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Will I EVER see mum alive again??? - Carers UK Forum

Will I EVER see mum alive again???

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I haven't posted for a few weeks as I've been dedicating much of my time pursuing a means to get my mum out of the care home she was dumped in, and getting her home.

We are now into the 8th month of her being away from home. She had sustained a small fracture above her right knee, back in July of last year. Following a short stay in hospital, she has been moved between various places including a rehab/physio specialist unit (twice!) and the care home she is currently in (for the 2nd time) since December!

Her leg is well healed and she is clinically weight-bearing. Problem here is, she did not receive any physio or rehab whatsoever in all those months, and she has been left to deteriorate, spending the best part of her days lying on her back on her bed!

As I have written previously, the one factor preventing her from coming home is, her care needs have insisted she requires 'a hospital bed and assistance from 2 carers'. I have been mum's carer for the past 7 years. She has NEVER been bed-bound, even 4 years ago when she had a similar fracture by her other knee, and her leg in a full brace. With the slightest assistance from me, mum has always been able to sit up in bed, wash and dress herself, and do all the rest. She had regained full mobility (walking with a frame) after a short course of treatment from a local private physio facility.

Mum was assessed as 'lacking capacity' so this initial decision was made via a 'Best Interests' meeting back in September. It was little wonder mum had been assessed in this way. I have only recently discovered her GP had stated, on her hospital discharge form, that she had a 'history of Alzheimers'!!!

This was a 'first' for me!!! What the hell?????!!! Since WHEN had she been officially diagnosed? And on what evidence had this conclusion been reached? Was it the couple of memory tests she had when (a) the GP fired stupid questions at her? ... or (b) when some weirdo 'memory expert' visited her here at home, and did exactly the same?!!!

Mum has had no brain scans or physical tests and, as her daughter who's lived with her all her life, I can assure everyone, she does NOT have dementia!!! A bit forgetful, and unable to do direct debits, but Alzheimer's??? NEVER!!!

I have since learnt that, the 'advocate' at the B.I. meeting, wasn't one! The Chair and Decision Maker were not identified to me and, to this day, the minutes/details of that meeting had never been made available to me.

Mum has had NO voice since she's been dumped in care. All she wants is to return home.

We couldn't fit a hospital bed into our tiny flat even if we wanted one. Because of this, the social worker is detaining her indefinitely. After months of making complaints, the care home finally allowed her private physio to visit last week. Unfortunately, too little, much too late.

I can see that it's unlikely I'll see mum alive again. They even dumped her in a home outside of our London Borough. As a result, her GP Practice has de-registered her! She has lost all human rights.

The care home is NHS funded. If only I could have her moved back into one within our own borough. Does anyone know if this is possible? I have also been told that we could change the social worker, but I forget by whom. I have good reason for trying to get her back into her borough of residence.

This is, I know, an extremely complex case. Neither of us consented to a care home and, on the 2nd occasion mum was moved back there from the rehab hospital, the social worker didn't bother to either consult or inform me.

I CANNOT believe the issue of a 'bed' can determine the rest of mum's life.

Could I somehow change the care home and the social worker?

PLEASE help!!!
Does mum own a house or have over £8,000 in cash?
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Mar 01, 2021 2:36 pm
Does mum own a house or have over £8,000 in cash?
She doesn't own the property we live in.

Let's say that, officially, she has no savings.
In that case, that's good.
Google "legal aid solicitors" with the name of your County, and go and see them for an initial consultation, on mum's behalf.
Mention "Deprivation of Liberty" and failing to offer choice.
bowlingbun wrote:
Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:22 pm
In that case, that's good.
Google "legal aid solicitors" with the name of your County, and go and see them for an initial consultation, on mum's behalf.
Mention "Deprivation of Liberty" and failing to offer choice.
Exactly! And I had contacted a couple of 'Social Care' specialist solicitors who had advertised online. This got as far as mum's case being 'discussed with their managers' before they got back to me saying, 'Sorry, our caseload is too full at the moment'!!!

So why advertise online for work?

They most probably did not offer funding after all!

I will Google some in my London Borough.

What an eye-opener discovering that neither of those 'Best Interests' meetings were conducted in line with the official guidelines.