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new to sharing my experience - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

new to sharing my experience

Share information, support and advice on all aspects of caring.
I was also worried about the social worker originally but when I did agree to her coming she was very good and though I did not feel everything she offered would be acceptable to hubby at the moment as he refuses to accept help and gets very agitated, she has given me alot of options and put me in contact me the occupational therapist , who was fantastic. Social worker didnt try to force anything on hubby just let us know what help could be offered and left it with me to decide if and when I need any more help.
I've lost count now of how many times my mum has used the alarm to summon assistance, they are an absolute godsend. Fortunately, she is very good about wearing hers. I'm first on the list of people to be called, so I just wonder if you could say to mum it's a way of calling you more quickly? The call centre are very good, if they think mum needs an ambulance then they call the ambulance first, and then ring me to let me know. (I have a few health issues, so can't pick mum up off the floor). Incidentally, the ambulance staff are absolutely brilliant, they are always so keen to help. Recently, I have come to know two ambulance staff, you would not believe some of the stories they tell about people wasting their time. They just love little old ladies like mum who are polite and don't cause any hassle, so don't ever, ever worry about calling them if someone has fallen. If someone falls frequently, then they call in a special falls adviser.
Hi Lorna,
This is a great place to talk to people with no judgment, we all know how you feel.
My Dad used to keep his alarm in his cardy pocket. He hated wearing it round his neck.
i know how you feel. Today we had a few pieces of equipment delivered to help with toilet and bathing hubby. He just said "What have they sent this for? I dont need this stuff" I told him the Ot had sent it to help make life a little bit easier and his reponse was " I dont need help Ive got you to help."
This is so familiar- how do you deal with it? Apart from wondering what you did to deserve this! My husband is just like this but at the moment if he says he doesn't want something the Ot just says okay and goes away, no matter how many times I've said if he falls(and he will) I can't pick him up.Calling the paramedics is not always a good option- they aren't all sweetness and light!!
hi everyone

although i have been looking after my mum for the last 6 years, i am new to sharing my experiences with anyone. i need some support. i am afraid of being judged but i need to speak to someone as i am finding things difficult. can anyone help me please>
It took me a long time to realise I was out of my depth and needed help, but don't be afraid about being judged- we all do what we have to do and we all know that. So come on in and tell us and if you don't want to post you can always pm people if you think they can help.
For me its been a voyage of knowledge- somtimes you are hit with things you do not understand but someone will have an experience to share. Don't struggle on alone, we are all here to listen and help if we can
Thank you everyone who has replied to my postings, I am very grateful to you for taking the time to do so.

I am going to go to her doctor first of all and then call on social services. I have never had to use them before and don't know anyone who has down here.

I feel the burden has been lightened ever so slightly just by a few lovely messages, your very kind Image
Hi Lorna,
Welcome, nobody judges here , they are a good crowd , its like a
big family. so stay with us, it will help a bit with the isolation.
Take care
Minnie Image
"Paramedics aren't all sweetness and light"? It might be worth contacting the ambulance management team in your area. Ask them what their policy is in their area? One of my friends is a very senior manager in our area, South Central. He would be mortified if anyone said this of the people under him. Paramedics are an important part of Community Care - you are saving the NHS a fortune and in return they have paramedics when you need them. When my mum falls, she simply can't get up again, due to osteoporosis and arthritis, paramedics are there for her too, not just road accidents. The teams in your area might just need a gentle reminder. Have you seen anyone who is the local falls specialist - avoiding the fall in the first place is always better, but not always possible. The bottom line is that you need to feel confident that you can cope when a fall happens. Take care.
That didn't come out quite as I meant it! Mostly they have been really good but just occasionally you come across some who are not.My husband is the same, can't get up if he falls. but he weighs 20 stone and therein lies the problem Add to that the fact there are other aspects to his personality that we are only just beginning to understand which make him even more tricky.
Yes I have tried falls specialists and the problem is that I don't feel I can cope with a fall, or didn't at the time. Bit by bit I am learning but it doesn't help if you have a paramedic saying' we aren't supposed to do this anymore'Especially when said paramedice was larger than my husband!!
hi Lorna and welcome, nobody judges here, we have a wealth of experience that we are more than happy to share Image

re paramedics, when my oh was still in danger of falls (now he's only in danger of being dropped Image !) I was roundly told off for picking him up because that (among other things!) is what paramedics are for, as apart from the damage you might do to yourself, there is also the damage your caree might have done to themselves.