new to sharing my experience

[bowlingbun]

I quite agree with Myrtle. How are you supposed to know whether damage has been done? Ring the Head Office of the Ambulance Service (not the local branch, look it up on Google) and ask them what is supposed to happen in case of a fall. After they have replied, tell them what is happening locally. Until you tell them, how are they supposed to know? Make sure you have a pen and paper handy, write down the date and time of your call, and what was said, while they are saying it. If there's any further problem, you can just say "Well I've had a word with XXX and they say you must do ..."

[Lostforever]

Thank you myrtle and bowlingbun, I should indeed tell them that there can be a problem in some cases. as I said mostly they have been pretty good and its no joke hauling 20 stone of dead weight around I appreciate this. But at present I have no option and if the ots refuse to give me a hoist because he doesn't want it I am in a cleft stick.

Please do not think I am running down the paramedics in general I couldn't do their job for anything but like everywhere else you have the odd one and it can make a stressful situation a whole lot worse for evrybody

[poppett]

Dad wears his alarm on a wrist band. There are also pull cords in each of the rooms in his house and a button on the wall in the hall which raises the alarm if needed.

Hope you enjoy the forum.

Take care
Meg

[Robert]

Hello

Sounds like an all too familiar situation. I know my mum rarely wore her alarm. She fell last year and managed to get to the phone, but now she is much better about having it around her neck. There isnt really a great deal you can do to 'make' her wear it, apart from what I am sure you are doing now.

It could well be a useful time to get a little involvement from Social Services ( now generally called Adult Services ). They wont be able to make your mum wear the alarm but they can be very helpful in helping you to take stock of things and help you consider what other help might be useful. I understand your concerns here, but many people do have very positive experiences. Social Workers are usually trying to do their best.

You might want to think about what are your main concerns regarding your mum. Is it risk of falling ? If so, when and where is more likely ? For example, quite a lot of folk fall at night to and from the bathroom, and getting a commode close to the bed can really help reduce the risk of night time falling. And many folk can find mornings tricky - joints are less supple - and getting dressed is more difficult than getting undressed, especially stuff like getting things over your head and trying to put clothes on while standing on one leg ! Getting undressed is less risky, generally. So maybe having a Carer just in the mornings could again be one way of reducing some of the risks. And that way you will know that if there is a problem, someone will call you.

Getting an assessment from Adult Services does sound a good idea in your situation. You might be surprised just how pleasant and helpful the person turns out to be ! They will have a useful discussion with you to include the above type of thinking. Of course you can choose to buy care privately directly from an agency, but if it comes via Adult Services then your mum may not be charged so much - charges being subject to a financial assessment.

The other simple thing is that if your mum does not wear the alarm, can it be kept somewhere that she might be able to reach if she fell ? Maybe somewhere different to where the 'phone is located, if you follow my thinking. And could you get more than one alarm button if this approach is useful ?

Hope it goes well with the GP and Social Services. Good to be taking some positive steps.

I wish you well,

Robert

[rosie b]

i know how you feel. Today we had a few pieces of equipment delivered to help with toilet and bathing hubby. He just said "What have they sent this for? I dont need this stuff" I told him the Ot had sent it to help make life a little bit easier and his reponse was " I dont need help Ive got you to help."

This is so familiar- how do you deal with it? Apart from wondering what you did to deserve this! My husband is just like this but at the moment if he says he doesn't want something the Ot just says okay and goes away, no matter how many times I've said if he falls(and he will) I can't pick him up.Calling the paramedics is not always a good option- they aren't all sweetness and light!!

Well I spoke to his OT today who wanted to know how we were getting on with the new equipment and I told her how he was but I will just keep persevering. She understands with his condition he doesnt like any change to his routine at all. But I have realised that I have to try to make his routines fit in with what is best for me. I think my problem was that I gave in to him too easily and that made him expect his own way all the time. A bit like a spoilt child. I hope he will gradually get used to the changes. i am expecting a tough few weeks but I have realised I have altered my life so much over the past year I have no time for me and am losing touch with my family as I have to fit all his routine into the exact time and order he wants. He has fallen a number of times but when the OT spoke to him he just said I dont fall any more when he had just fallen that morning. Luckily she listened to me and just this week they have fitted rails for him around the house.

[Lostforever]

Hi Rosie B its a really difficult one when you have to combine mobility problems with declining mental powers. You are lucky having an ot who listens to me- ours will at the moment only listen to him and in fact expressed the opinion that carers were often more trouble and more demanding than the patients- I'm sure the fact that they are there and coping 24/7 might just qualify them to hold an opinion worth listening to.

At the moment I am not sure what I am dealing with in my old man, apart from the fact that he is getting more and more immobile and less and less likely to admit he needs any aids - which leaves us to sort it all out. I know just how you feel.

[rosie b]

Hi Rosie B its a really difficult one when you have to combine mobility problems with declining mental powers. You are lucky having an ot who listens to me- ours will at the moment only listen to him and in fact expressed the opinion that carers were often more trouble and more demanding than the patients- I'm sure the fact that they are there and coping 24/7 might just qualify them to hold an opinion worth listening to.

At the moment I am not sure what I am dealing with in my old man, apart from the fact that he is getting more and more immobile and less and less likely to admit he needs any aids - which leaves us to sort it all out. I know just how you feel.

I have to agree with you finding support from the Ot has helped. She is new to us and is more understanding than the original. she was sent by his social worker after she made an assessment on him and a carers assessment on me. She came on a day when he was being particularly difficult, as he was adamant he didnt want help from anyone but me. She could see it was a lot of pressure and I asked her what would happen if I couldnt cope anymore and she said they would do everything they could not to let it reach that point. I think in the long run that day I realised this was true as it is best for them to make sure I can home care him as long as possible, which is what I want to do anyway.