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nightmare experience at a hospital. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

nightmare experience at a hospital.

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Hi pot of tea. Thank you for responding.Very interesting what you said too. My overiding concern was that my daughter had very serious sickness and diarrhia possibly norvovirus so the doc in casualty said ,and the so called ward she was on was a holding ward for people with many serious problems. (Didnt mention she was on a drip too).I was highly concerned for the other patients. Didnt want them to catch it ,but the only way I could keep her clean was using a small handbasin!!!![ I had the bug too so you can understand the difficulties.If I had allowed the nurses to help me ,and I must say they where not keen but did half heartedly ask if I needed help once or twice, they would have passed it on to the others.
I have ALWAYS stayed with my daughter on all her admissions and cared for her. On this occasion was told she would be given a one to one because I was ill too.It just never happened.
Have already made a verbal complaint and now waiting for the forms to submit a written one.b][/b]
SO sorry to read this Jeanette and hope you are now both feeling better. Like others, I'm sad too because I am also well aware that our huge local hospitals are not up to much either.

They can issue all the awards they like, tick this & that box, stick posters up where they want but the care, compassions and cleanliness is, in my opinion, sadly lacking.

When my son was in hospital last year there was a learning-disabled woman (looked like in her 40s) in a side room beside the nurses station. She was clearly agitated and confused and was wandering round & round her room wringing her hands together.

She kept poking her head out of the doorway and these nurses just kept barking at her "get back in there." Why one of them couldn't just sit with her for a while I don't know, but they were busy discussing their holiday photos.

The next day they had stuck a big handwritten sign on her door which read "Do not feed anything. Chokes. " And they'd underlined "anything." It honestly looked like it was instructions for an animal. Why they couldn't have put a note which said "This patient (or used her name) is not allowed solid food at the moment" is beyond me.

Anyway, I'd definitely complain Jeanette.
Another ex nurse here and like lazydaisy says in the old days nurses did just that nursed, we spent most of the time on wards with just a week in between at school, patients needs came first.

When I was a student nurse a young man of 17 came in and he had Downs Syndrome, his Mum had another 5 children at home so couldnt stay with him and I chose to stay with him overnight without pay so he had a familiar face to see to his needs and to make him feel secure, I cannot imagine any nurse doing that or being allowed to do that nowdays.

My daughter is 16 with Downs Syndrome and I am dreading if she has to go into hospital as here she would be put on an adult ward maybe even a mixed one! She wouldnt cope at all
Some very unpleasant reading here,and shows an alarming lack of care and support for our loved ones and us in general hospitals nationally ,not just my city. So we need to know what is being done to rectify it? Perhaps Carers UK will ask a spokes person in the government what their policies are and what the the general hospitals are supposed to do, and take it from there when a severe problem happens? We all need to know! It could help someone in the future to overcome a high concern quickly if they already know their rights if they have any!!!!
Am not shocked in what you read on that door Penny because of previous experiences but it is a horrifying thing to read when we have a loved one with the same condition and it being allowed!!!!.
Saddened but not surprised by the experiences mentioned here.

I think there is a general lack of understanding in the NHS of the extent of the WORK that carers do and a reluctance to recognise it.

We had an experience a few years ago where daughter was repeatedly sent away over a period of four days - became an emergency ond ay 5 - waited hours for transfer ambulance from one hospital to another and I then had to drive over 20 miles to the second hospital when I had had very little sleep over the previous 5 days - nobody queried it! (once there I had a couple of hours sleep in a chair before dashing home to organise the dog etc.)

Next day I was asleep on the pull down bed (naughty me - not supposed to use it in the day!!!!!) and a really nice junior doc was very apologetic about having to wake me up so he could get to that side of my daughter's bed! Two years ago I was alseep in a chair at the side of daughter's bed when nasty arrogant little S**T of a consultant arrived and woke me up with no real purpose at all - then he was annoyed that I couldn't really answer his inane questions - bet he would insist on coffee when he wakes up before facing an inquisition!!!!!!!!

I know of one ward sister who had the bright idea that all disabled patients would be placed in side rooms and ALL their care would be done by family - HER nurses would do nothing!!!! Fortunately some of the good guys shouted her down !! I think these incidents often arise from the general attitude in the NHS that carers are servants - well this carer is nobody's servant and will never be the servant of anybody in the NHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Image
You sound such a lot like me boggle.Fight your corner!!!!
There was no pull down bed on this holding ward, only a firm hard upright easy chair and I was expected to give 24/7 full care to my daughter and sit and sleep on that!!!! 67 hours approx by the time she was discharged. (Read my prev message how I did get a better sleeping chair.)

My intentions now are to let as many people as possible know how badly she and I where treated. I only hope it doesnt happen to any one else but think that thought is rubbish!!
Thanks for answering. The more attention and information brought to the powers that be's attention the more chance we will be better treated.

Jeanette
Very true, fight your corner else you'll get walked over.

I hope you are both feeling better now.

Sending you both love and hugs,

Karen x x
My son had an operation on his drooping eyelid when he was 4 (now 21) and on the childrens' ward at the hospital, there was a room allocated for parents who wished to sleep over. We were on mattresses on the floor albeit, BUT, nobody, unless they specifically wanted to sleep next to their child, was expected to sleep in a chair. If anything was amiss with our child or was calling for their mum during the night, the night nurse would come into the room and wake the parent. We had the run of the nurses' kitchen downstairs too, which was well-used way into the night, when parents of sleeping children, would congregate over coffee to chat and allay their fears. Wasn't a private hospital or anything, just the old Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat hospital in Shrewsbury, a lovely old building with a palatial stairway and a huge window on the mid-way landing. Flats now ......
But if only hospitals would bring back the personal touch and get back to the 'CARING' side of nursing, both to patients AND their worried relatives. When hubby's been in the spinal unit, lovely though they all are with the patients, I've been sitting in the day room in tears and nobody came to speak to me - just got stared at. It's a shame.
When my younger son was diagnosed with diabetes, he was eight months old. He was admitted as an emergency in the evening. We left our elder son with friends for an hour, and my husband waited with me until Rhys had had a drip put up(which I wasn't allowed to be present for). He went then, as we knew that our other son was really upset with us leaving him in a hurry. I couldn't get hold of my mother, it was the one night in the month where she and my Dad had a night out. I sat in the side ward with Rhys, crying so much that I must have almost caused a flood.Knowing my child had to have a restricted diet for the rest of his life,dreading the insulin injections he would need every day twice a day. The nurses were at the nurses station, sitting chatting(it was night staff on by then, and not many patients in). I was feeling really sorry for myself, and for my family. Ben had Downs Syndrome, now here we were having to cope with something else that felt like the end of the world at that time. About two hours later, when nobody had even come in to look at my son, a Dr came to check his blood sugar. The Dr took one look at me, and called a nurse to get me a cup of tea. He sat, he held my hand and listened to everything I was scared about. He was so lovely.
Rhys was treated well while he was in, but that night, I needed support, care and understanding, I had nothing from the staff until that Dr came into the room.
Oh that is so sad Lazydaisy Image It also shows how just a few moments of someone's time can make a huge impact and this will probably be your lasting impression.

When my DD was born she was in SCBU and something happened in there which I have never forgotten. A nurse was checking on the baby next to mine who was a little West indian girl. She made a very racist remark about the baby and joked about her features and I often think I should have reported her for that because I think it is very wrong to have someone like that working with newborn babies.

Unfortunately I'd had a terrible pregnancy, early labour and a very premmie baby and my head was all over the place so I just stood there like a lemon instead of saying something ... but it has always bothered me.