continue to care they will do nothing. Give SSD the details of your uncle, who lives nearby, if I remember rightly. Because HE is Nan's nearest relative.
Another option would be to call the ambulance. They might decide that she doesn't need to go to hospital but does need the intervention of the "Rapid Response Team" or similar. It might be called something different in your area, but basically it's a special team designed to avoid an admission.
I really feel for you in this situation, torn between love for your Gran and the desperate need to get some help in to share the caring. Keep in touch.
Sarah
Did you call Social Services as we all suggested when you posted last week? What did they say?

You must make them realise that after 10 years of sole care for an aggressive and difficult woman that you need a break, and you need it now.
You sound really stressed and absolutely past it and I worry about about you, and about Gran

Xx MrsA
I've rang the adult services line and have gotten no help really.
I've read local reviews about them and every post says how bad they are for getting help etc
Today has been tough for me..tbh it's making me wish I wasn't here anymore,Aunty rang today and no help again.
Just told me to get some compression socks for her legs and to get some new slippers to help her walk.
She's off to Dubai tomorrow so won't hear from her for a week now..uncles phone been turned off for a week.
Tried to speak to my dad about how I'm feeling but he doesn't want to know,says it's not he's problem and he doesn't want to hear about my gran.
There seems no point anymore,I've got nothing else left to give.
I rang gran 15 minutes ago and after ringing for a hour she finally heard the phone then she was screaming at me,literally screeching what a bad useless person I am.
She's had enough of me etc etc
I'm sick of asking for help.
Yesterday the doctor gave me anti depressants and a sheet on deep breathing excercise and told to ring adult services (which I've already done )
This is going to sound crazy but if I just walked away and left her then rang social services and said I'm done I don't think I could handle the guilt,she relies on me and she isn't always so nasty,times she's lovely and we have her old music on and she's great,we laugh but then it doesn't last long and things happen..
This wouldn't be so bad if my Aunty was here helping ..you know so I didn't feel like it's all on me..
Hi Sarah
What about walking away for a while, not forever, not permanent but just until you are rested and feel better ?
Yes tell her GP and Social services but just simply take a break.

And while forums have their place nothing beats talking to areal person. Samaritans are always there on 116 123

Xx MrsA
Sarah, turn your phone off and have a bath now, and a drink, then get yourself to bed. No one listened, not your aunt, uncle, Gran or Social Services. Tomorrow is another day. Stick to your guns, or better still, go out for the day and do what Sarah wants to do. Time the rest of your lazy cruel family were now kicked into action by boots bigger than yours. I'm absolutely behind you, and I'm sure others will be too. Make no mistake, you have been abused for years.
You know I feel much better now,I've had a bath and poured a drink..I just needed to relax I think.
Going to order a takeaway ..Thankyou for listening
Phone is going off
Tomorrow is another day
I'm definitely behind you. I would be if you walked for good to be honest! Have a restful night, knowing you have done your best, on your own. Let's hope, 1day, your selfish family won't need help. Or maybe hope they do? I'm not really a person to wish ill on anyone but the temptation can be there.