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Night care for Mother-in-Law. Difficult new stage - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

Night care for Mother-in-Law. Difficult new stage

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Jolanta_1901 wrote:
Wed Mar 16, 2022 5:57 pm
But one thing baffled me when my dear husband said he may pay for MIL's care with our savings and go to work to make up for it. I explained to him that I don't like this idea as a starting point. MIL's money is the first to be used, I think that is fair. She's got a little bit more than 23k.
No way!!! If he ends up working then that will also impact on family time. It should be coming out of MIL's savings and once she is below £23k, social care will contribute to the cost. It's better to have a Needs Assessment.

Melly1
No, No, that is your money.

Do not under any circumstances subsidise any care. You can remortgage the house if neccessary, but you MUST keep your money entirely separate!
Thank you for your replies. Yes, I know, as a principle, the money needs to be my Mother-in-Law's and ours (mine, husband's) need to be separate from it.
But, you know, I can hear explanations like: everything she owns my husband will inherit and so on.

Do you know any life stories when subsiding care for an elderly parent backfired? What is the danger here? I just have no experience. Obviously, we would not give her too much as we are not a well-off family. But I think my husband may treat it as a kind of a moral obligation. I opposed. I feel like the selfish one again. ;)
Jolanta,
the issue is that as her savings lessen the care will be funded by social care. However, if your husband is funding her care - social care will never get to pick up the bill as it will keep coming out of your husbands pocket. Therefore it will cost the family more than if she paid for it herself.

Melly1